There were 5,626 spoof news stories published in 2013. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse the spoof news archives.
Chicharito Says He'll Probably Give Up Soccer and Move To America If His Girlfriend Cheryl Cole Gets The X-Factor Job
LOS ANGELES - Cheryl Cole has made it perfectly clear that her number one priority right now is to do whatever it takes to get that coveted judge's slot on Simon Cowell's X-Factor. Cheryl has said that she has never been happier than she is now th...
Read full storyThe Women of Duck Dynasty To Appear In A Nude Calendar
CHICAGO - Mrs. Phil Robertson AKA Miss Kay has just announced that Willie's wife Korie and Jase's wife Missy have agreed to appear in a 2014 calendar to be named The Women of Duck Dynasty. Kay said that Jeptha's wife Jessica, who is a model, will...
Read full storyLeBron James of The Miami Heat Responds To The Gay Rumors
MIAMI - LeBron James was asked about the recent gay rumors that have just surfaced regarding him. He explained to Hercules Confetti with Sporting Chance Magazine that he and his fiancée were both shocked beyond belief when the rumor first surfaced...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Says She's Never Ever Gonna Stop Writing Songs About Her Ex-Boyfriends
BOISE, Idaho - Taylor Swift was a big hit with the concert goers at her latest performance which took place in The Mashed Potatoes Arena in Boise. The young 23-year-old country singer performed six encores and told the crowd that she thanked them...
Read full storyPope Hated to Leave Behind His Red Shoes and Their Magical Powers
According to our exclusive Vatican sources, the Pope had no problem at all leaving the Vatican and the Papacy. The real issue? Having to leave behind his red shoes. You see, those glorious red shoes had provided the Pontiff with special powers...
Read full storyMy Cellphone's Demand: "I Want a Selfie"
Sam, my cellphone, hadn't been working well lately, and now I know why. Blurred photos and bad connections had become routine. I complained about this in a phone call to my friend the other day. A few minutes later, I got a text message FROM my cellphone. Yep, you read that right. All text messages go through the cellphone of course, but this one was FROM Sam, my cellphone. Here's what...
Read full storyRoman Abramovich 'too broke' to afford spectacular $143million Francis Bacon triptych
New York - Big Apple auctioneers were tutting with disbelief tonight at a Brit tabloid's best guess naming Russian mobster Roman Abramovich as the new owner of the $143million Francis Bacon triptych entitled 'Three Studies of Lucian Fraud'. The 19...
Read full story"You Talk Too Much," Babies Tell Parents
The trouble began when a scientific study was released suggesting that it's very educational for babies to have their parents talk to them a lot. Too many parents have taken the advice to heart, constantly yakking away at their babies and giving...
Read full storyJennifer Lopez Addresses The Butt Reduction Skuttlebutt
NEW YORK CITY - J.Lo is used to hearing all kinds of rumors about just about every part of her body. She recently sat down with Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors at a Pompous Pizza Parlor and talked about the fact that there is never a shortage of rumor...
Read full storyThe List of 10 Rejected Country Music Band Names
Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine's Buck Yazoo stated that the world of country music has always been known for having colorfully traditional band names. He pointed out that some of these band names include Rascal Flatts, The Pirates of The Mississippi, Asleep At The Wheel, The Pistol Annies, and the legendary iconic band Bob Wills & The Texas Playboys. Buck said that back when he was attending Sol...
Read full storyThe GOP to Split into Three
At a strategy meeting in Boston by the Republican National Committee last week, Reince Preibus, the RNC Chairman, announced that the GOP, in acknowledging the political reality facing the splintered party, will split into three. The Republican brand...
Read full storyAlexander Graham Bell Recording Shocks at the Smithsonian
Researchers at the Smithsonian Institute revealed a startling find this week. After a long struggle, they had finally cracked the code and now had the ability to access an 1885 message left on a wax disc by Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the tele...
Read full storyBusted! Twitter Birdies Accused of Insider Trading
Three twitter birdies are accused of making a bundle by breaking the law. As Twitter plans its first public offering of stock, the three birds are accused of tweeting inside financial information to a few traders willing to pay for it. Law enfo...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Promises Blake Griffin He'll Get Out of The Fast Lane
VENICE BEACH - Justin Bieber was recently seen shopping for a Blake Griffin, Los Angeles Clippers Jersey at Seashell Sal's Sporting Stuff Shop. Bieber has been a fan of the 6-foot-10-inch NBA player ever since he heard him mention on The View that...
