There were 1,162 spoof news stories published in April 2008. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Worlds Smallest Vagina - New Record Holder
The Guinness Book of Records has just confirmed that they have discovered the smallest vagina ever caught on record. It belongs to Jennifer Jenkins, a trailer-trash skank who lives somewhere in Nebraska.
Read full storyNaked photos of Tom Cruise go for millions
Naked photos of hunky Tom Cruise have been sold for a million dollars and the new buyer of them is none other than George Michael.
Read full storyNigella Lawson's breasts on the web for free - and they are hot!
Nigella Lawson, voluptuous cook, has declared that she is to put her breasts on the web for absolutely no charge - and she particularly hopes that men will take up the offer.
Read full storyZac Efron proposes to Vanessa Hudgens but...
American hearthrob, Zac Efron finally proposed to his girlfriend, Vanessa hUdgens, but the latter said she was not in the mood of marriage and she would rather concentrate on her career.
Read full storySelena Gomez Seen Kissing David Henrie Behind a Tree!
Wizards Of Waverly Place stars Selena Gomez and David Henrie were seen kissing behind a tree near a Brooklyn park.
Read full storyNaked photos of Zac Efron are sold on ebay
Naked photographs of Hollywood actor Zac Efron have been sold for one million dollars, according to the supermarket tabloid The National Scandal.
Read full storyDisney Sweetheart Vanessa Hudgens Pregnant by 19-year old Zac Efron
Did you ever think that Disney-sweetheart, Vanessa Hudgens, would ever have a baby? Well imagine it! During what was going to be a routine interview, we learned a little more than we bargained for!...
Read full storyHappy 21st birthday Maria Sharapova as Russian males ponder if Putin's new trollop Alina Kabaeva is the country's new top erotic fantasy
Moscow - (Rotters): Russia's leading tabloid has reported that in a landmark poll of 2,000 red-blooded Russian males aged 18-69 this weekend over 95% were too pissed to answer any questions coherently.
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Underwear Photo's Fakes
Hannah Montana's squeaky clean image is intact according to her father and country music legend Billy Ray. "Those photo's are not my little girl" and "They have been photo shopped by some sicko" he is reported as telling c...
Read full storyIt's ok to think Doctor Who is gay, says David Tennant's ex-boyfriend
The 36-year-old David Tennant is considered by many viewers to be the best dressed incarnation yet of Time Lord Doctor Who. Far from milking his celebrity, though, he hardly ever speaks to the press. In this rare interview, his former boyfri...
Read full storyIn Major Blunder, Obama Says Sky Is Blue
AP - In a major campaign blunder, Senator Barack Obama stated today that the sky is blue.
Read full storyNude pics of Mario Lopez circulating
Nude revealing photos of one of Hollywood's most enduring actors, San Diego born Mario Lopez, have been sold to the national B-S Review for over 1 million dollars.
Read full storyFirst Pregnant Man, Thomas Beatie, psychoanalyzed by Dr. Phil
Burbank, California - As part of his contract with Oprah (Harpo Productions), Dr. Phil has arranged to be the first and only psychiatrist to date to be afforded the opportunity to psychoanalyze the world's first pregnant man, Thomas Beatie. Condu...
Read full storyPlus Size Role Model Speaks Out Against Anorexia
Plus Size model, Jen Hunter, 25, has spoken out in an effort to deter impressionable young women from dieting to themselves to death. Jen, who at 7 stone 2 pounds (98 pounds) is classed as Plus Size in the modelling industry says that there is fa...
Read full storyDaniel And Rupert Boycott Emma Watson's Birthday Bash After She Refuses To Strip For Them
Last Saturday well known Harry Potter actress Emma Watson turned 18 and she threw a massive celeb party for herself. However both Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe didn't even bother to turn up. Something that was widely speculated about afterwar...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus takes over from Vanessa Hudgens as poster-child for corruption
Hollywood, Ca - (Cheeky Ass Mess): Vanessa Hudgens' reign as a poster-child for corruption is finally over and a new Queen Slut has taken over the throne.
Read full storyBritney sues vagina for divorce
Britney spears has issued a press release to say that she no longer wishes to be associated with her vagina.
