There were 495 spoof news stories published in September 2013. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Hugh Hefner Says No To A Miley Cyrus Nude Layout

Hugh Hefner Says No To A Miley Cyrus Nude Layout

LOS ANGELES - The head of Playboy Magazine, Hugh Hefner has stated that his readers will not be seeing Miley Cyrus in the glossy pages of Playboy anytime soon; if ever at all. The men's magazine mogul told Bedroom Pillow Talk that Miss Cyrus, thou...
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Funny story: The New York Yankees Offer A 16-Year-Old Flame Throwing Pitcher A Contract

The New York Yankees Offer A 16-Year-Old Flame Throwing Pitcher A Contract

NEW YORK CITY - Sporting Chance Magazine is reporting that the New York Yankees organization has just offered 16-year-old Shreveport, Louisiana pitching sensation Corey Buttonbox a 2-year, $3 million contract. Buttonbox who is a freshman at Shreve...
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Funny story: The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader That Pranced and Danced In The Nude On The 50-Yard Line Star Has Been Fired

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader That Pranced and Danced In The Nude On The 50-Yard Line Star Has Been Fired

DALLAS - Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was so angry that several of the sports reporters actually thought that he was talking in Mandarin Chinese. He had called a press conference in his office located in the $1.1 billion AT&T Stadium. J...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Un Says He Will Defend Syria If She Is Attacked By The United States

Kim Jong Un Says He Will Defend Syria If She Is Attacked By The United States

PYONGYANG, North Korea - The Rice Paddy National News Agency of North Korea has just announced that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has issued a stern warning to the United States. He has made it perfectly clear that if President Obama attacks Syr...
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Funny story: Top 10 retirement suggestions for Mayor Bloomberg

Top 10 retirement suggestions for Mayor Bloomberg

New York City - Michael Bloomberg is just weeks away from being forced out of office by an angry mob. (At least that's the way most envision his departure.) The mayor's forthcoming eviction raises the question: What's Mad Mike going to do with all of that free time he is going to have on his hands? Here are the top 10 suggestions: 1. Start by invading Poland. 2. Save a buck by doing...
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Funny story: Detroit To Replace All Fire Engine Dalmatians With Chihuahuas

Detroit To Replace All Fire Engine Dalmatians With Chihuahuas

DETROIT - Mayor Dave Bing of Detroit has just issued a Mayoral Directive stating that effective September 20, at 12:15 a.m. every fire station that has a dalmatian as a firehouse mascot will have to turn their dog over to the Detroit Animal Shelter.
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Funny story: Twitter Birdies Channel Elvis As They Twerk Instead of Tweet

Twitter Birdies Channel Elvis As They Twerk Instead of Tweet

Having problems lately with timely delivery of your tweets? You're not alone. Gail Farrelly, a science & technology reporter at TheSpoof.com, has found out that the Twitter birdies, wanting to thumb their beaks at management for labor compl...
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Funny story: Colorado Senator Wants To Make Marijuana The State's Official Plant

Colorado Senator Wants To Make Marijuana The State's Official Plant

DENVER - One of the most popular and youngest Colorado state senators, Shepherd A. Honeybeaker [D-Colorado Springs] has just made a proposal recommending that Colorado make marijuana the official state plant. Senator Honeybeaker who is only 28-yea...
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Funny story: Yosemite National Park Fire Reportedly Started By A Bear Playing With Matches

Yosemite National Park Fire Reportedly Started By A Bear Playing With Matches

FRESNO, California - Unconfirmed reports state that the two-week old Yosemite National Park fire may have been started by a black bear playing with matches. Park ranger Orion Silvergate, 51, said that he was told by a Gilbert Baumbaker, 19, of San...
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Funny story: Derek Jeter of The New York Yankees Is Hurt, But Too Proud To Take Himself Out of The Game

Derek Jeter of The New York Yankees Is Hurt, But Too Proud To Take Himself Out of The Game

NEW YORK CITY - Like with most athletes Father Time has now caught up with New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. Buckaroo Kazoo with The Turnstile Review wrote that Jeter spends most of the game hobbling around on one leg. He is just about at th...
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Funny story: Vladimir Putin Warns President Obama If The U.S. Invades Syria, Russia Will Invade Detroit

Vladimir Putin Warns President Obama If The U.S. Invades Syria, Russia Will Invade Detroit

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Moscow's national news agency Vodkavich has just announced that Russian President Vladimir Putin has issued a very stern warning to President Barack Obama. Putin speaking to a group of retired KGB operatives at a Holiday Inn in...
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Funny story: Chimp Wins Art Contest, Hires Lawyer

Chimp Wins Art Contest, Hires Lawyer

No sooner was it announced that Brent, a 37-year-old Louisiana chimp, had won first prize in a chimpanzee art contest (read about it here on TheGuardian.com website) than the chimp called a lawyer to complain that the sanctuary where he lived would b...
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Funny story: McDonald's to Offer a "Loaves and Fishes" Special

