There were 519 spoof news stories published in February 2013. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Justin Bieber Promises Blake Griffin He'll Get Out of The Fast Lane

Justin Bieber Promises Blake Griffin He'll Get Out of The Fast Lane

VENICE BEACH - Justin Bieber was recently seen shopping for a Blake Griffin, Los Angeles Clippers Jersey at Seashell Sal's Sporting Stuff Shop. Bieber has been a fan of the 6-foot-10-inch NBA player ever since he heard him mention on The View that...
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Funny story: New York Bookstore Angers Christians By Placing Bible In Fiction Department

New York Bookstore Angers Christians By Placing Bible In Fiction Department

A New York bookstore owner has angered customers by placing top selling book 'The Bible' in the fiction section of his store. Simon Hargreaves, 45, claims that the placement of the book in the fiction department was a mistake and has apologized to...
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Funny story: Nebraska Groups Move To Ban Internet Porn

Nebraska Groups Move To Ban Internet Porn

LINCOLN, Nebraska - There is presently a movement in the state of Nebraska to prevent the state's residents from viewing porn on the thousands and thousands of Internet porn sites. Several groups are advocating the banning of these vulgarian sites...
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Funny story: The List of 10 Rejected Country Music Band Names

The List of 10 Rejected Country Music Band Names

Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine's Buck Yazoo stated that the world of country music has always been known for having colorfully traditional band names. He pointed out that some of these band names include Rascal Flatts, The Pirates of The Mississippi, Asleep At The Wheel, The Pistol Annies, and the legendary iconic band Bob Wills & The Texas Playboys. Buck said that back when he was attending Sol...
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Funny story: A 7-Foot-10-Inch Tall High School Sophomore Scores 193 Points In a Basketball Game

A 7-Foot-10-Inch Tall High School Sophomore Scores 193 Points In a Basketball Game

CHEYENNE, Wyoming - The Johnny Appleseed Fighting Applepickers defeated their crosstown district rivals The Mary Todd Lincoln High School Vultures by a score of 203-47. The halftime score in Cheyenne's Buffalo Stampede Arena was Appleseed 181 - Li...
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Funny story: Bone Idol Garbage Collectors Chastised By Senior

Bone Idol Garbage Collectors Chastised By Senior

Frank Walker is furious. He claims he is "sick to death" of lazy garbage collectors who pick up his trash from the residential care home where he has resided for the last 5 years. So furious is Frank that he has organized a protest of what he call...
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Funny story: Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Deny The Baby Rumors

Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Deny The Baby Rumors

BEVERLY HILLS - The stars of The Vampire Diaries, Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder, were recently spotted in the trendy Rodeo Drive baby store Baby Rattles, Playpens, & Stuff giving way to speculation that Dobrev is with child. The supermarket...
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Funny story: Prince Philip Cracks Filipino Nurse Joke - Makes Her Cry

Prince Philip Cracks Filipino Nurse Joke - Makes Her Cry

Britain's Duke of Edinburgh asked a Filipino nurse "What do you call a Filipino nurse walking a dog? A vegetarian!" resulting in the woman breaking down in tears. He made the remark during a visit to Luton and Dunstable Hospital, near London, wh...
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Funny story: Unassuming Man Insults Iranian On Train

Unassuming Man Insults Iranian On Train

An Iranian man visiting The Big Apple is set to sue the New York Subway system after claiming he was insulted by a multitude of passengers making his journey on the underground transit system "unbearable'. He is seeking $5,000,000 in damages. Ta...
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Funny story: A List of Celebrity Valentine's Day Promises

A List of Celebrity Valentine's Day Promises

Saint Valentine's Day (Feb. 14) was named after Saint Valentinus, a resident of Naples, Italy, who worked as a wedding singer in his spare time. St. Val, as he was called by his family, is also credited with inventing greeting cards which sold like hot pizza and made him a millionaire several times over. The St. Valentine's Day heart-shaped symbol was created and designed by St. Val's girlfr...
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Funny story: The Grammy Awards Show - Kelly Clarkson Says Her Weight Gain Is Due To Happiness

The Grammy Awards Show - Kelly Clarkson Says Her Weight Gain Is Due To Happiness

LOS ANGELES - LL Cool J hosted The 55th Annual Grammy Awards Show from The Staples Center in Los Angeles. At the start of the show he reminded everyone that CBS executives had issued a memorandum stating that they did not want any of the women pre...
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Funny story: Ryan Seacrest Reveals The Truth About How Kristen Stewart Hurt Her Foot

