London - (Gay Ass Mess): "We used to think that masturbation is so gay," Imperial Science Institute's Prof V Smart said today, "but now we aren't so sure."
Smart was addressing a London symposium charged with investigating claims that gay masturbation is a completely different activity from heterosexual masturbation after a EU think tank offered a whopping great big £25 million bursary to study the subject.
Conference delegates have signed up for a week long tossingfest after completing questionnaires specifying their gender and orientation.
Symposium after-hours activities will be videotaped and analysed by specialists in the subject drafted in for the occasion from the London Sexuality and Orientation Clinic.
The findings along with the footage may then be posted on YouBoob at a later date.