Written by Sophie Jayne
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Friday, 18 April 2008

image for Emma Watson Forcefully Denies Claims That She And Dan Radcliffe Are An Item
The thought of Daniel disgust Emma.

Popular actress Emma Watson, who plays Harry Potter's sidekick, Hermione Granger, in the film franchise is sick to death of fans asking if she and Daniel Radcliffe are dating/having sex/getting married/starting a family. So much so that today she strongly set the record straight.

"Daniel and I have never and will never be romantically attached to one another. I would never allow his dirty hands to touch me in that way and I am disgusted that any fans would ever think that he is good enough for me." She screamed. "I have never liked him ever since we met when I was 10 and he laughed at me for having no boobs. Anyhow I believe he is engaged to some slutty nobody called Sophie Jayne or something, well she is welcome to him!" and with that she lit up a fag and stormed off.

"I am happily engaged." Daniel Radcliffe told us. "But that is a little harsh. In my defence she is kind of flat chested even now, I think she is a lessie, must be if she doesn't fancy me!"

Emma refused to comment if she was indeed attracted to other woman or if she is seeing someone at the moment so we were swayed toward thinking that she is in fact homosexual. Bad luck boys!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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