Funny story: McCain Vows to End LAFTA

McCain Vows to End LAFTA

Senator John McCain announced today that he would cancel LAFTA if elected president.
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Funny story: NWA Snipes sentenced to three years

NWA Snipes sentenced to three years

Hollywood actor Wesley Snipes has received a three year prison sentence for tax offences, but the conviction had nothing to do with the court's perception of him as a rich "uppity nigger".
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Funny story: Teachers strike to hit small industries where it hurts

Teachers strike to hit small industries where it hurts

Corduroy elbow pad manufacturer Elroy McManus told of his deep fears for the future of his company should the teacher strike continue.
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Funny story: Idiots vindicated: scientists prove that memory sucks

Idiots vindicated: scientists prove that memory sucks

According to a new study, the average idiot can keep only one or two things in their working memory or conscious mind at a time.
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Funny story: New Department for Arson announced today

New Department for Arson announced today

As councils throughout the country struggle to pay councillors expenses, send them on junkets to far flung lands, and settle huge PFI finance debts to parasitic outsourcers, a lifeline has been thrown to them by the Government with the establishment...
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Funny story: Doctor Who succumbs to dreadful ginger menace

Doctor Who succumbs to dreadful ginger menace

Everyone's favourite Gallifreyan Timelord has faced some real terrors over the years - Sontarans, Sea Devils, Daleks and CyberMen to name but a few. He's even survived the BBC losing faith and cancelling him for years, only for the good Docto...
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Funny story: Terry defends Drogba - mascot in stable condition.

Terry defends Drogba - mascot in stable condition.

John Terry has launched a strong defence of the Chelsea teams actions on Saturday which left one of the team mascots in a stable but critical condition in a west London Hospital.
View 'Terry defends Drogba - mascot in stable condition.'
Funny story: Spitzer's personal fitness trainer is Max Mosley Nazi S&M orgy madam

Spitzer's personal fitness trainer is Max Mosley Nazi S&M orgy madam

New York - (Lurid Ass Mess): Detectives investigating ex-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's Holy Roman Emperor VSOP hooker agency have found a link to the UK Nazi S&M orgy aficionado Max Mosely.
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Funny story: Rain led to Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo, triumph of Wellingtons

Rain led to Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo, triumph of Wellingtons

Almost two centuries after the Battle of Waterloo, senior French Army officers have concluded that an underestimation of the rain and mud, and dismissal of the crucial importance of the watertight Wellies worn by British and Prussian forces,...
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Funny story: "I just love to play on dirt!" Sharapova tells Letterman

"I just love to play on dirt!" Sharapova tells Letterman

New York - (Fifteen-Love Mess): Stunning leggy Russian blonde tennis ace Maria Sharapova has thrilled late night TV chatshow host David Letterman with her revelations about love of play on dirt.
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Funny story: Nutritionists Baffled By New Foodstuff

Nutritionists Baffled By New Foodstuff

CLEVELAND, Ohio (Reuters) -- Nutritionists at the American Dietetic Association have been baffled by a new foodstuff being tested at local McDonald's stores called the "McLove Muffin."...
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Funny story: McCain Says He Would Have Responded Differently to the Crash of 1929

McCain Says He Would Have Responded Differently to the Crash of 1929

Senator John McCain took direct aim at previous administrations on Thursday as he stood in the lower gallery of Wall Street Stock Exchange, the area hardest hit by the Crash of 1929, and declared that "never again will a disaster of this...
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Funny story: A Day In The Life Of A Daniel Radcliffe Stalker

A Day In The Life Of A Daniel Radcliffe Stalker

It is 6am and it is so cold I think many of my figures are going to drop off very soon. But where am I? A Bush outside Daniel Radcliffe's Fulham home of course.
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Funny story: ABBA's White House Visit to discuss new peace initiative in Israel

ABBA's White House Visit to discuss new peace initiative in Israel

The Swedish pop group ABBA today attended a meeting with President Bush to see whether they could contribute to the peace process in Israel.
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Funny story: Family of Kuntz Reunited

