Obama Rejects Keystone XL Pipeline, Then Issues Executive Order Mandating Keystone XXXL Pipeline, Citing U.S. Political Climate Change

Funny story written by Moose

Saturday, 7 November 2015

WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama rejected a presidential permit Friday for the controversial Keystone XL pipeline, citing concerns about its impact on the climate. Immediately following the rejection, Mr Obama issued an executive order, mandating the construction of the Keystone XXXL Pipeline, citing the recent American political climate change.

After the Republican rout on Tuesday's off-year elections, Mr. Obama clearly realized that his presidency has been a miserable failure for the Democrat party. Under President Obama, Democrats have lost 900+ state legislature seats, 12 governors, 69 House seats and 13 Senate seats.

So, to shore up support from the business community and everyday-Americans, Mr. Obama mandated the Keystone XXXL Pipeline project.

The project will be 79 times larger than the original pipeline and will travel through every state in the country, including Alaska and Hawaii. The oil will be pumped from Canada, then travel to each state, and will ultimately return to Canada, where it will be put on diesel-powered trains and will be transported to the Gulf of Mexico. The project is projected to cost $13.7 trillion. Mr. Obama stated that a new Executive Order will be issued next week, mandating that the USA's top earners will pay for the project.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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