Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 6 January 2013

image for Justin Bieber Explains The Pot Photo: I Was Just Holding It For A Friend
A photo of Rocco "Happy Feet" Schultzowitz taken at his recent piñata party.

HOLLYWOOD - Many of Tinsel Town's entertaiment publications and news agencies are beginning to refer to Justin Bieber as the Male Version of Lindsay Lohan.

The 18-year-old Canadian singer has apparently decided that he would much rather travel in the fast lane than keep a low profile and simply go with the (traffic) flow. [no pun intended.]

Justin was photographed at a piñata party in El Segundo in honor of one of his ex-back up dancers identified as Rocco "Happy Feet" Schultzowitz.

According to iRumors, Schultowitz had been fired by Bieber's manager back in October due to the fact that during a concert performance he would sometimes start dancing the samba when the other dancers were dancing hip hop.

Schultzowitz tried to blame it on too many carbs, but it was really a case of just too much sweet smoke (marijuana).

In the photo that has already been viewed on the Internet over 8.3 billion times, including 12,971 times in Lower Zamgola, Africa, Justin is shown sitting on what appears to be either a Tropical Rain Forest Green foton or a Raw Sienna colored wicker chair.

He is wearing what looks like a Toronto Maple Leafs ice hockey jersey or a Dora The Explorer yellow T-shirt.

The photo shows Justin clearly holding what resembles a Durango Bango joint in his microphone hand (the right one).

Bieber has explained that the was merely holding the joint for a friend of Rocco's who had gone to the bathroom.

When asked what the friend's name was Bieber said that he had no idea as they had not been formally introduced.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I made a call to Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest and asked him if he knew the friend's name. Seacrest giggled and asked if Kirstie Alley loves food. Before I could answer yes, he told me that the name of Schultzowitz' friend is Hannibal Tobias Gadfoodle, III, an unemployed fry cook who lives with his maternal grandmother in Cucamonga. ]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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