Family of Kuntz Reunited

A family has been reunited after the chance answering of a letter printed in an Idaho newspaper.
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Funny story: Human brain responds to Obama as it does to money and chocolate

Human brain responds to Obama as it does to money and chocolate

Scientists from the University of California - Los Angeles have found that the human brain reacts to Democratic presidential hopeful Senator Barack Obama in the same way it responds to winning money and eating chocolate.
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Funny story: McCain Forgainst the Issues

McCain Forgainst the Issues

Washington DC - Republican John Sidney McCain announced today his unalterable position "forgainst" the major issues of our times.
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Funny story: Panic at Colleges over Ramen Noodle Shortage

Panic at Colleges over Ramen Noodle Shortage

College students who live off-campus and are struggling to make ends meet while getting an education have been hit with a major crisis. There is a major ramen noodle shortage and the few available packages of ramen noodles available are selling for...
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Funny story: Jobless forced into past-life therapy

Jobless forced into past-life therapy

Long-term EU unemployed are being forced into "regression therapy" in the hope that coming to terms with past lives will help them find a job in this one.
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Funny story: Teachers Strike Sparks Nationwide Happiness!

Teachers Strike Sparks Nationwide Happiness!

A teacher's strike which could see millions of kids better off has been praised by politicians and adults the length and breadth of Britain.
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Funny story: Gok Wan Outed as Heterosexual

Gok Wan Outed as Heterosexual

Scandal hit Channel 4 last night as camp presenter and self-professed "Makeover Queen" Gok Wan was sensationally revealed to be as straight as a die. Wan, the presumed-to-be-gay host of hit show How to Look Good Naked, admitted at a press conferen...
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Funny story: Life Declared a Mental Disorder by APA

Life Declared a Mental Disorder by APA

ARLINGTON, VA - As part of an initiative to streamline patient care and make it more affordable to anyone who seeks it, the American Psychiatric Association has eliminated all but one mental disorder from its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Ment...
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Funny story: Gay masturbation totally different from hetero masturbation scientists say

Gay masturbation totally different from hetero masturbation scientists say

London - (Gay Ass Mess): "We used to think that masturbation is so gay," Imperial Science Institute's Prof V Smart said today, "but now we aren't so sure."...
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Funny story: Mexicans stealing White House blackberries Bush complains

Mexicans stealing White House blackberries Bush complains

Washington AC/DC - (Fruit-Rustling Mess): President Bush has complained to the secret service that pesky Mexicans have been stealing White House blackberries.
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Funny story: Liverpool Owners To Halve John Arne Riise's Wages Due To His One-Footedness

Liverpool Owners To Halve John Arne Riise's Wages Due To His One-Footedness

Liverpool have announced that they have made a huge salary cut from the wages of John Arne Riise, on the basis that the scary-looking, blond Norwegian is only able to kick with his left foot.
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Funny story: Texas polygamy kids 'want to become Scientologists' after Tom Cruise movie outing

Texas polygamy kids 'want to become Scientologists' after Tom Cruise movie outing

Texas - (Fundamental Mess): Over four hundred children taken into care from the Yearn For Zion polygamous nutters' ranch have demanded immediate initiation into the Church of Scientology after seeing Tom Cruise's Top Gun and...
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Funny story: Doherty tests positive

Doherty tests positive

London - (OMFG Mess): Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty has tested positive inside the nutter wing at HMP Wormwood Scrubs.
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Funny story: Report says Children are Depressed

Report says Children are Depressed

According to research carried out by BBC children's television programme, Newsround, children are depressed by modern society.
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Funny story: Bear kills Hollywood handler

Bear kills Hollywood handler

Hollywood, Ca - (Bear-Faced Cheek Mess): In a clear case of mistaken identity a grizzly bear has killed his handler after mistaking him for Semi-Pro co-star Will Ferrell.
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Funny story: Germans offer cyber-stalkers a walk-in service