Read full storyNew Gun Control Ideas Are 'Run Up the Flagpole'
Washington DC -- The presidential task force to control gun violence is floating several ideas through the national media to get public reaction before it releases its final report. Panel head Vice President Joe Biden put it this way: "Before we g...
Read full storyA List of Celebrities Who Have Already Broken Their 2013 New Year's Resolutions
Noted author Edgar Allan Poe once said that rules are made to be broken. And he should know since he had a history of breaking all kinds of rules, regulations, guidelines, and basic metaphorical musings. Poe, whose real name was Bernardo Chang Poetic, once told a reporter with the Milwaukee Morning Mentioner, that he loved the word photosynthesis, and he tried to incorporate it into everything...
Read full storyA Delaware Woman Arrested For Flying A Drone Over The White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Kay Duffgrumble, 62, of Smyrna, Delaware went to Washington, D.C. to check out the various landmarks and she ended up in a heap of trouble as they say down in Mississippi. Mrs. Duffgrumble, who was divorced in March of this year...
Read full storyTwitter Birdies Channel Elvis As They Twerk Instead of Tweet
Having problems lately with timely delivery of your tweets? You're not alone. Gail Farrelly, a science & technology reporter at TheSpoof.com, has found out that the Twitter birdies, wanting to thumb their beaks at management for labor compl...
Read full storyNebraska Groups Move To Ban Internet Porn
LINCOLN, Nebraska - There is presently a movement in the state of Nebraska to prevent the state's residents from viewing porn on the thousands and thousands of Internet porn sites. Several groups are advocating the banning of these vulgarian sites...
Read full storyMcDonald's to Offer a "Loaves and Fishes" Special
McDonald's executives went into action as soon they read the story (see it here) on the announcement by archaeologists that they may have found in Israel the original site of the "loaves and fishes" miracle. (You'll recall the Bible story that thous...
Read full storyJane Austen Visits Bookstore in NYC's Grand Central Terminal
Furious upon learning that her likeness would appear on 10-pound Bank of England notes, Ms. Austen determined she would take action to express her displeasure. "Kinda cheap," Jane reportedly complained, spreading the word that she had expected...
Read full storySanta's Workshop to Be a Public Corporation; Elves Furious
Everybody's doin' it. Going public, that is. It's the rage these days. So Santa Claus figured: why not? Within the next two weeks, there'll be an IPO (initial public offering) of stock in Santa's workshop. Santa's elves are furious. They...
Read full storyMona Lisa Begs: Let Go, Lego
At a packed press conference in NYC's Grand Central Station last night, Mona Lisa (yep, the one who's the subject of Leonardo da Vinci's famous 1503 painting) told the world of her outrage to find out that someone had made a Lego likeness of her famo...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Admits She Has A New Intimate Tattoo
VENICE BEACH - Cheryl Cole plans to meet with Simon Cowell about possibly filling Britney Spears judges seat on X-Factor. The British singer had lunch with lookalike friend Selena Gomez at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Diner in Venice Beach.
Read full storyTalking Robot Launched Into Space Yaks Up A Storm
In theory it sounded great. Build a talking robot (name = Kirobo) to keep a Japanese astronaut company on the International Space Station. Read about it here on BBC News . But onlookers aren't sure things will work out as planned. The problem? K...
Read full storyRed Panda Explains Timeout from the National Zoo
On Monday morning when Rusty, the red panda (he looks sort of like a raccoon) was reported missing, many assumed that he was displeased with his accommodations at the National Zoo in Wash., DC. Not so. To counteract the incorrect assumption, once Rusty was returned to the zoo later in the day, he contacted a reporter at TheSpoof.com, Gail Farrelly (she's an expert in panda parlance), to...
Read full storyNew York Bookstore Angers Christians By Placing Bible In Fiction Department
A New York bookstore owner has angered customers by placing top selling book 'The Bible' in the fiction section of his store. Simon Hargreaves, 45, claims that the placement of the book in the fiction department was a mistake and has apologized to...
Read full storyA List of Some License Plate Slogans For 2013
The United States Commission on State License Plate Slogan Approval has just announced a list of ten brand new automotive license plate slogans for 2013. Winnie Leona "Tags" Tagliobissi, the commission's executive director, informed the news media that, unlike previous years, none of the submitted slogans were rejected due to either vulgarity, racism, use of foreign words, or improper grammar.
