Written by Kal-El Fine

Tuesday, 3 November 2015

SEATTLE (The Kal-El Report)- Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson told Fox News' Greta Van Susteren in her "Off the Record" show this week, "If our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ had an assault rifle or even a sidearm like a Glock, he would be alive today, an American, and a modern day carpenter. Jesus would not be a politician, but would teach that in the end days, the federal government will mandate Sunday church attendance, giving all who comply the "mark of the beast."

His statements Thursday about an armed Christ, along with many others he's made on guns, were swiftly attacked by the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), and religious leaders, including Pope Francis who issued a rebuttal from the Vatican. The Pope said Carson's statements were "historically inaccurate and specifically that the Jews in biblical times did not have access to firearms."
ADL national director Herbert Leslie said, "Even if Jesus had a sidearm, such as a semiautomatic pistol, he would have run out of bullets quickly. The immense amount of javelins, arrows, rocks, or swords available to the Romans in this era would certainly enforce the totalitarian power of the Roman state."

James W. "Jim" Porter, an attorney and also president of The National Rifle Association (NRA), said Carson's statement about Jesus being armed is, "some God-honest truth and Jesus had his Second Amendment constitutional right to be armed and did not require a background check."

The Jesus comment was only the latest of Carson's recent statements on firearms. The retired neurosurgeon also faced criticism for statements he made on a SiriusXM radio show about a time he faced a gun in a Baltimore Popeye's restaurant. Carson recalled his Popeye's stickup experience during a Wednesday interview with Urban View host Karen Hunter. "I have had a gun held on me when I was in a Popeye's organization," said Carson. "The guy comes in, put the gun in my ribs. And I just said, 'I believe that you want the guy behind the counter.'" The Baltimore Police Department said it did not have enough information to confirm Carson's story. The Police Department explained on Twitter it had received "multiple media requests" in response to Carson's interview, but without a date and time they could not confirm its validity.

Carson was pressed about the statements on Thursday during an appearance on Michael Smerconish's radio program, given the leading candidate's critique of the Oregon community-college shooting victims earlier this week. "I would not just stand there and let him shoot me," Carson told Fox News on Tuesday, referencing the Oregon shooting. "I would say: 'Hey, guys, everybody attack him. He may shoot me, but he can't get us all.'"

Carson finished his interview on Fox News with a poem he claimed he made up on the spot. He recited:

Roses are red,
Violets are blueish,
If Jesus had a Glock,
We'd all be Jewish.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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