Germans offer cyber-stalkers a walk-in service

Berlin - (Obsessive-Compulsive Mess): A new EU-funded stalk-in advice centre for cyberstalkers has opened in Germany after the discovery of Neo-Nazis hounding internet humor sites.
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Funny story: No airbrushing of horns or swastika tattoos in new Blair portrait

No airbrushing of horns or swastika tattoos in new Blair portrait

London - (Ass Mess): "Well the PM said to me 'Paint me as I really am, Phil, horns and swastikas and warts and all!' - and so of course I duly obliged," artist Phil Hale said today.
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Funny story: Artist wants Queen Elizabeth tribute act to drop dead in gallery

Artist wants Queen Elizabeth tribute act to drop dead in gallery

Frankfurt-am-Main - (Rotters): A German artist has promised Queen Elizabeth's relatives five trillion euro if they agree to arrange for her to spend her dying hours in his Dusseldorf art gallery.
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Funny story: Zimbabwe arms ship returns to Halliburton Beijing orifice

Zimbabwe arms ship returns to Halliburton Beijing orifice

Harare, Zimbabwe - (AssoCIAted Mess): Up to 600 tonnes of potentially lethal defective military weapons in the Aung San Suu Kyi carrier are heading back to the Halliburton Corporation's Beijing orifice.
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Funny story: Padre Pio's body sprouts breasts

Padre Pio's body sprouts breasts

Vatican - (Embalming Mess): In what has been described as a god awful embarrassment for the Vatican the exhumed body of stick martyr Padre Pio has suddenly sprouted breasts.
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Funny story: Berlin Philharmonic rattled

Berlin Philharmonic rattled

Berlin, Germany - (Tone-deaf Mess): Germany's leading national orchestra wants to dump the man credited with steering it to the top after a blazing row about Nazi tribute songs.
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Funny story: Heather Mills groomed Iran nuclear reactor program after sordid camel business

Heather Mills groomed Iran nuclear reactor program after sordid camel business

Langley, Virginia - (Lurid Ass Mess): US spooks said today that simpering peroxide dickhead Heather Mills is KGB hooker responsible for helping Iran with its nuclear program.
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Funny story: Heathrow Terror Plot Foiled By BA Cock-up

Heathrow Terror Plot Foiled By BA Cock-up

A major terrorist threat was averted earlier this morning when a number of suitcases containing high explosive failed to arrive at BA's flagship new Terminal 5 at London's Heathrow airport.
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Funny story: Conspiracy Theorists Proclaim Ass on Mars

Conspiracy Theorists Proclaim Ass on Mars

FLAGSTAFF - Mars has a face and a posterior, according to conspiracy theorists who are hailing a recent photograph from the Mars Observer as proof of an Ass on Mars.
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Funny story: Britney 'Speared.'

Britney 'Speared.'

'Ops I did it again,' said the ancient weapons specialist as he accidentally ran Britney Spears through with an ancient spear of the Rain Forest's Umbo-Womba tribe. 'I was really trying to carry out the ancient tribal ritual of removi...
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Funny story: NUTS Strike UK Schools!

NUTS Strike UK Schools!

National Union of Teachers will strike across the UK this week to protest the plight of teachers. The union purposely chose the acronym NUTS to declare the widely acknowledged fact that you have got to be NUTS to want to be a teacher.
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Funny story: Reds Can Halt Jinx at Chelsea

Reds Can Halt Jinx at Chelsea

Liverpool boss, Rafael Benitez, believes his side can overcome its poor record at Chelsea and reach the Champions League final.
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Funny story: Papa Panzer: Part Three , Divorce and Remarriage , vatican Style

Papa Panzer: Part Three , Divorce and Remarriage , vatican Style

Even after Papa Panzer, the Rottweiler of Roamin' Religion, has returned to the royal palace designed after the Bethlehem stable in which Luke's baby Gesu was born (Matthew's apparently lived in a middle class condominium), the wholly holy father, the one true pope of the one true rekligion has agreed to continue interviews with the spoof religion reporters who usually write about driv...
View 'Papa Panzer: Part Three , Divorce and Remarriage , vatican Style'
Funny story: President Bush Launches Book Writing Career Early!