McDonald's to Offer a "Loaves and Fishes" Special

McDonald's executives went into action as soon they read the story (see it here) on the announcement by archaeologists that they may have found in Israel the original site of the "loaves and fishes" miracle. (You'll recall the Bible story that thous...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Un Purchases 4 Missiles From Peru

Kim Jong Un Purchases 4 Missiles From Peru

PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un was all smiles after he completed a deal with the South American government of Peru to buy 4 missiles. The Rice Paddy National News Agency of North Korea reports that the 4 missiles will be...
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Funny story: The Aircraft Carrier USS Michael Jackson To Be Renamed The USS Elvis Presley

The Aircraft Carrier USS Michael Jackson To Be Renamed The USS Elvis Presley

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Department of Naval Operations has just announced that it has decided to rename the aircraft carrier the USS Michael Jackson. The ship which was commissioned in 2009, will be renamed the USS Elvis Presley. DNO spokesperso...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Un Wants To Buy A Civil War Plantation In Mississippi

Kim Jong Un Wants To Buy A Civil War Plantation In Mississippi

YAZOO CITY, Mississippi - A representative for North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has informed the American news media that the North Korean president wants to buy an authentic Civil War plantation. Kang Won Goo talked with the owner of the famed Cot...
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Funny story: NASCAR's Danica Patrick Seen Leaving Rob Pattinson's Malibu Beach House

NASCAR's Danica Patrick Seen Leaving Rob Pattinson's Malibu Beach House

MALIBU BEACH - Danica Patrick, who was recently divorced from Dr. Paul Hospenthal, has reportedly stated that she wants to give the single girl world a spin (no pun intended). Danica told Ambrose Appomattox with The Turnstile Review that she wants...
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Funny story: McDonald's To Drop The Big Mac Sesame Seeds

McDonald's To Drop The Big Mac Sesame Seeds

OAK BROOK, Illinois - The world's largest restaurant franchise chain, McDonald's has just made a monumental announcement regarding its hamburger buns. Golden Arches Spokesperson Nancy Zabeletta has issued a statement that the fast food giant will...
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Funny story: NASA's Robotic Explorer LADEE Is Not a Happy Camper

NASA's Robotic Explorer LADEE Is Not a Happy Camper

You might think he'd be over the moon about heading to the moon (read about the mission here). He's not. He likes the publicity. But he hates his name. Gail Farrelly, a Science & Technology reporter at TheSpoof.com, spoke to LADEE befor...
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Funny story: Sparks and Mensa change their store layout

Sparks and Mensa change their store layout

Sparks and Mensa, the high street department store for the highly intelligent has made a move to ensure that only those intelligentsia will be using their stores in future by changing the layout of the stores. "The traditional approach to stores,"...
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Funny story: Police Taser use Doubles - Call of duty blamed

Police Taser use Doubles - Call of duty blamed

British bobbies were under the spotlight today as it was revealed that the use of Tasers in incidents almost doubles with every release of Call of Duty. The shock trends were uncovered by using the freedom of information act and asking some kids nick...
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Funny story: Taylor Swift Scoffs At The Lesbian Rumors Saying They're So Gay

Taylor Swift Scoffs At The Lesbian Rumors Saying They're So Gay

MEMPHIS - Taylor Swift has said that she has pretty much been accused of many things, but up until now she has never been accused of being a lesbianite. The country singer giggled as she talked to Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk about t...
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Funny story: Chicharito Convinces Cheryl Cole To Get An Intimate Tattoo

Chicharito Convinces Cheryl Cole To Get An Intimate Tattoo

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - English soccer player Chicharito, whose real name is Javier Hernández-Balcázar and his girlfriend English singer Cheryl Cole were down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico relaxing in the warm Baja California sun. Chicharito decided...
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Funny story: Dolly Parton Addresses The Burt Reynolds Sex Tape Talk

Dolly Parton Addresses The Burt Reynolds Sex Tape Talk

BEVERLY HILLS - The Queen of Country Music, Dolly Parton flew to Los Angeles to see about getting an estimate on a personal female procedure. After she left the office of Dr. Duffy F. Elderfunk, who is regarded as The Gynecologist to The Stars, sh...
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Funny story: A Wisconsin Dairy Farmer Shoots A Pelican - Says He Thought It Was A Spy Drone

A Wisconsin Dairy Farmer Shoots A Pelican - Says He Thought It Was A Spy Drone

KENOSHA, Wisconsin - Dairy farmer Wendell Hickenbocker, 68, who has been in the cow milking business for 47 years, said that he has been watching CNN and hearing a lot about these so called spy drones that Canada is reportedly sending up to spy on Am...
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Funny story: Kentucky Fried Chicken Announces They May Stop Selling Chicken

Kentucky Fried Chicken Announces They May Stop Selling Chicken

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - Word out of the home office of KFC is that the chicken franchise giant is considering making a big change to their restaurant menu. KFC spokesperson Willow Riffaletti, 37, informed the news media that four months ago they hi...
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Funny story: Utah Bans Halter Tops