Read full storyIranian prosecutor blames Barbie doll for Tehran police chief's descent into depravity
Tehran - (Infidel Mess): Iran's prosecutor-general has blamed a sexually explicit life-size rubber puppet once belonging to Butcher of Lyon SS-Hauptsturmführer Klaus Barbie for Tehran police chief General Reza Zarei's much publicised...
Read full storyPregnant Man on Oprah leaves Middle and High school biology teachers caught between their profession to pursue truth and political correctness in the media
Bend, Oregon - The controversy in Thomas Beatie, a transgender male claiming to be the first pregnant man has the scientific community coming under political pressure it has not experienced since the Catholic Church put Galileo Galilee under house ar...
Read full storyOprah-Michelle Obama catfight! Oprah calls Barack "my husband"; Michelle screams "Ya'll get off ma man!"
Ever since she openly endorsed Obama, Oprah has seen her popularity fizzle. First it was her angry fans - middle-aged white women - who happen to be Hillary Clinton's biggest supporters - who lashed out at her.
Read full storyTeen Starlet Miley Cyrus responds to photo scandal
LOS ANGELES, CA - Everyone knows Miley Cyrus. Your little sister, brother, maybe even your mother knows Miley, or at least her famous dad, Billy Ray. But what you may not know is Miley's dirty little secret that is floating around the net.
Read full storyThe World's Ugliest Women Competition is being held in Blackpool
This Saturday night the Grand Final of the Ugliest Women in the World Competition will mean that a record number of viewers will be glued to their Television Sets.
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Cleveland Steamer pics
In an attempt to distract the world from the risqué pictures currently circulating on the internet, Miley Cyrus has published her photographic collection of famous American boats through the ages.
Read full storySexy latinas look for love with white Americans
Latina girls are far more sexy than latino men which explains why more latina women are being woed by rich Americans who treat their ladies far better than pig headed latino men.
Read full story"Breakfast at Tiffany's" being remade in 2009
LOS ANGELES, CA - Looks like there's a new Holly Golightly in town, and her name is Lindsay Lohan. Miss Lohan was chosen out of thousands of actresses looking to star in the remake of the famous black and white film, Breakfast at Tiffany's, s...
Read full storyHarry Potter star finds his Prince Charming
Hogwarts - (Ass Mess): Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is scouring Australia's gay bars, clubs and discos after spotting a tumescent mystery hunk ogling him at an Adelaide awards ceremony recently.
Read full storyGok Wan Outed as Heterosexual
Scandal hit Channel 4 last night as camp presenter and self-professed "Makeover Queen" Gok Wan was sensationally revealed to be as straight as a die. Wan, the presumed-to-be-gay host of hit show How to Look Good Naked, admitted at a press conferen...
Read full storyOMFG! Sarah Palin's baby is a...a ...Democrat!!
Juneau, Alaska - (Bonkers Mess): Alaska's Governor Sarah Palin has been speaking about the birth of her fifth daft-named child today.
Read full storyFCC removes piss and tits from list of banned words
The US Federal Communications Commission (FCC) announced today that the words "piss" and "tits" will no longer be banned from the airwaves and radio and television stations may use them freely and without hindrance.
Read full storyHarry Potter exhibition in World Tour for ever!
A US company has teamed up with Warner Bros Studios for Harry Potter: The Exhibition.
Read full storySecret divorce talks for Charles and Camilla
Buckingham Palace - (Sordid Ass Mess): It's over. A top Palace source has confirmed today that Charles and Camilla are to divorce after a standard prenup based on promoting the Prince's heterosexuality ran aground and finally hit the rocks d...
Read full storyGok Wan Accused Of 'Munterphilia' By C4 Bosses
How To Look Good Naked host, Gok Wan, has incurred the wrath of C4 bosses when it emerged that women were being forced to show their fat, ugly bums on TV merely for the depraved sexual pleasure
Read full storyClinton's latest attack on Obama - incriminating childhood photos of him eating his favorite food: Velveeta Grilled Cheese Sandwiches on White Bread
Washington, DC - In what some political analysts are calling the most despicable sortie on Barack Obama to date (one even the Republicans would not dare launch fearing being labeled racist), someone in the Clinton campaign is suspected to have releas...
