Written by Gail Farrelly
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Sunday, 6 January 2013

image for Can Wearing Feathers Help to Attract the Opposite Sex?
Gypsy Rose Lee and dinosaurs had something in common!

Hey, it worked for burlesque queens.

Even more surprising, though, apparently it also worked for dinosaurs, according to recent scientific research. And as soon as these findings regarding dinosaurs were released, there were lots of interesting "feather" developments around the world.

Peacocks have become an endangered species, as feather hunters are desperate and will do whatever they have to do in the acquisition process. Armed guards have been stationed at numerous American Indian reservations, in order to protect the rare and valuable heavily feathered headdresses there.

Also, word is that, because of safety concerns, Yankee Doodle has changed his plans. You know his story:

Yankee Doodle went to town
A-riding on a pony,
Stuck a feather in his cap
And called it 'macaroni'

For now, YD isn't going to town at all, he's just stayin' home and keeping his eye on the cap with the feather.

But a lot of folks aren't buying the reasoning behind the sudden popularity of feathers. As Dan Doubter, a successful and prominent hedge fund manager on Wall Street points out, "If the feathers worked as planned, then just why are dinosaurs extinct? Explain that one to me before I invest in feathers futures."

Make Gail Farrelly's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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