Utah Bans Halter Tops

SALT LAKE CITY - The state of Utah has announced that it has just passed a law which will prohibit the wearing of halter tops by females. Senator Buxton Quickymill [R-Provo] stated that the bill had been hotly debated with many senators believing...
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Funny story: Japanese Astronaut Robot Gripes about His Wardrobe

Japanese Astronaut Robot Gripes about His Wardrobe

The robot Kirobo held a press conference at the International Space Station yesterday to complain about his attire. (Read about him and see him here). "Like Rodney Dangerfield," he whined, "I get no respect." Kirobo is disgusted that his handler...
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Funny story: America's Oldest Surfer Is 103

America's Oldest Surfer Is 103

MALIBU BEACH - Malibu Beach is a surfers paradise noted for its long lazy point breaks and ideal wind conditions. Malibu Beach is also where on the weekends you can find one of the most popular surfers on the Left Coast, Claire Lemonfire who just...
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Funny story: Jessica Simpson Says She Ready To Pose In A Nude Layout Spread

Jessica Simpson Says She Ready To Pose In A Nude Layout Spread

HOLLYWOOD - Jessica Simpson has said that after being pregnant for what seemed forever, she has finally gotten her fantastically, sultry body back and she is ready to show it off. Reports out of Tinsel Town state that Simpson has already been appr...
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Funny story: Military-Industrial Complex™ invites public to 'pick a fight'

Military-Industrial Complex™ invites public to 'pick a fight'

Washington, DC -- America's Military-Industrial Complex™ is going public with an advertising campaign that invites Americans to choose the next war in which the nation will participate. Called "Pick a Fight," the campaign represents the firs...
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Funny story: Danica Patrick Shocked At The Miley Cyrus Offer To Join Her Nudist Resort

Danica Patrick Shocked At The Miley Cyrus Offer To Join Her Nudist Resort

ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico - Sexy NASCAR race car driver Danica Patrick was in Albuquerque on a promotional tour for her new line of Danica Patrick Bikini Thong Panties®. She was asked by a reporter for a local newspaper to comment on the recent...
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Funny story: Major League Baseball Wants To Put An End To Those Utterly Silly Bench Clearing Brawls

Major League Baseball Wants To Put An End To Those Utterly Silly Bench Clearing Brawls

MILWAUKEE - Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig was in Milwaukee visiting a childhood friend when he was approached by Dottie Bazooka with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily. She asked the commissioner if there were any new rules that MLB is...
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Funny story: Credibility Blues on the Long Guns for Syria

Credibility Blues on the Long Guns for Syria

Anonymous inside sources to The White House have indicated "the credibility blues" for a strike on Syria have President Obama in a difficult pickle at this time. A long, thoughtful walk on White House grounds last Friday evening, accompanied by advisors, was reported highly fruitful, leading to new ideas for the strike on Syria. This conferencing occurred right before Mr. Obama's decision to s...
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Funny story: A List of The Top 10 Vampire Movies of 2013

A List of The Top 10 Vampire Movies of 2013

According To The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency of Chicago, Vampire motion pictures have just surpassed sci-fi movies, superhero movies, fantasy movies, and animated movies in terms of overall popularity. The film series The Twilight Saga, which starred Rob Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner helped to popularize the vampire genre of films. Television shows about vampires helpe...
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Funny story: Bruce Jenner Star of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Addresses The Sex-Change Talk

Bruce Jenner Star of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Addresses The Sex-Change Talk

HOLLYWOOD - Bruce Jenner is 63, and he has said on several occasions that he is tired of playing the little submissive husband to the Kardashian Klan director or operations Kris Kardashian-Jenner. It is no secret in LaLaLand that Kris wears the pa...
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Funny story: A List of 10 Little Known Facts About Anthony Weiner

A List of 10 Little Known Facts About Anthony Weiner

Anthony Weiner has probably provided more jokes for all of the late night talk shows than anyone or anything else this year. There is not a man, woman, or child who has not uttered the name Anthony Weiner at least once. And the Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has stated that Jay Leno has said the word Weiner more than anyone else in America. As of September 6, Jay Leno has said the infamou...
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Funny story: Maria Sharapova Seen Sensuously Embracing Derek Hough

Maria Sharapova Seen Sensuously Embracing Derek Hough

SANTA MONICA BEACH - Tennis great Maria Sharapova was reportedly seen walking hand in hand down the Santa Monica Pier with Derek Hough of Dancing With The Stars fame. The two were later spotted below the pier engaged in a sensuous embrace. The...
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Funny story: Secretary of Education Urges Removal of Word "Privacy" from School Dictionaries

Secretary of Education Urges Removal of Word "Privacy" from School Dictionaries

"Privacy is dead, and that's a good thing," pronounced U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan in his recent address to Congress regarding the content of dictionaries currently used in federally-funded public schools. "And our dictionaries should ref...
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Funny story: Selena Gomez Threatens Justin Bieber With A Restraining Order