Ryan Seacrest Reveals The Truth About How Kristen Stewart Hurt Her Foot

REDONDO BEACH, California - Kristen Stewart was sitting in a booth at the popular Flamboyant Tortilla Restaurant. As she sat all alone eating an order of bacon and broccoli breakfast tacos she was overheard talking to herself. A restaurant patr...
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Funny story: President Obama Upset That His Favorite Hamburger Joint Has Closed

President Obama Upset That His Favorite Hamburger Joint Has Closed

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama received word from his Chief Secret Service Agent Laramie Cobalt that his favorite hamburger establishment Ray's Hell Burgers has shut its doors. The president immediately asked what in the world had happened. He...
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Funny story: Pope's secret pacemaker 'was Italian Stallion'

Pope's secret pacemaker 'was Italian Stallion'

Rome - The Pope had an Italian Cardinal fitted up to run as pacemaker during his 2005 election run for the papacy a report in Rome's Corriere Della Que Serra Serra newspaper alleges. Cardinal Gorgon Zola secured 49% of the first conclave run-off b...
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Funny story: Tom Cruise To Set Up Own Version Of Academy Awards

Tom Cruise To Set Up Own Version Of Academy Awards

Vertically challenged actor Tom Cruise has announced he is to create his own Academy Award show as an alternative to what he claims is "the back slapping and mutual masturbation club that is the Oscars". Cruise, 4ft 10, made the announcement aft...
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Funny story: Super Bowl Blackout Was No Accident, Pentagon Reports

Super Bowl Blackout Was No Accident, Pentagon Reports

New Orleans, Louisiana -- The 35-minute power failure at this year's Super Bowl was intentionally planned, according to US military officials, who revealed today that the outage was a failed test of a new Defense Department strategy. Called "Tu...
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Funny story: California Explains Its New Tanning Bed Law

California Explains Its New Tanning Bed Law

SACRAMENTO, California - The state of California, which has more yearly botox implants and liposuction procedures than any state in the nation has just implemented a new law. According to Assistant Attorney General Fairfax Sextontelli, the Califor...
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Funny story: NASCAR's Fan Appreciation Scheme Backfires

NASCAR's Fan Appreciation Scheme Backfires

Daytona, Florida -- A rumored NASCAR plan to shower its loyal fans with free souvenirs ran into a glitch at the end of its Nationwide Series race here. The idea was to launch a "piñata car" into the home stretch fence just before the competitors...
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Funny story: Maryland Wants To Legalize Marijuana

Maryland Wants To Legalize Marijuana

ANNAPOLIS, Maryland - In a move that caught many residents of Maryland by surprise, state delegate Curtis "The Wow Dude" Anderson has introduced a bill into the Maryland legislature that would make marijuana legal for anyone over the age of 21. An...
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Funny story: Alabama Outlaws Accordion Playing

Alabama Outlaws Accordion Playing

MONTGOMERY, Alabama - After receiving numerous complaints from the state's banjo playing residents, the Alabama state senate acted on the countless complaints complaining about accordion playing. State Senator Brisker "Tadpole" Tadfeller, 71, [R-M...
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Funny story: President Obama's Stolen Teleprompter Has Been Found In Mexico

President Obama's Stolen Teleprompter Has Been Found In Mexico

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The White House is glad to announce that the president's teleprompter that was stolen from the White House's News Media Room has been found. According to Chief Secret Service Agent Laramie Cobalt he received a phone call from an...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Is Very Upset About The "Dump Trump" Petition

Donald Trump Is Very Upset About The "Dump Trump" Petition

NEW YORK CITY - Well, the man who claims that his television reality show Celebrity Apprentice is the greatest show since the TV western Gunsmoke is presently foaming at the mouth. According to Tittle Tattle Tonight, Donald Trump, 66, is as angry...
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Funny story: Alaska Admits It Has Developed An Atomic Bomb

Alaska Admits It Has Developed An Atomic Bomb

JUNEAU, Alaska - After months of diligent research The Amalgamated Department of Data Gathering, which is based in Chicago, is reporting some astounding news. According to ADDG representative Bagby B. Buckleybox his agency has learned that the sta...
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Funny story: Local Man Experiences Super Bowl Blackout

Local Man Experiences Super Bowl Blackout

Wisconsin man Elliot Holmes experienced his own personal Super Bowl blackout during Sunday's big game and is wondering "what the hell happened?" after waking up in a pool of vomit and urine, his trousers down to his ankles and his dog whimpering in a...
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Funny story: Pope Snags Job As Wal-Mart Greeter

