Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 3 May 2013

image for Jay Leno Addresses The Divorce Rumors
Jay said that he recently purchased a pet snake which he named "NBC."

BURBANK - Jay Leno has not exactly been himself lately. And who can blame him since he knows that he is being unceremoniously dumped by the suits at the Peacock Network.

Leno has become very good at hiding his true feelings, but his hair stylist FuFi Fondue of Beverly Hills has said that when Leno comes in for his weekly haircut he hardly utters a word.

Fondue said that two weeks ago, Jay actually dosed off during his haircut and started mumbling things like, I hate that David Letterman guy, and that Conan O'Brien guy, and that Jimmy Kimmel guy, and especially that Chelsea Handler bitch.

FuFi said that he woke him up before he incriminated himself.

Fondue did ask Jay about the rumor that he is thinking about filing for divorce from Mavis his wife of 33 years.

Jay asked him where in the world he heard that. FuFi giggled and said that a little birdy told him.

Leno then asked if the little birdy's initials were L.K.

The hair stylist to the stars nodded his head and replied that it was Larry King, co-host of The Viagra View who had given him the heads up.

Jay touched his expansive chin and said that the rumor sounds like it could be true but it isn't.

He was asked about the talk on the streets of Burbank that Katy Perry has openly flirted with him on his show, in his dressing room, and even at a Flamboyant Tortilla Restaurant located in Pacoima.

Leno grinned and said that he told Katy that he was honored at the physical, emotional, and mental attention she was paying him but he pointed out that he could never be in a relationship with a singer.

In World News. The government of Ecuador has stated that it has no idea where the totally false rumor that they are planning on invading China on May 13, came from.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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