Read full storyPorpoise Switches His Tracking Device to Randy Researcher
After caring for an ailing porpoise for six months, researchers in Long Island recently released Noodle (yep, that's his name) back to the ocean, but not before they tagged him with a tracking device so that they can follow him and report his whereab...
Read full storyMice Furious about Forced Participation in Hair Growth Study
When Gail Farrelly, Science & Technology reporter at The Spoof.com, read a Bloomberg.com article, "Mouse Study May Target Hair Growth Method for Baldness," she knew she had found the subjects for her next in-depth profile. The first sentence...
Read full storyBlobfish Elated to Win "Ugliest" Competition
The results are in. According to an article on the BBC website, the blobfish has earned the unofficial title of "world's ugliest animal." Read the article and see a photo (but not on a full stomach) here. Others have chosen to interview Miss Ame...
Read full storyTwitter Birdies Hate Working for a Public Company
Lots of folks are ecstatic that Twitter is now a publicly traded company. But not the Twitter birdies! Word is that they were much happier when the company was a private one, filled with relaxed-looking workers in jeans and T shirts. Now, for...
Read full storyNASA Sued by Bachelor Rat on Mars
As soon as the news surfaced that a rat (of the rodent, not human, variety) had been photographed on Mars, Science and Technology reporter Gail Farrelly at The Spoof.com knew she had to be the first to interview him. "Thank goodness for Skype," Farr...
Read full storyChicharito Says Cheryl Cole Has The Sexiest Body He Has Ever Seen
LOS ANGELES - Chicharito, who is a native of Mexico, was in L.A. visiting his girlfriend Cheryl Cole. Cole was meeting with the entertainment mogul Simon Cowell about the possibility of her taking the place of Britney Spears at the X-Factor judges...
Read full storyA 7-Foot-10-Inch Tall High School Sophomore Scores 193 Points In a Basketball Game
CHEYENNE, Wyoming - The Johnny Appleseed Fighting Applepickers defeated their crosstown district rivals The Mary Todd Lincoln High School Vultures by a score of 203-47. The halftime score in Cheyenne's Buffalo Stampede Arena was Appleseed 181 - Li...
Read full storyCan Wearing Feathers Help to Attract the Opposite Sex?
Hey, it worked for burlesque queens. Even more surprising, though, apparently it also worked for dinosaurs, according to recent scientific research. And as soon as these findings regarding dinosaurs were released, there were lots of interesti...
Read full storyColorado Bear Gripes About Bad Experience in Local Bar
When the bear visited the bar in question (see "Bear Walks Into A Bar: 300-Pound Colorado Black Bear Eludes Patrons" in the International Business Times), he didn't receive much of a welcome. In fact, there was no welcome at all! In an exclusiv...
Read full storyJay Leno Addresses The Divorce Rumors
BURBANK - Jay Leno has not exactly been himself lately. And who can blame him since he knows that he is being unceremoniously dumped by the suits at the Peacock Network. Leno has become very good at hiding his true feelings, but his hair stylist F...
Read full storyNASA's Robotic Explorer LADEE Is Not a Happy Camper
You might think he'd be over the moon about heading to the moon (read about the mission here). He's not. He likes the publicity. But he hates his name. Gail Farrelly, a Science & Technology reporter at TheSpoof.com, spoke to LADEE befor...
Read full storyTartan Paint is finally invented
It's been a well-known practical joke for years now, someone is asked to fetch a list of products which don't exist and they fall for it because in the spur of the moment the items sound quite believable. Examples of products people might be asked fo...
Read full storyBOY Pandas Think Pink, Turn Out To Be GIRLS
"Thank Heaven for Little Girls," Maurice Chevalier sang in the background recently when it was announced at Zoo Atlanta that the panda twins born in July, once thought to be male, are female. Blimey! As reported in Oh, boy! Atlanta zoo finds ou...
Read full storyMoon Signs Up for Cosmetic Makeover
It happened when the moon read the following (in an article, NASA's GRAIL Mission helps Scientists Figure Out Moon's Rough and Stony Look, at the FrenchTribune.com): "Scientists have now understood the reasons behind the moon's rough and stony look.
Read full storyBone Idol Garbage Collectors Chastised By Senior
Frank Walker is furious. He claims he is "sick to death" of lazy garbage collectors who pick up his trash from the residential care home where he has resided for the last 5 years. So furious is Frank that he has organized a protest of what he call...
