New York - (Naked Ass Mess): The 15 minute 16mm home movie auctioned for $1.5 million today of Marilyn Monroe performing an intimate act on John F Kennedy is a fake.
That's the opinion of octogenarian Park Avenue oil billionaire Malek C Oppenheimer who has branded the footage 'as laughable as the Zarpudder shit.'
Oppenheimer says the film is yet another fake cover for the real hot button of the 20th century highlighting Jackie Kennedy's three year affair with Vice President Lyndon B Johnson.
"Jackie's marriage was one big fake," Oppenheimer said from his 20th floor condominium home today.
"The Camelot bullshit was Hollywood papering over the great big crack that was in betrween her ever-open CIA-owned legs."
Oppenheimer says the real dynamite footage remains in his bank vault "in case Jackie's other state-sponsored lover John McCain ever gets in the White House."
"As for Marilyn, everybody knows she was taken out by Bush Senior after threatening to out Bobby Kennedy and his pool boy lovers.
"She was ready to testify that the young Attorney General was shielding Bush to protect mafia turf contracts.
"One of Bush's CIA pals did the dirty."