Read full storyBig Fat F**ker eats the last sausage
Stunned diners at the McWiggerdly household were left distraught after watching their 10 year old fat fucker of a son eat the last sausage in the entire house.
Read full storyGay masturbation totally different from hetero masturbation scientists say
London - (Gay Ass Mess): "We used to think that masturbation is so gay," Imperial Science Institute's Prof V Smart said today, "but now we aren't so sure."...
Read full storyLatest news on Eminem's new album
Rap superstar Eminem's new album will be scheduled to be released on August 12th, there will be collaborations with Lil Wayne, Michael Jackson, Fergie, Soulja Boy and Beyonce.
Read full storyOfficial - Scafell Pike no longer England's highest Peak
Many a climber and walker over the years have struggled up Scafell Pike in the Lake District to "bag" England's highest Peak at 978m. Well the unfortunate news is that nearby Scafell has now been measured and confirmed as the ho...
Read full storyCarmen Electra, Paris Hilton and Prince Frolic Nude at Coachella Party
THERMAL, Calif. (FMLiveWire) - - The stars got together here for a private orgy of self-indulgent naked frolicking after the smash Coachella rock concert that featured Prince.
Read full storyThe Naked Show Must Go On For Daniel Radcliffe - Even If He Has No Manly Parts Left!
Everyone knows it, and if you don't you are either illiterate or have been walking around with a paper bag on your head for the last month. Yes not content with just scaring theatre goers in London's west end for life, Daniel Radcliffe has ta...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Answers Questions on Internet Pictures
Recently, pictures purporting to be of a scantilly clad Miley Cyrus have sprung up on various sites on the internet. The shots feature a young girl in various stages of dress and show her in different styles, colors, and types of undergarments. M...
Read full storyBush Family Advertising Deal With Anheuser-Busch
Anheuser-Busch announced today that it has signed a landmark advertising deal with the Bush family, including former President George H. W. Bush (George Bush Senior), current President George W. Bush, and others. Terms of the deal were not disclosed,...
Read full storyNaked Carla Bruni pics; sold on e bay
French 1st Lady Carla Bruni's naked pictures went under auction today and fetched a whopping £94k!...
Read full storyJenna Bush to model for Victoria's Beaver
Crawford, Texas - (Hairy Ass Mess): Just weeks away from her wedding to Henry 'Hagar the Horrible' Hagar Jenna Bush has signed a lucrative modelling contract with racy lingerie boutique chain Victoria's Beaver.
Read full storyCast Announced For Hobbit Movie
Peter Jackson won many Oscars for his Lord of the Rings trilogy, but has decided not to direct the prequel. Instead, Guillermo Del Toro (Hellboy, Pan's Labyrinth) will helm this new film set in an earlier time in Middle Earth.
Read full storyMost sexy women are Latinas says movie star
Movie star Christian Bale has said he would love to co-star opposite a sexy Latina as they are the most sexiest ladies in the world!...
Read full storyHillary Clinton Sex Tape Shocker!
A sex tape featuring Presidential hopeful Hilary Clinton has surfaced on the internet.
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens seen buying Pregnancy Test
Vanessa Hudgens was seen buying the pregnancy test yesterday.
Read full storyReformation Movement Splits Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster
MOOSE JAW, SK-In a turn of events deemed inevitable by many outside observers, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, also known as the Pastafarians, has split over numerous items of contention concerning its doctrine of a beer volcano in heaven...
Read full storyGay fishing tournament up Shit Creek.
This years World Gay Fishing Final will be at held at Shit Creek, County Clare on Ireland's wet and windy west coast during the inaugural Spanish Point Gay and Lesbian Festival.
Read full storyMax Mosley's Nazi orgy totally wicked says Prince Harry
Buckingham Palace - (Lurid Ass Mess): "Grandma should give him a gong," Prince Harry laughed today as UK tabloids continued to rip into daft Nazi S&M orgy fan Max Mosley.
Read full story2008 Grand National Favourite Pulls Out Of Race In China/Tibet Protest
Today's John Smith's Grand National at Aintree is in danger of collapse after it was revealed that the favourite and his jockey have pulled out of the race, in protest at the Human Rights abu...