Read full storyIrate Gorilla Evicted from Dallas Zoo: First Interview
In case you keep in touch with the 23-year-old gorilla, Patrick, formerly of the Dallas Zoo, be advised that you should record a change of address. He's moving to South Carolina. Gail Farrelly, a Science & Technology reporter at TheSpoof.co...
Read full storyKansas Tiger Found in Circus Restroom: First Interview
A Spoof reporter skilled in tiger talk dug up the story behind the story. The tiger has no idea why everyone was so excited. "Good grief, I just went in to take care of business; isn't that what everyone goes to the restroom for?" the tiger...
Read full storyIf you Have a Food Allergy, Tell Your Server...Or Not
Whenever I see the universal sign about food allergies in a restaurant, I'm tempted to add the words "Or Not." You see, here's the thing. When you tell the server, you tell everyone else within hearing distance. And that may not be smart. What if a disgruntled neighbor is sitting nearby? A neighbor who feels you crossed her property line many times without permission while you worked on y...
Read full storyA Six-Year-Old Georgia Girl Predicts The Winners of NBA Basketball Games 99% of The Time
SAVANNAH, Georgia - Little six-year-old Savannah Stubenberger, who was named after her grandmother Savannah Bacardi, has become one of the town of Savannah's most famous residents. Little Savannah, who attends Mrs. Robert E. Lee Elementary School,...
Read full storyTwitter Birdies Take Over Word TWEET, Real Birds Furious
The "takeover" is a done deal. And "real" birds (y'know the kind that chirp outside your window and poop on the windshield of your car) are all aflutter. As reported by a reporter who understands bird talk and listened in on their conversation,...
Read full storyRiots Hit Paris as France Bans English Pop Music
In recent years it seems that the august body l'Académie française which regulates the French language by approving new words and grammar is there just to prevent the French populace from communicating with the rest of the world, which speaks English...
Read full storyColorado Opens Up Hundreds of Pot Parks
DENVER - A new meaning has just been given to the old John Denver song "Rocky Mountain High." Since the state's voters voted to make marijuana legal, literally tens of thousands of young people have moved to The Rocky Mountain State from such plac...
Read full storyIowa May Legalize Marijuana
DES MOINES - The state of Iowa is seriously considering the legalization of marijuana, or pot as Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, and Willie Nelson refer to it. A state senator who did not want his name revealed for safety reasons stated that it is no...
Read full storyA Minnesota Man Invents A Helicopter That Runs On A Mixture Of Tap Water And Dandelion Weeds
DULUTH, Minnesota - Ezra P. Crackerbee, 73, has always liked to tinker around his garage in Duluth. One day last week as he was putting away some gardening tools he noticed that one of the hoes had some shreds of dandelion weed on the blade. A...
Read full storyPETA Furious About Iran Launching A Monkey Into Outer Space
NORFOLK, Virginia - There are an awful lot of unhappy folks at the organization known as PETA, which stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. The group's Executive Director Mimosa Ledbetter sent an email to the Iranian Assistant Def...
Read full storyNASA Announces GO BLUE Initiative
If you think this has to do with the University of Michigan, think again. No way! Instead, the GO BLUE Initiative involves NASA's doing just about everything possible to foster the natural "blueness" of a very special planet, HD 189733b. (Read...
Read full storyEdward Snowden Verifies That He Is Dating Vladimir Putin's Niece
NEW YORK CITY - American NSA whistleblower and now resident of Russia, Edward Snowden stated to Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich that he is thrilled with having been granted asylum in Russia. He also added that he loves his new job as dire...
Read full storyO.J. Simpson To Be Released From Prison
LAS VEGAS - Many people were shocked to learn that O.J. Simpson, who was sentenced to serve 33 years in prison, could be released by Labor Day. A spokesperson for Nevada's Lovelock Correctional Center stated that Simpson, who has ballooned up to 3...
Read full storyA List of 10 Really Weird Things
Zydeco Dupree is a stand up comedian and free-lance reporter with The iRumors News Agency. His sister Voodoo Dupree is a senior writer for Glamboyant Magazine who has interviewed such well known celebrities as Britney Spears, Michelle Obama, Simon Cowell, Ke$ha, and Honey Boo Boo. Zydeco, who was born and raised in Louisiana, is a fan of all kinds of trivia and has just published his third b...