Selena Gomez Threatens Justin Bieber With A Restraining Order

TARZANA - Saying that she has had enough of the little hip hop singer wannabe from Canada, Selena Gomez has just informed the entertainment media that she is seriously considering putting a restraining order on ex-boyfriend Justin Bieber. Gomez sa...
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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Confesses That Dumping Kristen Stewart Was The Best Thing He Ever Did

Rob Pattinson Confesses That Dumping Kristen Stewart Was The Best Thing He Ever Did

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Rob Pattinson recently stated that now that the Twight Saga series is over he feels like a big weight has been taken off of his shoulders. He spoke with Tahiti Zeppelin of Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres and told her that he felt like h...
View 'Rob Pattinson Confesses That Dumping Kristen Stewart Was The Best Thing He Ever Did'
Funny story: Syrian Defensive Plan Leaked to Mossad; Snowden and Manning are Yesterday's News

Syrian Defensive Plan Leaked to Mossad; Snowden and Manning are Yesterday's News

Corporal Moammar Bin Traash, SIGINT analyst for the Syrian Army and co-founder of the Damascus Chapter of LGBT Alliance and nephew of Tariq Al Tabouli, owner of Hassan's Hookah and Hashish Kasbah leaked the complete defensive outline of the Syrian Ar...
View 'Syrian Defensive Plan Leaked to Mossad; Snowden and Manning are Yesterday's News'
Funny story: Blobfish Elated to Win "Ugliest" Competition

Blobfish Elated to Win "Ugliest" Competition

The results are in. According to an article on the BBC website, the blobfish has earned the unofficial title of "world's ugliest animal." Read the article and see a photo (but not on a full stomach) here. Others have chosen to interview Miss Ame...
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Funny story: The Stunning Transformation of Senator Ted Cruz, 'I Resisted the Change but Have Surrendered!', Renounces Conservative Politics, Champions Obamacare, Embraces His 'Inner Mexican Laborer', Begs Obama for Forgiveness Barefoot on his Knees

The Stunning Transformation of Senator Ted Cruz, 'I Resisted the Change but Have Surrendered!', Renounces Conservative Politics, Champions Obamacare, Embraces His 'Inner Mexican Laborer', Begs Obama for Forgiveness Barefoot on his Knees

In a stunning political development that has become the talk of Washington, Senator Ted Cruz announced yesterday that he has had a dramatic awakening and a complete, sudden transformation. He is no longer a Conservative. He is no longer a Republican.
View 'The Stunning Transformation of Senator Ted Cruz, 'I Resisted the Change but Have Surrendered!', Renounces Conservative Politics, Champions Obamacare, Embraces His 'Inner Mexican Laborer', Begs Obama for Forgiveness Barefoot on his Knees'
Funny story: NASCAR Warns Danica Patrick To Follow The Rules or Else

NASCAR Warns Danica Patrick To Follow The Rules or Else

AUSTIN - Danica Patrick was in Texas visiting an old boyfriend when she got the word that NASCAR had issued a statement that she will follow the NASCAR rules or else she will be subject to discipline including a fine and possible suspension. Miss...
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Funny story: Oprah Winfrey Wants To Buy The Chicago Bears

Oprah Winfrey Wants To Buy The Chicago Bears

CHICAGO - The Windy City is home to the Bears, the Cubs, the White Sox, the Bulls, the Black Hawks, and to The Big O, Oprah Winfrey. Winfrey recently appeared on The Viagra View and she confessed to Regis Philbin that she has made an offer to purc...
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Funny story: Syria Cancels Plans To Invade Scotland

Syria Cancels Plans To Invade Scotland

DAMASCUS, Syria - Word coming out of the Syrian Desert is that the Syrian government has decided to cancel its planned invasion of Scotland. A spokesperson for the Syrian government Yamadin Hashiki, 40, stated that after going over the financial s...
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Funny story: Senator John McCain Says The Solution To The Syrian Situation Is Easy - Just Make Syria Our 51st State

Senator John McCain Says The Solution To The Syrian Situation Is Easy - Just Make Syria Our 51st State

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Senator John McCain [R-Arizona] has been accused of many things, but not being opinionated is definitely not one of them. The man who ran for president in 2008, and lost due to his running mate Sarah "Snowballs" Palin being a lo...
View 'Senator John McCain Says The Solution To The Syrian Situation Is Easy - Just Make Syria Our 51st State'
Funny story: Zoo Keeper Caught Spanking The Monkey

Zoo Keeper Caught Spanking The Monkey

OMAHA, NE - A zookeeper in Omaha, NE was recently placed on indefinite work suspension due to disciplinary measures he was caught taking with primate residents at a local zoo. "I felt that bobo, in particular, was being selfish, hoarding food, and...
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Funny story: Google Glass to offer X-Ray Vision in Voyeur Mode

Google Glass to offer X-Ray Vision in Voyeur Mode

According to leaked information obtained by Google snoopers GoogWatch, the search engine and mobile phone system maker has a new plan to breathe fresh excitement into the lackluster reception its flagship innovation has received in the gadget market.
View 'Google Glass to offer X-Ray Vision in Voyeur Mode'
Funny story: John Kerry gives Syria the 'Evil Eye'