Pope Snags Job As Wal-Mart Greeter

Soon-to-be former Bishop of Rome, Successor of St. Peter, Head of the College of Bishops, Vicar of Christ, and Pastor of the Universal Church: Pope Benedict XVI has snagged a new part-time job as a Wal-Mart greeter at a superstore in Raleigh, North C...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber May Become a NASCAR Driver

Justin Bieber May Become a NASCAR Driver

NEW ORLEANS - Justin Bieber performed to a sold-out crowd at The Voodoo Arena in the city known as The Big Easy. After the concert he and several members of Team Bieber went down to Bourbon Street to have dinner. They went to the Giggle Giggle...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods Hitting On Ex-Wife Elin Nordegren

Tiger Woods Hitting On Ex-Wife Elin Nordegren

JUPITER, Florida - Tiger Woods has once again shown the world that he is and will always be a player. The golfer who became more famous for his off-the-fairways exploits than for his on-the-fairway exploits was caught openly flirting with his ex-w...
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Funny story: Richard III: Even Non-Brits Want Him

Richard III: Even Non-Brits Want Him

Yogi Berra was right. "It ain't over till it's over." And for Richard III? It definitely ain't over, not by a long shot. Not only are officials in Leicester and York fighting to rebury his remains, but other folks -- all of them dead -- want...
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Funny story: East Coast Blizzard Snow To Be Shipped To Colorado

East Coast Blizzard Snow To Be Shipped To Colorado

NEW YORK CITY - The mayor of the Big Apple, Michael Bloomberg has just informed the news media that he has been in contact with several mayors of East Coast cities regarding the horrific blizzards. He spoke with the mayors of Philadelphia, Baltimo...
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Funny story: Sofia Vergara's Nude Calendar Is Outselling Paris Hilton's By A 9 to 1 Margin

Sofia Vergara's Nude Calendar Is Outselling Paris Hilton's By A 9 to 1 Margin

CHICAGO - The CEO of Calendars 'R' Us, which is the largest calendar manufacturer in the world, has just stated that The 2013 All-Nude Sofia Vergara Mayan Apocalypse Calendar is having astounding sales. Axton P. Zipplecross, Jr., the calendar comp...
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Funny story: Apple Says It's Time for a 'Smart Wristwatch'

Apple Says It's Time for a 'Smart Wristwatch'

Cupertino, California -- Top secret patent papers, leaked during a sequestered privacy spill, have revealed that Apple has chosen to design a 'smart watch' as the innovation that will save the company. Shaped in the form of chrome apple, the dev...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Shaves Head After Being Caught Smoking Pot

Justin Bieber Shaves Head After Being Caught Smoking Pot

Pop star Justin Bieber has shaved her head and offered a filmed apology after being filmed smoking pot, in an eerily similar gesture of stupidity as Japanese pop star Minami Minegishi; who shaved of her hair after being caught sneaking out of her boy...
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Funny story: Racist Theme Park Characters Force Review Of Policy

Racist Theme Park Characters Force Review Of Policy

After a second African-American family accused a character at a well know theme park of ignoring their child because of the color of their skin the theme park have announced a review of their policies regarding entrance to their parks. The White...
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Funny story: Yogi Berra and the Pope Chat on Twitter

Yogi Berra and the Pope Chat on Twitter

Breaking News Two of the world's most famous men have just engaged in a Twitter chat. The Spoof is pleased to bring you the text. Pope: Yo, Yogi. Bless you, my son. Yogi: Grazie, Holy Father, but I didn't sneeze. Finally, we can chat. Hard 2 get a conversation going around here. Everybody's talking 2 much. Pope: Si, si, I know what you mean. What are you doing today,...
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Funny story: The Joan Rivers - Adele Feud Ignites

The Joan Rivers - Adele Feud Ignites

NEW YORK CITY - Self-proclaimed fashion critic Joan Rivers, who is 79, wasted no time in hurling her fiery insults at England's singing sensation Adele. Rivers appearing on Piers Morgan Tonight said that Adele, 24, is so big she has her own zip co...
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Funny story: Astronomers Say Orion's Belt On Last Hole--Obesity Epidemic Blamed

Astronomers Say Orion's Belt On Last Hole--Obesity Epidemic Blamed

Orion's Belt, part of the constellation Orion, has expanded to the point that it's down to its final belt hole, a renowned scientist said today. Dr. Huang O'Flaherty, addressing the International Astronomical Union, told attendees, "Good morning...
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Funny story: President Day Gift Ideas

President Day Gift Ideas

As we celebrate Presidents Day and the traditional exchanging of gifts, applicable to our fine presidents, retail giant Wal-Mart has released it's list of best selling gifts that can be exchanged between friends and family. Wal Mart customer, John...
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Funny story: Pakistan Outsources A Call Center To Cleveland