President Bush Launches Book Writing Career Early!

Impressed with 'The Pet Goat,' while reading it during the horrific 9-11 attack on the World Trade Center, and fully impressed by the just-released Laura and Jenna Bush children's book (meant for 4-8 year olds), 'Read All About It,...
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Funny story: Senator John McCain wishes to have sex with model Heidi Klum; others

Senator John McCain wishes to have sex with model Heidi Klum; others

After a vigorous day of campaigning, Senator John McCain reportedly told a friend that he would enjoy having sexual intercourse with 35-year-old top model Heidi Klum. She is also the wife of the singer Seal.
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Funny story: Hillary Loses Pennsylvania in Recount; Ron Paul Wins

Hillary Loses Pennsylvania in Recount; Ron Paul Wins

Hillary Clinton suffered a stunning defeat Thursday when a recount of the Pennsylvania primary vote showed she lost by a substantial margin. While the initial count had Clinton ahead by 10 points over Barack Obama, the recount put the former first la...
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Funny story: Alexa Revises Web Traffic Rankings

Alexa Revises Web Traffic Rankings

Alexa, a prominent website that provides information on other websites, recently revised its algorithm for measuring web traffic. The site's most recognized feature is a ranking of websites by th...
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Funny story: High School Musical Remake In Works

High School Musical Remake In Works

Disney is reportedly working on a remake of the first High School Musical film. Rumors are flying fast and furious across Hollywood and the entertainment community about what form the new HSM will take, and who will be in the cast, including possibly...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Answers Questions on Internet Pictures

Miley Cyrus Answers Questions on Internet Pictures

Recently, pictures purporting to be of a scantilly clad Miley Cyrus have sprung up on various sites on the internet. The shots feature a young girl in various stages of dress and show her in different styles, colors, and types of undergarments. M...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus to Write Autobiography

Miley Cyrus to Write Autobiography

Fifteen year old Miley Cyrus, the young actress who plays Hannah Montana on the Disney Channel on cable television, has decided to record her memoirs for posterity. "Destiny Comes With Mouse Ears; The Autobiography of Miley Cyrus" will be...
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Funny story: Teenagers Select Best Places for Dates

Teenagers Select Best Places for Dates

Teenagers across the United States were ask to vote on their favorite places to take a date. The survey required them to be specific; in other words, they could not say "the mall," but had to pick a specific mall. After auditing over 128,...
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Funny story: Putin behind Chevron smears

Putin behind Chevron smears

Wall Street - (Stalinist Mess): Pea-brained Russian midget Mad Bad Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin was unmasked today as the walking trash-heap behind a series of smears against bigoil giant Chevron Corp.
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Funny story: Selena Gomez Seen Kissing David Henrie Behind a Tree!

Selena Gomez Seen Kissing David Henrie Behind a Tree!

Wizards Of Waverly Place stars Selena Gomez and David Henrie were seen kissing behind a tree near a Brooklyn park.
View 'Selena Gomez Seen Kissing David Henrie Behind a Tree!'
Funny story: Obama won't dredge up Clinton scandals, asks Spoof writers to do the honors

Obama won't dredge up Clinton scandals, asks Spoof writers to do the honors

Washington AC/DC - (Lurid Ass Mess): Barack Obama said today he will not scrape the bottom of the proverbial barrel to dredge up ancient unpublicised Clinton scandals.
View 'Obama won't dredge up Clinton scandals, asks Spoof writers to do the honors'
Funny story: PA primary win takes Clinton one step closer to holding Bible for McCain

PA primary win takes Clinton one step closer to holding Bible for McCain

PHILADELPHIA - Senator Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign picked up a much-needed victory in the Pennsylvania Democratic primary last night. Clinton topped rival Barack Obama, claiming 55% of the popular vote to Obama's 45%, gaining 80...
View 'PA primary win takes Clinton one step closer to holding Bible for McCain'
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