Read full storyArchaeologists find stunning crystal skull under Stonehenge
Salisbury Plain - (Paleolithic Mess): Archaeologists excavating Stonehenge have stumbled on what has been described as a stunning human life-sized amethyst crystal skull believed to date from circa 5,000 BC.
Read full storyGirlfriend Actually Believes No One Will See Sex Tape
Norfolk, VA Jennfer Wenk, 19, and Brad Sutter, 27, recently video taped themselves having sex with each other under the mutual agreement that it would stay private.
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Upset Due to Vanity Fair Photos
Miley Cyrus, the 15 year old star of the Hannah Montana children's series, is upset about a photo shoot of her due to appear in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair magazine. Several pictures form that session have been leaked to the press and include s...
Read full storyJolly Jolie Sex Scene
James McAvoy has confessed he found filming sex scenes with Angelina Jolie difficult.
Read full storyHannah Montana star Miley Cyrus makes drastic descision
Hannah Montana teen superstar Miley Cyrus has made a drastic decision regarding her career. Cyrus, 15, said in a press statement earlier this week that she is "tired" of her kiddy pop persona, Hannah Montana.
Read full storyWhat's that reflection in Dick Cheney's glasses? Naked woman? Space Alien? Osama Bin Laden? What the blog is it?
Snake River, Idaho - The Internet is once again a blaze with controversial pictures, only this time its not just with the standard photos of a naked woman (although that has not been ruled out). It is on fire with photos of Vice President Dick Cheney...
Read full storyShannon Matthews' Mum Arrested For Being A Slapper
Karen Matthews, the mother of little Shannon Matthews, the girl who went missing for three weeks, has herself been arrested by West Yorkshire Police in Dewsbury, and charged with being a 'slapper'
Read full storyPregnant Man, Thomas Beatie, inspires controversial new children's toy
North Pole - A small but militant band of transgender Elves have taken over Santa's Workshop up at the North Pole. They are working overtime in to help indoctrinate your children with their skewed value system instead of yours. They have come up...
Read full storyCypress Hill Ask waitresses to dance in video
Latino rappers Cypress Hill have asked 3 local waitresses to dance in their next video after meeting the girls at a diner in San Diego.
Read full storyJames Hetfield of Metallica Joins Guns N' Roses For Special Reunion Tour
Metallica rock icon James Hetfield is joining forces with Axl Rose and the Gun N' Roses guys for a special once-off reunion tour staring in Montreal on June 18t...
Read full storyTiger Woods' Secret Reverse-Lasik Surgery Revealed
Orlando- Five days after successful knee surgery, golfing champion Tiger Woods underwent reverse-Lasik surgery at an Orlando clinic and is said to be in pretty-good condition. "While his knee recovers, Tiger thought this would be a perfect time...
Read full storyClint Eastwood To Appear In Prison Break
Hollywood legend Clint Eastwood is set to make a TV appearance in popular show Prison Break.
Read full storyFrench President's Wife Strips - Wins Release of Ship Hostages
In what is being called in diplomatic circles as an unprecedented and dangerous move, French President Nicolas Sarkozy's wife, model Carla Bruni, has stripped for a pay-per-view special and given the proceeds to Somalian kidnappers in order to se...
Read full story20 Year Old Dressed As Lizard Killed By Conspiracy Theorist
USA - A 20 year old student from Germany has been brutally killed by an American conspiracy theorist from Kentucky (USA) for dressing up as a lizard in order to scare the man.
Read full storyCyber "black holes" abound
Reported from Seattle, Washington, USA, Ethan Katz-Bassett and Arvind Krishnamurthy have found and patterned "black holes" on the internet.
Read full storyMicrosoft Cancels Windows Vista
In a not-totally unexpected move, Microsoft reversed the roles of Windows Vista and XP. The spokesman for Microsoft said, "Vista is on the way out and XP is on the way in."...
Read full storyAdolf Hitler Found In Austrian Bunker
Adolf Hitler, the well-known German Chancellor and wartime tyrant, has been found alive and well with several of his closest aides, in a secret bunker under a house in the Austrian town of Amstetten, say police.