Pakistan Outsources A Call Center To Cleveland

CLEVELAND, Ohio - In an interesting twist of events, a telemarketing group in Pakistan has just outsourced its phone telemarketing program to The Hello Telemarketing Agency which is based in Cleveland. Pakistan's Yak Yak Telemarketing Agency, whic...
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Funny story: MC Hammer Nailed By A California Cop

MC Hammer Nailed By A California Cop

DUBLIN, California - The rap artist once known as MC Hammer spent some time in the Dublin slammer after he was arrested by a Dublin police officer. Officer Dixon Deckerdiggle told the news media that Mr. Hammer, the hip hop rapper whose 15 minutes...
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Funny story: Man Claims He Understands The Subliminal Messages Received From VP Biden

Man Claims He Understands The Subliminal Messages Received From VP Biden

Florida man, Frank Dobson, has claimed he is being fed subliminal messages from Vice President Joe Biden and says he is "waiting further instructions". "I first began decoding the messages he was passing me through his appearances on TV and at pre...
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Funny story: Drones Set To Fly Over All US Public Schools

Drones Set To Fly Over All US Public Schools

The White House has announced plans that will see Drones circling the skies above American schools in an attempt to deter not only crazed psychotic gunmen and kidnappers from harming children but to also prevent truancy. A Justice Department offi...
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Funny story: Britney Spears Explains Why She's Posing In a Nude Magazine Spread

Britney Spears Explains Why She's Posing In a Nude Magazine Spread

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Britney Spears has really seen more than her share of ups and downs lately. The "Oops!...I Did It Again" girl was recently fired from her $15 million a year job as judge on Simon Cowell's X-Factor. And Spears after seeing her...
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Funny story: Chevron eyes Scooter Libby prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald 'to fill Chuck Hagel's boots'

Chevron eyes Scooter Libby prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald 'to fill Chuck Hagel's boots'

San Ramon - "You mean as in, er, 'With Concrete?' maybe?" bemused Big Oil sources quipped tonight as Chevron top brass reviewed the scalps Fitzie's notched up fighting organized crime in the last 30 years. This weekend the awesome former US Attor...
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Funny story: Horse Meat Actually Not That Bad Say Brits As New Chain Of Fast Food Restaurants Open

Horse Meat Actually Not That Bad Say Brits As New Chain Of Fast Food Restaurants Open

Despite a frozen food producer being caught up in a scandal over horsemeat found in beef products in the United Kingdom, Sweden and France many Brits are confessing that they actually enjoyed the taste of horse, with many even admitting that they cou...
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Funny story: North Dakota Votes To Allow Concealed Handguns At Gun Shows

North Dakota Votes To Allow Concealed Handguns At Gun Shows

BISMARCK, North Dakota - The state's senior ranking senator, Tabor H. Fishfield [D-North Dakota] has managed to push through his latest state bill. Senator Fishfield, who turned 80, on Valentine's Day, was successful in getting the bill known as T...
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Funny story: Miracles of Pope Benedict Revealed

Miracles of Pope Benedict Revealed

Vatican City -- As he retires as the mystical leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict is being honored for the miracles he performed while pontiff. Among the amazing feats with which he is credited are these wonders: Converted the Pope Mobil...
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Funny story: Congress To Choose An American For Pope

Congress To Choose An American For Pope

Washington, DC - Calling the health-related retirement of Pope Benedict XVI "a tragic opportunity," congressional leaders have declared that America will field a candidate in the upcoming election for the next pontiff. "It's a free world, isn't it...
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Funny story: Country Music Shocker! Dolly Parton Getting Divorced

Country Music Shocker! Dolly Parton Getting Divorced

WATERLOO, Iowa - Dolly Parton, 66, showed that she can still sing with the best of them as she performed to a standing room only crowd at The Crop Rotation Convention Center in Waterloo. Parton performed all of her hits including "Jolene," "I Will...
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Funny story: Oldest nymphomaniac on the planet reveals the truth behind her longevity!

Oldest nymphomaniac on the planet reveals the truth behind her longevity!

