Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 28 April 2008

image for Adolf Hitler Found In Austrian Bunker
He hasn't changed a bit!

Adolf Hitler, the well-known German Chancellor and wartime tyrant, has been found alive and well with several of his closest aides, in a secret bunker under a house in the Austrian town of Amstetten, say police.

Hitler, originally from Braunau am Inn, was discovered last week after a party to celebrate his 119th birthday got out of hand, and neighbours alerted the authorities, who immediately called in the army.

It had been thought that the despot, responsible for the deaths of more than 6million Jews during the War, had died in Berlin in a fire in 1945, but those charred remains have never been positively identified, and police now think that he must have made an incredible escape to his homeland as the Russian tanks bore down on his Fuhrerbunker.

Army experts who went into the bunker say that, on first inspection, it seems Hitler and his close circle have been living there quite happily since 1945, without bothering the residents of this largely upper class town.

Led away with Mr Hitler, were his mistress Eva Braun, who looked severely jaded, Martin Boorman, now 115, Field Marshal Hans von Crippler, and the dictator's most trusted companion General Blondi, the Reichsdog.

Neighbour Ingrid Schnauzer, 94, told reporters:

"I've seen several military-looking men returning from the shops with groceries over the years, but they've been no bother at all."

Another resident, Axel von Strumpf, 80, who, as a member of the Hitler Youth, fought on the Eastern Front in 1942, said:

"Mein Fuhrer! It voz him! Zay ver all in zer uniforms! He hasn't changed a bit!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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