Written by Gail Farrelly
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Thursday, 20 June 2013

image for Twitter Birdies Take Over Word TWEET, Real Birds Furious
New home for the Twitter birdies?

The "takeover" is a done deal.

And "real" birds (y'know the kind that chirp outside your window and poop on the windshield of your car) are all aflutter. As reported by a reporter who understands bird talk and listened in on their conversation, the birds were furious when they read on cbsnews.com that the Oxford English Dictionary has expanded the definition of the word "tweet." A group of the birds almost lost it when they read these exact words in the article: The modern use of "tweet" was not popularized until the micro-blogging service Twitter launched in 2006. Its original definition of a sound that a bird makes remains intact.

"Talk about having our wings clipped," chirped one of the birds to another, continuing, "are we supposed to be grateful that the original definition still remains?" The other bird agreed, exclaiming with complete disgust, "Birdbrains! This is progress?"

One of the older birds chirped his complaint, "It's an outrage. We've been around for -- well, just about forever -- and those uppity upstarts just fly in and take over." Another bird agreed, saying, "Twitter birdies are aren't even real, for Pete's sake, and they think they're the greatest thing since sliced bread. No pedigree at all. Let them go back to the blogosphere where they belong."

A bluebird in the group started humming the melody of "Fly Me to the Moon," the 1954 song written by Bart Howard. She thought it might calm the group. A bird who was listening said in a menacing tone, "I'd like to change one word in that tune. Yep, change the word Me to Them. I like the sound of Fly THEM to the Moon." Agreement, laughs and applause all around from the birds, with one chirping, "And we'll make it a one-way trip. No return required."

Bye-bye, Twitter birdies!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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