Read full storyDumpster Diving Is New Way to Get an Emmy Award
Folks in the television industry now recommend this as the BEST way to capture that award. They discovered this after reading an article in the New York Post: Worker Snags an Emmy ... that he found in trash. Forget arm twisting, lobbying, spending tons of money to "buy" votes. Not worth it, those in the know say. After interviewing approximately 100 dumpster divers for Emmys on the st...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Fires Off 3 Missiles - All 3 Land In A North Korean Rice Paddy
PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korean leader Kim Jong Un AKA Butterball Boy, arrogant as ever has announced that he launched three missiles from a launching pad in Pyongyang. Chung Duck Ho, the spokesman for North Korea's Rice Paddy Whack National...
Read full storyBig Brother Is Watching Too Much, Way Too Much
He's seen it all, and he's sick of it. The beleaguered watchdog is having trouble keeping up with the amount of work he's been assigned and admits it may be time for him to quit his spying job. The number of folks he's supposed to keep track of...
Read full storyChimps Demand Retirement Party
It happened as soon as the National Institutes of Health announced this week that "...310 chimps will be retiring from medical research over the next few years..." One of the chimps said, "Throwing us a party, it's the least they can do, we've put in our time." And the chimps weren't at all shy about exactly what kind of a party it should be. Here are a few of the things they demanded: --...
Read full storyNY State Unemployment Benefits Collected by Dead People
It's the gift that keeps on giving. Even after death. Word is that officials will be trying to get the money back. Huh? Retrieval from The Great Beyond? Lotsa luck with that one! This situation intrigued reporter Gail Farrelly, so she went to a NYS unemployment benefits office and interviewed applicants waiting in line to see what they thought of this news. Here's what some of them s...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Deny The Baby Rumors
BEVERLY HILLS - The stars of The Vampire Diaries, Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder, were recently spotted in the trendy Rodeo Drive baby store Baby Rattles, Playpens, & Stuff giving way to speculation that Dobrev is with child. The supermarket...
Read full storyFart Farm advocate accused of fudging data---threatens Fart Wars
The Raleigh News & Observer clamed in a front page editorial this morning that Senator T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg had "fudged the data" in claiming that his proposed Fart Farms could solve the state's energy problems. "This is not the first time...
Read full storySyria cheating with steroids, say UN inspectors
Damascus -- The chemical warfare situation in Syria took an unexpected turn yesterday, when a team of UN inspectors discovered that the war-torn nation is using steroids and other Performance Enhancing Drugs (PEDs) to fortify its army. "Clearly,...
Read full storyA List of 10 Trivia Facts From Walt Disney's Blockbuster "Frozen"
HOLLYWOOD - The Disney animated musical Frozen is giving Hunger Games a run for its money. Frozen took in an amazing $90 million in just the first five days it was out. It has already become the #1 movie in Pocatello, Idaho; Apalachicola, Florida; Kalamazoo, Michigan; Lafayette, Louisiana; and Sheboyan, Wisconsin. Reports coming out of Europe are that Barcelona, Spain has had over $200,00...
Read full storyBritain's Double Decker Buses To Be Replaced
LONDON - Britain's Bus Bureau, known as the BBB, has just announced that it is in the process of starting to eliminate all double decker buses. Reginald F. Quibbenshire, a spokesperson for BBB stated that since the numbers of people riding public...
Read full storyEntire Minor League Baseball Team Suspended!
DULUTH, Minnesota - The commissioner of Minor League Baseball, Montague Bottlebiffer has just issued a three-game suspension for the entire Duluth Doodlebugs baseball team. Commissioner Bottlebiffer stated that it was brought to his attention that...
Read full storyTwo North Korean Pole Dancers Admit They Were Planning on Kidnapping Kim Jong Un
NEW YORK CITY - The American Spotlight News Agency is reporting that a plot to kidnap North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has been foiled. The New York City based news agency stated that one of its North Korean correspondents identified as Foo "Timmy"...
Read full storyObama Administration to Establish New Department of Truth
In view of the recent scandals and persistent questions from the press and Republicans demanding that the White House explain variations in its responses on a host of so-called scandals - from Benghazi to the wiretapping of Associated Press reporters...
Read full storyAstronomers Say Orion's Belt On Last Hole--Obesity Epidemic Blamed
Orion's Belt, part of the constellation Orion, has expanded to the point that it's down to its final belt hole, a renowned scientist said today. Dr. Huang O'Flaherty, addressing the International Astronomical Union, told attendees, "Good morning...