John Kerry gives Syria the 'Evil Eye'

Washington, DC - Finding little support for his administration's plan to punish Syria, US Secretary of State John Kerry is taking matters into his own face. The former Senator is activating his evil eye against the regime of Bashar al-Assad in r...
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Funny story: 95% of humans responsible for global warming according to UN report

95% of humans responsible for global warming according to UN report

New York - UN Climate Change scientists have published the names of 95% of the world's worst polluters behind warming of the planet. And top of the hot air list are Z-Lister celebs whose contribution to the carbon monoxide - er, peroxide? Dioxide!...
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Funny story: A Chemist In Cincinnati Discovers The Ingredients In M&M's and Manufactures N&N's

A Chemist In Cincinnati Discovers The Ingredients In M&M's and Manufactures N&N's

CINCINNATI - A chemist who has resided in Cincinnati all of his life has just informed American Spotlight Magazine that he has invented a new hard shell chocolate candy. Livingston Odessa who received his Chemistry Degree from Johnny Appleseed Uni...
View 'A Chemist In Cincinnati Discovers The Ingredients In M&M's and Manufactures N&N's'
Funny story: Miley Cyrus Fed Up With All The Haters Announces She's Buying A Nudist Resort

Miley Cyrus Fed Up With All The Haters Announces She's Buying A Nudist Resort

VENICE BEACH, California - Miley Cyrus talked to Ryan Seacrest and she told him that she has had enough of hate-filled people criticizing her for her fleshy bodily displays. She remarked that she plans on purchasing a nudist resort located just ou...
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Funny story: OMG! Special Agent Ziva David 'becomes the fifth Mrs Jethro Gibbs' in NCIS Season 11 shocker

OMG! Special Agent Ziva David 'becomes the fifth Mrs Jethro Gibbs' in NCIS Season 11 shocker

Santa Clarita, Los Angeles - CBS studio bosses had bust a gut dropping zillion of hints about the simmering chemistry between former Mossad agent Ziva David and Special Agent Tony DiNozzo. But the pair's eagerly anticipated on-screen consummation...
View 'OMG! Special Agent Ziva David 'becomes the fifth Mrs Jethro Gibbs' in NCIS Season 11 shocker'
Funny story: Top Scientists Claim "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2" As Unlikely And Innacurate As The First One

Top Scientists Claim "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2" As Unlikely And Innacurate As The First One

"Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2" earned $35 million in its opening weekend, beating out several other films. The latest installment picks up where the first one left off. An inventor thought he saved the world by destroying his invention tha...
View 'Top Scientists Claim "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2" As Unlikely And Innacurate As The First One'
Funny story: Colorado Reports That Most Of Their K-9 Marijuana Sniffing Dogs Are Getting Stressed Out

Colorado Reports That Most Of Their K-9 Marijuana Sniffing Dogs Are Getting Stressed Out

DENVER - Law enforcement agencies throughout the state of Colorado are expressing some concern over the new Marijuana laws. Detective Draco K. Applebush, 47, with the Denver Police Department, who is assigned to the department's narcotics division...
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Funny story: An 8-Months Pregnant Los Angeles Woman Is Arrested For Weightlifting

An 8-Months Pregnant Los Angeles Woman Is Arrested For Weightlifting

LOS ANGELES - A spokesperson for the LAPD has said that a woman exercising is a wonderful thing, but a woman who is 8-months pregnant and lifting weights is not only not wonderful it is downright dangerous. LAPD Spokesman Hilario Fandango, 34, sai...
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Funny story: Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Are Tired of Waiting On Demi Moore To Sign The Divorce Papers And May Get Married In Mexico

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Are Tired of Waiting On Demi Moore To Sign The Divorce Papers And May Get Married In Mexico

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Mila Kunis has said that she is sick and tired of waiting on Ashton's old cougar wife, Demi Moore, 51, to sign the divorce papers. She has made it clear to Kutcher that if his hate-filled, jealous wife does not give him a divorce...
View 'Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Are Tired of Waiting On Demi Moore To Sign The Divorce Papers And May Get Married In Mexico'
Funny story: Chicharito and Cheryl Cole Are Kicking Around The "M" Word

Chicharito and Cheryl Cole Are Kicking Around The "M" Word

BEVERLY HILLS - Cheryl Cole recently flew into L.A.'s LAX Airport where she filmed a commercial for Southwest Airlines. Afterward she was driven to Grauman's Chinese Theater where she had her handprints and footprints put in cement. She then we...
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Funny story: The Dallas Cowboys Defeat The New York Giants 36-31 Before 90,000 Fans

The Dallas Cowboys Defeat The New York Giants 36-31 Before 90,000 Fans

DALLAS - The owner of the Dallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones was in Cowboy Paradise as he saw his team defeat the New York Giants 36-31 led by quarterback Tony Romo's two touchdown passes. Jerry and his two sons sat up in his private luxury suite eating...
View 'The Dallas Cowboys Defeat The New York Giants 36-31 Before 90,000 Fans'
Funny story: Dating Website "Plenty Of Fish" Set to Face New Rival Site "Plenty Of Baggage"