World famous ancient Russian hag and nymphomaniac, Volga Olga, has revealed the secret behind (many times) her astonishing career as the oldest "bang" (bigger than the meteor) in the business. The world's press gathered in her wooden hut, lost at...
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Funny story: Adele Concert Leaves Local Man Frustrated

Adele Concert Leaves Local Man Frustrated

Vero Beach man Kevin Multony claims he felt a little disappointed after attending a concert by talented British singer/songwriter Adele, and understandably so. "I have to say that after forking over $100 for a ticket to see my favorite singer perf...
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Funny story: As The Drama Turns - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Fussing and Fighting

As The Drama Turns - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Fussing and Fighting

NEW YORK CITY - There is probably no celebrity couple who seems to quarrel, quibble, and squabble more than Brad Pitt and his fiancée Angelina Jolie. Barbara Walters recently called the couple the modern day version of Liz and Dick (Taylor and Bur...
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Funny story: Sequester's Unintended Consequences Will Cause Chaos

Sequester's Unintended Consequences Will Cause Chaos

Washington, DC -- The upside of the government's sequester initiative is a $1.2 trillion reduction in the deficit. The downside is that the blunt force action will produce many unanticipated cuts and changes that will adversely affect every American.
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Funny story: The Cruise Ship Triumph Renamed The USS O'Boy

The Cruise Ship Triumph Renamed The USS O'Boy

MOBILE, Alabama - Political Salad Bar Magazine is reporting that due to the extremely bad publicity, the owners of the cruise ship Triumph have decided to change its name. Carnival spokesperson Helvetica Hickoryhaus, 52, stated that in order to re...
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Funny story: William Shatner or Captain Kirk? Turns out he didn't know either

William Shatner or Captain Kirk? Turns out he didn't know either

'Trekkies' the world over can barely contain their excitement following a sensational find at a major Hollywood studio this week. Kirk's famous 'Captain's Log', it seems, was a real document. The studio has already released excerpts from the journal...
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Funny story: A List of Ten Rejected Reality TV Shows For 2013

A List of Ten Rejected Reality TV Shows For 2013

The Television Coalition For Reality Show Development has just released a list of 10 reality shows that did not make the cut for 2013. The coalition's Senior Executive Director Armstrong Jimmy Pennypocket spoke with TV Clickerworld's Sangria Wine...
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Funny story: NASA Bombshell: There is Intelligent Life on Mars

NASA Bombshell: There is Intelligent Life on Mars

We are not alone. NASA's Mars rover vehicle has found irrefutable proof that intelligent life exists on the Red Planet. The agency is preparing to announce the historic discovery. Details will be released in a few days, but we have obtained an ad...
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Funny story: Bada Boom: Mafia Put in Charge of U.S. Drones

Bada Boom: Mafia Put in Charge of U.S. Drones

Washington, DC -- Under growing criticism for using remote-controlled aircraft to hunt down and kill suspected terrorists, the Defense Department has transferred its top-secret aerial assassination program to the Mafia. "Anybody got any complaints...
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Funny story: Goofy is Disney's MK Ultra Mind Control Agent

Goofy is Disney's MK Ultra Mind Control Agent

It has been claimed that Goofy is the most complained about character at the Disney theme park. One Mother said, "He is just creepy. My little butter-ball wanted to have his picture taken with Goofy and he turned away and farted in my face. Out-...
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Funny story: Shaquille O'Neal Could Be Joining The Lakers

Shaquille O'Neal Could Be Joining The Lakers

LOS ANGELES - The word out of Tinsel Town is that Lakers owner Jerry Buss has been in contact with ex-Laker Shaquille O'Neal about the possibility of returning to his former team. Buss is livid at the 20-26 record that his team currently possesses...
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Funny story: Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Thrilled That The Vampire Diaries Has Been Renewed

Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Thrilled That The Vampire Diaries Has Been Renewed

HOLLYWOOD - There is much rejoicing going on in Mystic Falls, Virginia, the fictitious town where the CW TV series The Vampire Diaries is set. The shows producer Manolo Middlezuck has just informed the entertainment media, that the highly popular...
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Funny story: Pope Benedict XVI Moving To Beverly Hills

Pope Benedict XVI Moving To Beverly Hills

THE VATICAN - Italy's national news agency The Daily Vino has just reported that Pope Benedict XVI, 85, has made a highly surprising announcement. The leader of the Catholic church said that he has decided that after his resignation becomes offici...
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Funny story: Alex Salmond and Cristina Kirchner 'joined at the hip' says energy security think tank

Alex Salmond and Cristina Kirchner 'joined at the hip' says energy security think tank

North Sea - Claims to North Sea oil and gas by the Scottish separatists' leader have been likened to Argentine President Cristina 'Mad Dog' Kirchner's obsession with the Falklands Islands a leading think tank said today. "Neither has a hope in he...
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Funny story: Studies Show Too Much Texting Can Lead To Inverted Nipples