Read full storyIan Somerhalder Denies That Nina Dobrev Has Had A Boob Job
BROOKLYN - One-half of the happiest celebrity couple in all of LaLaLand Ian Somerhalder was in Brooklyn visiting an old friend. Somerhalder who stars as Damon Salvatore on the hit cable show The Vampire Diaries along with Nina Dobrev and Paul Wesl...
Read full storyPrince Philip Cracks Filipino Nurse Joke - Makes Her Cry
Britain's Duke of Edinburgh asked a Filipino nurse "What do you call a Filipino nurse walking a dog? A vegetarian!" resulting in the woman breaking down in tears. He made the remark during a visit to Luton and Dunstable Hospital, near London, wh...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Wins 8 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS - Millions of viewers watched as Taylor Swift cleaned up at the Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Sin City, USA. Taylor won a total of 8 awards including Top Female Artist, Top Country Artist, Top Country Album, Top...
Read full storyA 16-Year-Old Shreveport, Louisiana High School Pitcher's Fastball Is Clocked at 109 MPH!
SHREVEPORT, Louisiana - A student at Stonewall Jackson High School in Shreveport is getting some nationwide notoriety. Corey Buttonbox, a 16-year-old sophomore who plays for the Stonewall Jackson Gators, has had his fastball repeatedly clocked at...
Read full storyRuling Authority announces first congressional draft
In its first pick in the new congressional draft, the Ruling Authority selected Arnold Sayers of New Ipswitch, Maine. The thirty-eight year old plumber was dragged kicking and screaming from his home to replace Senator Jeff Sessions of Alabama, also...
Read full storyAmericant Airlines doesn't want you in the cabin
Spokesman Ann T. Sociale of Americant Airlines revealed a new price structure for domestic flights. The move is thought by staff here to be in response to a recent policy shift by another well known airline favoring passengers that do not bring bags...
Read full storyMadonna Cannot Stand Nicki Minaj and Says She Belongs In The Circus
BROOKLYN - Madonna was leaving The Salvatore Goombalini General Hospital after having had an ingrown hair removed from her upper lip. As she walked out the front door she was asked by Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk what she thought abo...
Read full storySaddam Hussain Ghost Ride the top attraction in Zimbabwe's forthcoming 'Disneyland in Africa'
Africa - A hologram of Saddam plunging headlong over Victoria Falls inside a barrel of sweet light crude is one of President Robert Mugabe's personal favorites to top the bill in Zimbabwe's forthcoming US$300m theme park. The project sees hundreds...
Read full storyLow Approval Numbers Force the Tea Party to Change Its Brand
Washington, DC - Registering approval ratings as low as 22% in recent polls, the United States Tea Party would rather fright than quit. The reactionary wing of the GOP is changing its name from the Tea Party to the Costume Party. "Voters love us,...
Read full storyBenghazi - Space Aliens Admit Dropping Obama Brain
WASHINGTON, DC - On the afternoon of September 11, 2012, the White House began pre-party warmups, unaware of an impending attack in Benghazi, Libya. Young staffers, election strategists, and political aides walked through the halls, pointing at each...
Read full storyNew York Mets put the entire team on the Disabled List
Flushing, New York -- With their superstar pitcher going down with a serious elbow ailment, the New York Mets have placed every one of its players on the 365 day Disabled List, essentially shutting down the team until further notice. General mana...
Read full storyAmerican Idol's Mariah Carey Blames Nicki Minaj For The Lip Syncing Rumor
HOLLYWOOD - It is no secret that there is no love lost between American Idol female judges Mariah "The Diva" Carey and Nicki "The Circus Clown" Minaj. But Carey is fuming at the charges by some American Idol viewers who have tweeted that she was l...
Read full storyMossad joins Indian NCIS probe into Mumbai submarine blast
Mumbai - Banned on Vladimir Putin's orders from meddling - uh...contributing! - in an investigation into the sudden, unexplained destruction of Russia's flagship submarine the Kursk in August 2000 Mossad's forensic naval intelligence team has arrived...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Buys The Biggest Bong In Existence
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - According to iRumors, Miley Cyrus is one of the biggest drug memorabilia collectors on the entire Left Coast. A close friend of Miley's said that she has a roach clip collection that rivals even the extensive collection of 80-yea...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Explains The Pot Photo: I Was Just Holding It For A Friend
HOLLYWOOD - Many of Tinsel Town's entertaiment publications and news agencies are beginning to refer to Justin Bieber as the Male Version of Lindsay Lohan. The 18-year-old Canadian singer has apparently decided that he would much rather travel in...