Read full storyEmma Watson Forcefully Denies Claims That She And Dan Radcliffe Are An Item
Popular actress Emma Watson, who plays Harry Potter's sidekick, Hermione Granger, in the film franchise is sick to death of fans asking if she and Daniel Radcliffe are dating/having sex/getting married/starting a family. So much so that today she...
Read full story'A good Cock these days is hard to find' laments Undertones Feargal Sharkey in Hot Press Interview.
Eighties punk singer Feargal Sharkey has lashed out at the lack of big healthy virile cocks that are available for sex at any time of the day or night in an interview with Hot Press magazine to be published later this month.
Read full storyHarry And Ginny's Wedding
It is the eve before Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley sex themed wedding and yet he is in the bed of another, that is right, Harry James Potter is in bed with Sophie his mistress of five blissful years.
Read full story2008 Grand National Betting Latest
The 2008 John Smith's Grand National gets under way at Aintree racecourse this Saturday April 5th, amid the usual controversy and kerfuffle over the safety of the horses, race-fixing and the unre...
Read full storyGrammar Correction Man Beaten To Death
Police today revealed that a 27 year old English teacher has been beaten to death by the checkout staff at a supermarket in Guildford, Surrey.
Read full storyPlanning row erupts over Jodie Marsh's boobs
PLANNING officers have recommended Jodie Marsh's new boobs be torn down after she applied for retrospective planning permission for the rack.
Read full storyYouTube's Girl Fight Club license approved by Nevada Boxing Commission
Las Vegas, Nevada - Contrary to its official policy to red flag any viral video that depicts unnecessary violence, YouTube proudly announced today that the Nevada Boxing Commission finally approved its application for an online fight club.
Read full storyDerren Brown admits he is a turd burglar
Top TV illusionist Derren Brown, 37, has stunned his many fans by revealing his secret fetish - stealing dog turds from the back gardens of his wealthy friends.
Read full storyJohn Barrowman not so gay, says buxom backstairs Lolita
'Captain Jack' John Barrowman's public image of gay pride and connubial bliss came under scrutiny yesterday amid revelations of weekend trysts with a prostitute and her enormous tits.
Read full storyHugdens and Tisdale both pregnant by Zac
A few days ago, HSM star Ashley Tisdale announced to fans that she was expecting a little girl with Zac Efron. The star told fans that she was looking forward to a relaxing pregnancy with Zac by her side. However now it looks like her pregnancy will...
Read full storyJoe Cole's Shorts too short for UEFA
Chelsea footballer Joe Cole has been hauled before football's governing body, UEFA to explain why he continues to wears extra-short shorts despite two previous warnings and a £10,000 fine.
Read full storyDaniel Radcliffe Sucks His Friends' Pricks
Harry Potter plank of wood, Daniel Radcliffe (or Pinnochio to his boyfriends) has told interviewers that he has a fondness for blood and often will suck on the pricked fingers of gardener friends whi...
Read full storyDaniel Radcliffe To Appear In Educational Sex Vid
You know the stuff, those cheesy and often dodgy videos schools make the kids watch in a desperate attempt to try to cut teenage pregnancies and the spread of STIs? Well up to now if teens wanted some, they have just gone along and had unprotected se...
Read full storySecret Marilyn Monroe film 'a fake cover for Jackie and Lyndon B Johnson'
New York - (Naked Ass Mess): The 15 minute 16mm home movie auctioned for $1.5 million today of Marilyn Monroe performing an intimate act on John F Kennedy is a fake.
Read full story2008 Flora London Marathon Shock As 'Fancy Dress Fun Runners' Are Kicked Out Of Event
The 2008 Flora London Marathon starts on Sunday in the heart of the capital, and, all being well, will finish the same day, thanks to the event's organisers who have banned slower runners from competing.
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Flips Off Nick Jonas
Miley Cyrus was shopping with her back-up dancer/bff Mandy when they saw Nick and Joe Jonas.
Read full storyHillary Loses Pennsylvania in Recount; Ron Paul Wins
Hillary Clinton suffered a stunning defeat Thursday when a recount of the Pennsylvania primary vote showed she lost by a substantial margin. While the initial count had Clinton ahead by 10 points over Barack Obama, the recount put the former first la...