Studies Show Too Much Texting Can Lead To Inverted Nipples

CHICAGO - Recent studies on the mechanics of texting have shown that overdoing it can lead to some serious complications. Professor Verdana Mindy Tenditucker, head of the Anatomical Department at Cottonball State University in Tuscaloosa, Alabama,...
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Funny story: 'Moody bastards' downgrade UK credit rating

'Moody bastards' downgrade UK credit rating

New York - The agency slashed Brits' triple-A rating down one notch after rival credit analysts Standard & Poor Bastards issued a trick or treat dare. From midnight tonight Moody's Investors Service's new classification comes in as AA1 slicing...
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Funny story: US Forces Set To Withdraw From Southern United States As Generals Admit "We Are Simply Outgunned"

US Forces Set To Withdraw From Southern United States As Generals Admit "We Are Simply Outgunned"

The Pentagon has announced that US troops will start an immediate withdrawal from the state of Georgia after conditions there deteriorated overnight and inner city violence and gun crime reached 'unacceptable' levels. With the army predicting a hi...
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Funny story: Man Who Rushes To The Front Of Plane When It Lands To Get Off First A Total Prick Claims Fellow Passenger

Man Who Rushes To The Front Of Plane When It Lands To Get Off First A Total Prick Claims Fellow Passenger

Gone are the days when airlines would not let passengers off planes, forcing them to fly back to where they had just come from. Also gone are the days when airlines would only let the first 20 passengers to depart the aircraft to collect their lugga...
View 'Man Who Rushes To The Front Of Plane When It Lands To Get Off First A Total Prick Claims Fellow Passenger'
Funny story: Nevada Bans Botoxing

Nevada Bans Botoxing

CARSON CITY, Nevada - The Nevada State Legislature has just voted to ban the cosmetic practice of botoxing. Senator Leelo Henrietta Faltenskyler, 51, who spearheaded the bill, expressed the fact that after much deliberation a vote was taken and th...
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Funny story: Bum rap as Nat Rothschild loses Bumi deal

Bum rap as Nat Rothschild loses Bumi deal

Indonesia - [Bumi Boiler Mess): Last seen frolicking with Peter 'Prince of Darkness' Mandelson and tanning his torso on Oleg Deripaska's Queen Special K ocean-going yacht Nat Rothschild's high flying city daze today suffered a spectacular belly flop.
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Funny story: Radical remedies needed to combat otters' shrinking penises

Radical remedies needed to combat otters' shrinking penises

Europe - Conservationists are worried that high levels of Endocrine Disrupting Chemicals - EDCs - in European waters are shrinking the native beasts' fabled genitals a wildlife symposium heard today. The problem's got so bad that the females of t...
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Funny story: Charlie Sheen's Got The Hots For Lindsay Lohan

Charlie Sheen's Got The Hots For Lindsay Lohan

VENICE BEACH - Charlie Sheen was in Venice Beach getting a brand new tattoo from one of the country's most noted tattoo artist Bong Bong. As he was leaving the tattoo parlor he was approached by Pia Confetti with The El Lay Informer. She asked...
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Funny story: Horse Meat Found in Popular Fastfood Joint's 'McShamrock Shake'

Horse Meat Found in Popular Fastfood Joint's 'McShamrock Shake'

HOUSTON, TX - Continuing the string of alarming discoveries about the prevalence of horse meat found in consumer products, the fast food sector is now facing increased scrutiny over an FDA report citing horse meat detected in their seasonal 'McShamro...
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Funny story: Russia has the largest money washing machine on the planet and it's not a German Miele!

Russia has the largest money washing machine on the planet and it's not a German Miele!

Russia is losing billions of "dirty dollars" annually because they are being washed by a huge machine run by a bunch of criminal Scrubbers. Russian billionaires, the Russian Mafia and other criminal organisations are making sure that their hard-e...
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Funny story: Smiley Face On Check Prompts Extra Tip For Poor Waitress

Smiley Face On Check Prompts Extra Tip For Poor Waitress

Despite receiving poor service at a local diner, Boston couple Dan and Irene Goodwin felt compelled to leave a larger than average tip for their waitress, Brenda Lynch, after she drew a smiley face on their check and then wrote "have a nice day" unde...
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Funny story: NASA's Bold Plan to Avoid Asteroid Armageddon

NASA's Bold Plan to Avoid Asteroid Armageddon

The US space agency NASA plans to build a giant bat for deflecting asteroids that are on collision with Earth. The bat will be put into orbit 25,000 miles above the planet. Recent near misses and hits, most notably the fly-by of a 150-foot asteroi...
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Funny story: Israel Kicks Off Palestinian Space Program