Dating Website "Plenty Of Fish" Set to Face New Rival Site "Plenty Of Baggage"

Popular online dating site, "Plenty of Fish" is quaking in its boots as it learns of plans of a competing company to roll out a site called "Plenty of Baggage"(POB). The new format is said to be more conducive to members, old and new, that tend...
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Funny story: The Indianapolis Colts Are Considering A Name Change

The Indianapolis Colts Are Considering A Name Change

INDIANAPOLIS - The owner and CEO of the Indianapolis Colts, James Orsay, has informed the team coaches and players that he is considering changing the team name. Orsay stated that he really and truly feels that the time is ripe to inject a new tea...
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Funny story: 45 Year Old Man Realizes He Does Not Have To Take Facebook Seriously

45 Year Old Man Realizes He Does Not Have To Take Facebook Seriously

ST. PAUL, MN - "It has been so freeing," stated Al Gorithim, "almost overnight a new peace has come over me." Previously Al did not understand the idea that if nobody commented on one of his posts that it would not affect the outcome of anything,...
View '45 Year Old Man Realizes He Does Not Have To Take Facebook Seriously'
Funny story: Whole Foods Go Ghetto

Whole Foods Go Ghetto

On Wednesday, a manufacturer of "Whole Foods" announced that it plans to build a store in the poorest and most dangerous section of Chicago. The Englewood neighborhood, 10 miles south of downtown, experienced a 40% increase in homicides last year...
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Funny story: UN Inspectors' Report to Confirm Illicit Use of Wig by John Kerry

UN Inspectors' Report to Confirm Illicit Use of Wig by John Kerry

A long-awaited UN report expected next week will "overwhelmingly" confirm that US Secretary of State John Kerry makes use of a wig, the secretary general Ban Ki-moon says. Mr. Ban Ki-moon made no comment on who was to blame for the Washington envo...
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Funny story: Five Guys Burgers May Change Their Name To Five Guys & Their Wives Burgers

Five Guys Burgers May Change Their Name To Five Guys & Their Wives Burgers

ARLINGTON, Virginia - There are now over 1,000 Five Guys Burgers franchises in the United States with more opening monthly. A restaurant consultant, Ferguson B. Waxminnow, has suggested that in order to make the spouses feel like they are part of...
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Funny story: Obama Abolishes Congress, Will Rule by Executive Order

Obama Abolishes Congress, Will Rule by Executive Order

The White House announced today that President Obama has issued an order suspending the representative branch of government. "The Congress is clearly not listening to reason or logic," the President said angrily, "and the Executive Branch cannot per...
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Funny story: Selena Gomez Reveals A Secret About Justin Bieber

Selena Gomez Reveals A Secret About Justin Bieber

DALLAS - Selena Gomez traveled to Dallas to visit some relatives when she ran into Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors. Miss V asked Gomez if she ever misses Justin at all. She smiled and said that she stopped missing him when he began to act like a whi...
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Funny story: Syria Tells President Obama That They Have Buried All of Their Chemicals In The Desert

Syria Tells President Obama That They Have Buried All of Their Chemicals In The Desert

DAMASCUS, Syria - Syrian President Bashar al-Assad has sent President Obama a text message telling him that upon his orders the Syrian army has taken all of the Syrian chemicals and buried them in the Syrian Desert. President al-Assad sent Preside...
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Funny story: Porn Star Says Job Makes Her Feel Nuts

Porn Star Says Job Makes Her Feel Nuts

Nuts HOLLYWOOD, CA - Pamela Partypocket is the moniker she goes by in the porn biz. She's been in the business for just over two years. In a recent interview she revealed that the career is starting to get to her mentally and emotionally. "I fee...
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Funny story: 'Chevron' design clue to ownership of world's newest, biggest motor yacht 'Project Azzam'

'Chevron' design clue to ownership of world's newest, biggest motor yacht 'Project Azzam'

New York - Oligarchs cruising the balmy waters of the Eastern Mediterranean are said to be gobsmacked at news that the world's swishest, sexiest, biggest, costliest and most desirable ocean-going mega-yacht - codenamed 'Project Azzam' - will be homew...
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Funny story: Local Man Dies From Embarrassment

Local Man Dies From Embarrassment

Philadelphia, PA-- A middle-aged man from Philadelphia literally dropped dead from embarrassment yesterday while he was out food-shopping. Medical scientists believe it is the first documented case of death from the common emotion. It also proves t...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Explains His Unusual Fetish

Justin Bieber Explains His Unusual Fetish

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Justin Bieber appeared on The Viagra View and he revealed to co-hosts Larry King and Regis Philbin that he has a rather strange fetish. The 19-year-old said that he has never told anyone but he has a strong addiction to Chinese f...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus' Nude Romp Is A Cry For Help Says Dr. Phil

