Trump does Shakespeare

Funny story written by Philip J. Moss

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Quince: Is all our company here?

Trump: We don't need anyone else: I can play all the roles.

Quince: You are set down for Pyramus.

Trump: I'll play him, and Thisby, too. And the wall, and the lion.

Quince: You can play no part but Pyramus . . .

Trump: You watch - I'll be great. They'll love me, even in Iowa.

Quince: But . . .

Trump: Not only will I be great as Pyramid or Paramus, whatever, I'd be great as president of the U.S., and I'd be great as president of Venezuela. They need a strong leader down there.

Quince: But . . .

Trump: And FIFA, I'd be a great president of that organization, too.

Quince: . . . Pyramus, you are set down only for Pyramus.

Trump: I could also run the IMF, better than anyone. I mean, who knows more about money than me? I'm swimming in money.

Quince: You are . . .

Trump: And let's not forget the Federal Reserve. I could run the Fed better than the old broad there now, the one with a face that's even worse that Carly What'sHerName. Huh. A face that's fit only to be on the ten dollar bill.

Puck: What hempen homespuns have we swaggering here?

Trump: I could straighten out Syria. And Putin, too. I'll build a wall around Syria, just like the wall to keep out Mexicans, only this one would keep ISIS in. It'll be huge.

Quince: You speak all your parts at once, cues and all!

Trump: I can do them all, with one hand tied behind my back.

Quince: But . . .

Trump: You and the liberal media are trying to make an ass of me, but it won't work. They all love me. Titania, Cobweb, Peasblossom . . .

Puck: [aside] My mistress GOP with a monster is in love.

Trump: You know who the real ass is? It's Carson who's the real ass. Him and Jeb and Marco and, and . . . Where was I. Methinks I had a dream. I was on a stage, by myself, and there were ten anchors from Fox, and MSNBC, and CBS and NPR, and they were all firing questions at me, and I stumped them all. And it went on and on, and the place was really hot, and I wanted to take a leak . . . But I was terrific!

Puck: Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Copyright © 2015 Philip J. Moss - All rights reserved.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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