Israel Kicks Off Palestinian Space Program

An Exodus rocket launched three Israeli astronauts and 100 Palestinian refugees into orbit Wednesday, kicking off a ten-year mission to establish a permanent human colony on the surface of Mars. The rocket roared into mostly clear skies from the G...
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Funny story: Faux Pas as Iran ambassador is caught on video 'high-fiving' female German MP

Faux Pas as Iran ambassador is caught on video 'high-fiving' female German MP

Claudia Roth, the leader of the Germany Green Party and Iran's ambassador to Berlin were left stretching for explanations after video footage emerged of the two apparently "high-fiving" each other at a conference. Claudia Roth has been a frequent...
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Funny story: Al Qaeda Suicide Dog Training Camp Raided

Al Qaeda Suicide Dog Training Camp Raided

A camp reported to be conducting the training of puppies and dogs, to enable them to carry out suicide bombing missions, has been raided by allied Special Forces. The camp, located in Northern Afghanistan, is understood to have been wiped out, wit...
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Funny story: New Jersey Man Applies For Vacant Pope Position

New Jersey Man Applies For Vacant Pope Position

A New Jersey man could become the first ever American Pope after he completed an online application form for the vacant position which he saw advertised on monsterjobs.com. Eric Tisdale, 44, unemployed but a former butcher feels he is "in with a c...
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Funny story: Missouri Bans Facial Tattoos

Missouri Bans Facial Tattoos

JEFFERSON CITY, Missouri - The state known as The Show Me State has just voted to ban the practice of facial tattoos. State Senator Dominic Crackerwine [R-Joplin] stated that the state senate vote was 23-11 in favor of doing away with the facial i...
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Funny story: Nazi gold sleuth wants to dredge Central Park's Jackie O Reservoir

Nazi gold sleuth wants to dredge Central Park's Jackie O Reservoir

New York - It started decades ago as a quirky hobby digging for links between the Nazis and two US presidential families - the Kennedys and the Bushes - who'd made a packet in World War II contraband deals. This week a dramatic turnaround sees ren...
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Funny story: God sends meteor to Russia with the name of the new Pope written on it!

God sends meteor to Russia with the name of the new Pope written on it!

With the dramatic news of the Pope resigning and several bolts of thunder crashing over the Vatican, God has now decided who will follow Pope Benedict XVI by sending a meteor crashing down into Russia. After the impact a hoard of Russian Catholic...
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Funny story: Boy Time Travelled To Gettysburg Address

Boy Time Travelled To Gettysburg Address

A college professor from San Francisco has claimed that when he was an eleven year old boy he time travelled as part of Project Pegasus. The respectable forty nine year old man claimed that when he as a boy of eleven in 1974 he was involved in a top...
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Funny story: Earth needs giant condom says UN Office for Outer Space Affairs, Flings, Bits-on-the-Side and One-Night Stands

Earth needs giant condom says UN Office for Outer Space Affairs, Flings, Bits-on-the-Side and One-Night Stands

New York - In a week dominated be Brits' meatier fears in the whorseflesh contamination scam and 'a steroid' attack on Southern Russia the UN's dedicated Outer Space Affairs agency says it's time to get tough on unprotected alien sex. "We need to...
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Funny story: New England Patriot To Pass Go on Way to Jail

New England Patriot To Pass Go on Way to Jail

Alonzo Dennard has been convicted and will not collect $200 even if his piece was the recently retired Monopoly iron. Unlike the New England Patriots, the Boston Red Sox cannot get arrested. Patriot players routinely seem to end up in the judicial...
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Funny story: Kate Gosselin Comments on Her Recent Upskirt Exposure

Kate Gosselin Comments on Her Recent Upskirt Exposure

BEVERLY HILLS - Kate Gosselin's limo pulled up to FuFi Fondue's Haven of Hair Salon on Rodeo Drive and instantly half a dozen members of the LaLaLand paparazzi were ready to pounce on her camera-wise. And Kate The Great, as ex-boyfriend Steven Tyl...
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Funny story: The Titillating Reason Sofia Vergara Turned Down Dancing With The Stars

The Titillating Reason Sofia Vergara Turned Down Dancing With The Stars

LOS ANGELES - The star of the television comedy Modern Family, Sofia Vergara currently has the biggest selling calendar in the entire country. According to Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres, Ms. Vergara's 2013 All-Nude Sofia Vergara Ma...
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Funny story: Nemo Is America's Top Baby Boy Name

