Written by Robert W. Armijo
Print this

Friday, 4 April 2008

image for Pregnant Man on Oprah leaves Middle and High school biology teachers caught between their profession to pursue truth and political correctness in the media
Superman, Thomas Beatie, has the best of both worlds -- in her mind

Bend, Oregon - The controversy in Thomas Beatie, a transgender male claiming to be the first pregnant man has the scientific community coming under political pressure it has not experienced since the Catholic Church put Galileo Galilee under house arrest for contradicting Aristotle's claim that the Sun was flawless. Yet the mainstream media, whether its due to having a slow news day, jumping on the political correctness bandwagon or simply showing its contempt for the intelligence of its captive audience, continues to do a disservice of misinforming the general public on the topic.

Middle and high school science teachers everywhere are left to face the gauntlet. Caught in the crossfire of having to appease their local liberal school board guidelines on gender tolerance, or stay the course of their chosen profession telling the truth and thereby risk losing it.

The truth is that despite Thomas Beatie personal claim that she is the first pregnant man, she still lacks one fundamental thing that makes a world of difference in what defines a man and a woman. No not that, something even smaller: a Y-chromosome.

"I'm speaking purely biologically now, not politically," said Margaret Hammerhand, a Middle School biology teacher. "Thomas Beatie, although having undergone extensive reconstructive surgery, massive doses of testosterone and psychological counseling to prepare her to be a man by wearing men's clothing for a year before the sex change operation, she still has double XX-chromosomes. To put it simply, Thomas Beatie lacks a Y-chromosome that would, still biologically speaking now, make her a man. That is if truth still matters now days."

Hammerhand says that many of her students have already approached her asking her how it is possible that a man can get pregnant but due to her school board's policy on sexual orientation, her hands are tied. So, she is forced to repeat to them what they have already been incorrectly taught by the media.

"Sadly, I can't even make a biological lesson out of all this for fear the truth will result in my immediate termination on the alleged grounds of sexual orientation intolerance," said Hammerhand. "But the real losers are the students, because they believe what they hear in the media. Not what I can teach them in my biology course, if I was allowed."

Hammerhand believes that despite the good intentions of the transgender community, or their allies in the media, to forward their struggle for equality and gain acceptance in the general population that their efforts will ultimately backfire on them, opening them up for well deserved criticism.

"Truth should not be sacrificed in order to achieve a political goal," said Hammerhand. "Haven't we learned that lesson yet?"

Make Robert W. Armijo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 4?

2 10 9 20
41 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more