Written by R. Cox
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Sunday, 11 August 2013

(Corry, PA) - In what will be known as one of the most progressive decisions in academic history, the members of the Corry Area School District of Erie County Pennsylvania have voted to allow porn stars, Raven Gavina and Brock Lancer, to join their faculty and teach their sex education classes.

The highly publicized objective of the district is to provide their students with a more hands-on approach to sexual activities and conduct, with a curriculum that includes: proper condom application, alternatives to intercourse (i.e., masturbation, oral copulation and sensual massage), and exploring sexuality with multiple partners and genders.

Administrators with the school district, including Superintendent Picoletti, believe the program will help students become more aware of sexual diversity, and, thereby, eliminate much of the discrimination and ignorance that has long since plagued the small town, insofar as homosexuality, bi-sexuality and fetishism are concerned.

"Corry is a very conservative, Christian city," Picoletti puts forth, "and, as such, many of our children have been raised to be ashamed of their bodies, their natural sexual compulsions and even sex itself. I, along with the majority of the school board, believe it's time to break from these archaic principles and finally teach the next generation about how fulfilling and wonderful intercourse can actually be, regardless of whom one might choose to engage in such activities."

Miss Gavina and Mr. Lancer have both had extensive success in the adult entertainment industry, and each has worked extensively in heterosexual, bi-sexual and homosexual productions. The supporting members of the school board believe that their combined knowledge and experience can lend to the future happiness of Corry's youth. They also hope the measure will help reduce sexual violence and the spread of STD's.

"I'm very excited about this opportunity," Miss Gavina said. "And knowing that we will be able to take a full, hands-on approach with these students' lessons just makes the job more appealing. So many young women don't know how beautiful it is to share their femininity with another young woman. And so many young men are completely unaware of how liberating it can be to explore with other young men."

Miss Gavina goes on further to suggest that exploratory sex with members of the same gender can often be beneficial, "…because most boys are simply looking for release and nothing more, and other boys will understand that mentality. While girls, on the other hand, often want to be caressed and treated lovingly, which other girls will also understand. Sexuality should be balanced and pleasurable for everyone involved," she concludes.
Mr. Lancer is equally excited about the project, stating that, "Young men generally don't have a clue about erogenous zones outside of their own, which is a shame, really. I think this class will help them be more patient and generous during their performances."

The school board is also hoping that the in-depth education will help students be more cautious, when embarking on their first sexual escapades. Corry was declared the teenage-pregnancy capital of the United States on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson in the early 1980's, and it has taken the city many decades to shake this reputation - especially when you consider the fact that the city is home to a population of just over 6,600 people.

"We're so much more than just a small, amoral town in Northwestern Pennsylvania," Picoletti says. "We're modern thinkers, and we want the best for our children. And, hopefully, this new approach to sexual education will show the world how diverse and open-minded we actually are."

Raven Gavina and Brock Lancer will be joining the Corry Area Junior and Senior High School faculty in September, at the beginning of the 2013 - 2014 session.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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