Nemo Is America's Top Baby Boy Name

CHICAGO - According to The Amalgamated Department of Data Gathering, which is based in Chicago, the name Nemo has just surpassed the names Liam, Noah and Mason as the most popular new male baby name in the United States. Bagby B. Buckleybox, a rep...
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Funny story: Street named after Michael Gove

Street named after Michael Gove

Education Minister Michael Gove has had a street re-named after him in Gravesend. Michael Gove Grove is a quiet row of newly re-furbished houses recently occupied by newly-educated families and young people who have benefitted from Michael Gove's...
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Funny story: George Soros betting on Queen's St David's Day abdication

George Soros betting on Queen's St David's Day abdication

New York - The billionaire's Soreass Fund Management Corp has taken a huge punt on the octogenarian Cold War figurehead's downfall tomorrow. It follows a blind tasting of his tea leaf reader's annual Loving Cup message that prompted Soros to move...
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Funny story: NBA Shooter Aims at Celtic Jared Sullinger

NBA Shooter Aims at Celtic Jared Sullinger

The NBA has decided that Jared Sullinger of the Celtics is not a rookie phenomenon. He plays the role of center, which the NBA Commissioner David Stern fails to recognize. Stern passed him by in selecting the All-Rookie team to play at the All-Sta...
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Funny story: Russian Meteorite Brings Killer Virus From Outer Space

Russian Meteorite Brings Killer Virus From Outer Space

Conventional science believes viruses can 'jump' from one species of animal to another. Conspiracy theorist scientists believe that the greatest threat to humanity lies with killer viruses from outer space. One leading scientist who believes th...
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Funny story: Nelson Mandela Tipped To Win Big Brother International Event

Nelson Mandela Tipped To Win Big Brother International Event

Nelson Mandela has been tipped to win the first ever international Big Brother event to be held in Las Vegas next week, where celebrities and high profile individuals will represent their home countries locked inside a house and isolated from the out...
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Funny story: Stunning Discovery: Dino Mass Extinction Never Happened

Stunning Discovery: Dino Mass Extinction Never Happened

New evidence disproves the theory that dinosaurs were obliterated by a giant meteor strike. Researchers now believe that dinosaurs were on vacation - probably a cruise - and left the planet for another destination. The 110 mile-wide crater in...
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Funny story: Astrologers blame the Pope's Cancer

Astrologers blame the Pope's Cancer

Rome - Stargazers reviewing the Pope's birth chart said today a massive build up of freaky asteroids in his natal Cancer is probably behind this morning's resignation. Decades of space junk clashes in the crabby constellation had clearly worn down...
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Funny story: Pot To Be Taxed

Pot To Be Taxed

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Now that the states of Colorado and Washington have voted to legalize marijuana, word coming out of Congress is that they will be considering a bill that will place a tax on pot. Senator Shelia P. Fluckaminski [R-Arizona] will b...
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Funny story: CNN's Anderson Cooper Sent Chilling Package

CNN's Anderson Cooper Sent Chilling Package

CNN anchor, presenter and personality Anderson Cooper, has reportedly received a chilling package delivered to CNN Headquarters in Atlanta. Cooper, currently covering the story of rouge LA cop, Christopher Dorner was said to be 'shocked'. "It...
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Funny story: Psycho, Baseball, and Anthony Perkins

Psycho, Baseball, and Anthony Perkins

If Norman Bates had something to prove, he did it cleanly in the shower. If Red Sox reliever Daniel Bard has anything to prove, he needs to clean up the mess after coming out of the bullpen. Bardo, as his catcher calls him, made a start on reha...
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Funny story: Pope Prays for a Retirement Party

Pope Prays for a Retirement Party

And if his prayers are answered, the party will be held in St. Peter's Square, with thousands and thousands of attendees from around the word! The Pope has told reporters, "Look, for years, I've been going out on the balcony and blessing that di...
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Funny story: Kevin Garnett To Be The New Charlotte Bobcats Coach

Kevin Garnett To Be The New Charlotte Bobcats Coach

CHARLOTTE - Word from the NBA rumor mill is that Boston Celtic Kevin Garnett will not be traded after all. But the 6-foot-11-inch tall center will however be leaving Boston. According to Tango Brisket with Sports Territory Magazine, who broke the...
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Funny story: Astronauts Read Genesis From Dark Side Of The Moon

Astronauts Read Genesis From Dark Side Of The Moon

In his documentary Brian Cox mentioned that the Apollo astronauts read the story of Earth's creation from the Book of Genesis from the bible. Christians everywhere rejoiced when they heard the beautiful scripture read on Christmas Eve 1968 and saw...
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