Read full storyAtos canonised by the Catholic Church
Atos, the French company that has been charged by the Department for Work And Pensions to determine the disability payments for the people of the UK will be canonised by the Catholic church after a criticism from leader of the opposition, Ed Milliban...
Read full storySuicide bombers breastfeeding their babies liquid semtex
Virginia - The CIA has backed British reports claiming explosive breasts implants are threatening global security after pictures of foreign women's flame-thrower nipple-guards and related maternity bra stuff were posted on the YouBoob! network. Ag...
Read full storySchool District Hires Porn Stars to Teach Sex Ed Classes
(Corry, PA) - In what will be known as one of the most progressive decisions in academic history, the members of the Corry Area School District of Erie County Pennsylvania have voted to allow porn stars, Raven Gavina and Brock Lancer, to join their f...
Read full storyDwight Howard Said He May Leave The Lakers And Sign With The Cleveland Cavaliers
LOS ANGELES - Dwight Howard spoke with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily and said that he has dribbled his last ball as a Los Angeles Laker. Howard told Rufus Reno with SBID that he just cannot take another year of playing for the Laker Day Care Cent...
Read full storyUS spy industry disguises intelligence with stupidity
Washington, DC -- From dropping the ball on 9/11 to identifying non-existent weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, America's intelligence industry seems forever to be on the losing side. The most recent publicly documented failure: allowing a freel...
Read full storyBoehner Steps Down as House Majority Leader; Appoints Wife's Toy Poodle in His Stead
WASHINGTON, D.C.--After tweeting, "Fuck it! My wife's toy poodle could get more done with these guys than I can!", the besieged Speaker of the House stepped down on Friday to allow his wife's toy poodle, Knuckles, to take over as Majority Leader.
Read full storyRemains of Dolomites Mastiff discovered in 'Mona Lisa' tomb
Florence, Italy - "Whoever this woman was she was a dog alright," pit digger Guido Mortadella at the Martyr's Crypt at the Church of Santissima Annunziata told reporters today as news of the forensic breakthrough went viral. Weeks of painstaking e...
Read full storyThe Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Are Told By Owner Jerry Jones That They Better Watch Their Figures
DALLAS - The man who owns the Dallas Cowboys has informed the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders that he will not put up with any muffin tops, untoned thighs, or non-nubile breasts. Jones met with all of the cheerleaders in the conference room of an Ench...
Read full storyMan In Des Moines Wants To Marry Goat
The issue of gay marriage is a very hot topic right now with two, and only two, sides to the argument. One side says homosexuals should be allowed to marry, while the other side says it's repulsive and will lead to people marrying animals just becaus...
Read full storyUtah Says Anyone Caught Exhibiting A Tramp Stamp Will Be Fined
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah - Sixty-two percent of the citizens of Utah are Mormons. According to a recent survey taken by The Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company, 61.9 percent of those individuals are extremely dedicated to their religion. Mormons...
Read full storyA-Rod's Agent, PR Firm Suggest Pretending He's Gay-Rod As Next Career Move
Worried about their client's future marketability, Alex Rodridguez's agent and public relations firm are telling the baseball star to pretend he's gay and come out to the sports world. Future endorsement deals with gay cruise lines, Antique World Ma...
Read full storyLAPD teletype gets message from Australia
LAPD Communications Division workers in the Teletype department today got a shock when an unused teletype started printing 'WRU' - the code for 'Who and Where are you?' They traced the line back to Queensland, Australia, but not before the teletyp...
Read full storyAndy Dick Infatuated With Katy Perry's Boobs
LA BREA - One of Hollywood's newest and most unlikeliest couples Katy Perry and Andy Dick were spotted having dinner at the world famous La Brea Tar Pits Diner. Fellow patrons reported that Perry was wearing a blouse that was so low cut that both...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan's Rehab Clinic Escape Plot Exposed!
LOS ANGELES - The Los Angeles Police Department is reporting that Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic patient #73013 was making plans to escape from the rehab facility. Officer W.K. Ruskinriggins with the LAPD said that he was called to the rehab...
Read full storyPresident Obama Confesses That His Favorite Reality TV Show Is The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama recently invited a group of television writers and reporters to the White House to talk about the state of modern day television shows and programming. The president expressed to them that he would like to see a...
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