Read full storySony Announces Blu-Ray Player Combo - Plays Betamax Tapes
Electronics giant Sony announced today that it will soon be selling a combination Blu-Ray and Betamax player. Now that Blu-Ray has won the high definition DVD format war, Sony is hoping to restore some credibility to Betamax while giving something ba...
Read full storyEmma Watson To Marry A Tramp
Actress Emma Watson who plays geeky Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films, has announced today that she is to marry a homeless tramp called Bob Smith. Friends and fans are concerned by Emma's sudden engagement and erg her to stop and think.
Read full storyMaddie found on T5 luggage belt
[HEATHROW: APS] Madeline McCann, the elusive toddler who has been missing since her parents misplaced her in Portugal almost a year ago, has been found by mechanics on a luggage belt at Heathrow's new Terminal 5.
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Expected to Play a Bigger Role in High School Musical 3
Hannah Montana star, Miley Cyrus, will now be expected to play a bigger role in upcoming movie High School Musical 3.
Read full storyKaren Matthews To Star In 'Shameless'
Karen Matthews, the horrible neglecter of 9-year-old missing-cum-turned-up-safe schoolgirl Shannon Matthews, is to star in the BAFTA-award winning TV drama series Shameless, according to sou...
Read full storyHarry Potter - Cross-Dressing Disaster
Information has been received from close sources that Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is in fact a cross-dresser.
Read full storyParis Hilton v Rupert Grint Cat Fight
Earlier today Paris Hilton was seen barging past security at the Harry Potter Farnham set as she hunted down ginger actor Rupert Grint.
Read full storyElton John Divorces his glasses
Elton John has divorced his glasses today, every single one of them. According to Elton, all they have brought him is pain, especially the pink starry ones.
Read full storySan Antonio Extends Statute Of Limitations for Ozzy Osbourne
In February of 1982, musician Ozzy Osbourne was arrested in San Antonio, Texas. He was wearing a dress in the downtown area and seen urinating on a statue in front of the Alamo. The monument was a shrine to the men, women, and children who died at...
Read full storyLegendary Disney hero Bambi dies at 95
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Bambi, the beloved doe-eyed forest Prince whose early life was first documented in Bambi, A Life in the Woods by author Felix Salten before being filmed by Disney Studios in 1942, died yesterday.
Read full storyDaniel Radcliffe Goes Ginger
Yesterday Daniel Radcliffe was spotted on busy London Street looking surprisingly different. No he wasn't dressed in drag. No he hasn't had plastic surgery. His hair was ginger, very ginger.
Read full story'Iron Man' Premiere Draws Major Stars, Miley Cyrus to Star in Sequel 'Iron Woman Bangs Iron Man'
NEW YORK (FMLiveWire) -- Marvel Studios' latest superhero blast Iron Man brought a bunch of superstar actors and other notables to its New York premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival on Monday night as a sequel was revealed to be in the works.
Read full storySpitzer's personal fitness trainer is Max Mosley Nazi S&M orgy madam
New York - (Lurid Ass Mess): Detectives investigating ex-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's Holy Roman Emperor VSOP hooker agency have found a link to the UK Nazi S&M orgy aficionado Max Mosely.
Read full story"Derren Brown Made me Gay" Barrymore Speaks out
After Derren Brown; stage illusionist and celebrity hypnotist, sensationally apologised to his female fan (Molly Bridges of Blackburn) for being gay, former darling of Saturday night TV and doyen of Hampstead Heath, Michael Barrymore has accused the...
Read full storyPope decries Pregnant Man's pregnancy: "Emasculate Conception!" Thomas Beatie's self-proclaimed miracle and campaign for sainthood fails
Vatican City - Today in Vatican City before the voting body of the College of Cardinals summoned by Pope Benedict XVI for a special counsel on the matter of the pregnancy of Thomas Beatie (a transgender male) being declared a miracle, the Pope sudden...
Read full storyEmma Watson denies claims she pole dances when not filming
It was reported on a top secret website just yesterday that Emma Watson's favourite hobby other than acting is pole dancing. As Juless a spoof writer spotted her leaving a club on pole dancing night in a very revealing outfit.
Read full story