Miley Cyrus' Nude Romp Is A Cry For Help Says Dr. Phil

NEW YORK CITY - Dr. Phil has finally chimed in on the Miley Cyrus Traveling Circus as Barbara Walter's refers to the life and times of Miley "The Pill" Cyrus. It's no secret that Miley, 20, has gotten more publicity than President Obama's Syrian m...
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Funny story: Congress reshapes itself into a TV quiz show

Congress reshapes itself into a TV quiz show

Washington, DC - Come on down. It's time to play "America's.Got Congress" --television's first ever legislative quiz show. That's the battle cry you'll hear every weekday afternoon, thanks to a new law that turned the Senate and the House of Repr...
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Funny story: Chicharito Tells Cheryl Cole He's Thinking of Retiring

Chicharito Tells Cheryl Cole He's Thinking of Retiring

NEW YORK CITY - Manchester United's Chicharito has dropped a bombshell and told his girlfriend Cheryl Cole that he is contemplating retiring from the world of soccer. The 25-year-old said that he wants to go into acting and has been encouraged by...
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Funny story: Study Reveals Jeans Do Not Make Asses Look Fat

Study Reveals Jeans Do Not Make Asses Look Fat

LOS ANGELES, CA - An ongoing UCLA study has recently unveiled results that may shock many. "Jeans do not make a woman's ass look fat," reported Dr. Mack Daday, "a woman's ass makes a woman's ass look fat, plain and simple." Some of the studen...
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Funny story: Paris Hilton gets oiled and fisted by Kim Kardashian

Paris Hilton gets oiled and fisted by Kim Kardashian

Paris Hilton got oiled just before being fisted by Kim Kardashian during their first encounter together after they spent a moment clintching each other and breathing hard. Kardashian reportedly stated that she was tired and had to take a rest afte...
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Funny story: Victoria Beckham gobsmacked as Brit badger cull pelts 'end up on NYC catwalks'

Victoria Beckham gobsmacked as Brit badger cull pelts 'end up on NYC catwalks'

New York - The former singer turned fashion designer was said to be in a state of shock this morning at news that stunning winter coats made of monochrome 'fun fur' have tested positive for contaminated badger pelts from a British cull aimed at halti...
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Funny story: President Obama's Speech: Edited for easier understanding by those who do not follow current events

President Obama's Speech: Edited for easier understanding by those who do not follow current events

For the sake of those not familiar with the double-speak required of the modern Beltway politian, and who lack the historical context needed to dig out the burined meanings, we provide the following translation of the President's recent speech: My fellow Americans, tonight I want to talk to you about Syria, why it matters and why we can't go anywhere from here. Over the past two years, what...
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Funny story: McDonald's Is Thinking of Adding a McSushiBurger

McDonald's Is Thinking of Adding a McSushiBurger

OAK BROOK, Illinois - The world's largest food franchise chain, McDonald's is experimenting with a new food item that it could be adding to its menu. Corporate Spokesperson Nancy Zabaletta told National Focus Magazine that company executives are p...
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Funny story: Unka Dubya turns down Euan Blair wedding invite on paranoia grounds

Unka Dubya turns down Euan Blair wedding invite on paranoia grounds

Texarse - "Uh, sorry to pull out on your big day, pal," the former US President told Tony Blair in a midnight phone call last night citing premature evacuation worries about Saturday's lavish nuptials. Aides confirmed that secret intelligence abou...
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Funny story: Joan Rivers Remarks That Miley Cyrus Needs A Good Spanking

Joan Rivers Remarks That Miley Cyrus Needs A Good Spanking

NEW YORK CITY - The undisputed Queen of Mean, Joan Rivers has commented that Miss Miley Cyrus has really gone off the deep end and the little wayward brat needs a good spanking. Rivers, who is 80, appeared on The Viagra View with Larry King and Re...
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Funny story: Scotland to be as crap at athletics as it is at football by 2016 Olympics, say Yes campaign

Scotland to be as crap at athletics as it is at football by 2016 Olympics, say Yes campaign

An independent Scotland must be given the chance to fly away from Brazil in 2016 with their heads held high, which is easy to do if your head is not weighed down with a heavy gold medal round your neck, said a man on Twitter yesterday. "Scotland m...
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Funny story: Interpol arrest warrants to search Blair Faith Foundation orifices

Interpol arrest warrants to search Blair Faith Foundation orifices

New York - Despite his immense confidence that they'll never take him 'dead or alive' Tony B Liar's Faith Foundation was rocked to the core today as Interpol began a systematic trawl of all his known bullshitting outlets. Top of the list are outre...
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Funny story: Wyoming Bans Bikini Waxing

Wyoming Bans Bikini Waxing

CHEYENNE, Wyoming - In a surprise move the Wyoming State Senate has just passed a bill that makes it illegal for women to get a bikini wax. State Senator Stratford Lillinsteen [R-Casper] said that the bill was voted in by an overwhelming vote of 2...
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Funny story: Meth Addicted Dentist Losing Clients As He Loses His Own Teeth

Meth Addicted Dentist Losing Clients As He Loses His Own Teeth

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA - "It's not like I don't do quality work," states Dr. Ernest Spunn, "I have been making my living on quality AND quantity. I have been moving through people in sheer volume, especially when I'm tweaking! Root canals, extractions,...
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Funny story: A Group of American Dwarfs Want NASA To Stop Referring To Pluto As The Dwarf Planet

A Group of American Dwarfs Want NASA To Stop Referring To Pluto As The Dwarf Planet

NEW YORK CITY - The United States Guild of Dwarfs has made it very clear to NASA that they do not appreciate them referring to Pluto as the dwarf planet. Guild spokesperson Hester Lippizan, 46, said that the group has put up with all kinds of verb...
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Funny story: Pamela Anderson May Be Prohibited From Running In The New York City Marathon

Pamela Anderson May Be Prohibited From Running In The New York City Marathon

NEW YORK CITY - Officials for The 2013 New York City Marathon have just announced that Pamela Anderson who had registered to run in the 26.2 mile race may not be allowed to participate. A spokesperson for the NYCM Committee Chip Carvalino stated t...
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Funny story: The Marijuana State of Colorado Is Selling More Hostess Twinkies Than The Rest of The 49 States Combined

The Marijuana State of Colorado Is Selling More Hostess Twinkies Than The Rest of The 49 States Combined

DENVER - The distributing company for Hostess Twinkies has just announced that the Rocky Mountain state of Colorado sells more Twinkies than the rest of the 49 states combined. Ellen "Sugarlips" Mantanello, 29, a spokesperson for the snack food co...
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Funny story: Starbucks Makes Public Statement Guns Not Welcome But Not Outright Banned

Starbucks Makes Public Statement Guns Not Welcome But Not Outright Banned

Starbucks public spokesman Anselmo Java recently made a statement to the press regarding the company's stance regarding possession of firearms in any of their establishments. "The only shots we want to hear being fired off in our stores are shots...
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Funny story: Scientists Discover Condition In Growing Population In Which Acronyms Provide Sexual Stimuli

Scientists Discover Condition In Growing Population In Which Acronyms Provide Sexual Stimuli

OMG! A growing segment of the population has resorted to the regular use of acronyms as technology use continues to rise. As society has moved from cell phone, text chatting, and the like, on to advanced forms of communication such as social ne...
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Funny story: Plot to oust US 'Mr Potato Head' Ambassador to London

Plot to oust US 'Mr Potato Head' Ambassador to London

Washington AC/DC - The US State Department has learned of a British plot to get rid of Barack Obama's newly appointed Ambassador to the Caught of St James's, Matthew 'Mr Potato Head' Barzun. The 42 year-old New Yorker has horrified his well-heeled...
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Funny story: Parent Beaten Unconscious for Questioning Common Core at School Meeting

Parent Beaten Unconscious for Questioning Common Core at School Meeting

A New Jersey father was beaten unconscious at a public meeting between parents and leaders of his child's school district after he dared to question the purpose of the new Common Core Standards being implemented there. "The Common Core standards w...
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Funny story: Wife Loses Mind Over Powdered Milk, Witnesses Feel Uneasy As a Result

Wife Loses Mind Over Powdered Milk, Witnesses Feel Uneasy As a Result

Atlantic City, New Jersey - An overzealous housewife, shopping at the local grocery store, lost her mind upon discovering that there were no small containers of powdered milk available and that she would be forced to purchase the family-sized box. "I...
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Funny story: North Carolina gaseous dog makes triumphant return from Syria!

North Carolina gaseous dog makes triumphant return from Syria!

Moose, the gaseous dog from North Carolina made a triumphant return from Syria yesterday afternoon after Bashar al-Assad,President of Syria called President Obama in the middle of the night to say he was capitulating and would turn over all poison ga...
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Funny story: Julia Roberts Disses Her Co-Star Meryl Streep

Julia Roberts Disses Her Co-Star Meryl Streep

HOLLYWOOD - The latest celebrity dissing incident to come out of Tinsel Town finds veteran actress Julia Roberts dissing legendary actress Meryl Streep. The two have just finished filming their new movie August: Osage County. An inside source sai...
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Funny story: The U.S. Government Will Be Importing 7 Million Viagra Pills From Peru

The U.S. Government Will Be Importing 7 Million Viagra Pills From Peru

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Pharmaceuticals has just announced that they have sealed a deal with the government of Peru to import Viagra pills. UDDP Spokesperson May Bergerbock, 38, stated to American Spotlight Magazine that...
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Funny story: New Mutation of Mad Cow Disease Discovered Dubbed Passive Aggressive Cow Disease

New Mutation of Mad Cow Disease Discovered Dubbed Passive Aggressive Cow Disease

Researchers in Wyoming recently uncovered a new strain of the virus that leads to the well known "Mad Cow Disease". "This new strain of the virus is not nearly as aggressive," stated Dr. Armand Hammer, director of agricultural research at USEDSTEW...
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