Three twitter birdies are accused of making a bundle by breaking the law.
As Twitter plans its first public offering of stock, the three birds are accused of tweeting inside financial information to a few traders willing to pay for it. Law enforcement officials appeared at Twitter headquarters with arrest warrants. The three suspects, wearing mini wingcuffs, were led away to jail to await trial.
A federal official, George Goodytwoshoes, gave a press conference at Grand Central Station in New York City yesterday to explain the accusation. "It's impossible to fly away from the law," he announced, giving a detailed description of the charges against the birds. He was unable to speak for long as dozens of Twitter birdies, supporting their arrested colleagues, swarmed around his head and nested on his shoulders.
After a few minutes, George called an end to the press conference and was seen making a run for the exit to the terminal. On the way, he was desperately trying to get the bird poop off his bald head and his new suit.
"Get me outta here," he muttered to a friend, continuing, "I'm not even getting paid for this. My office is presently on furlough, due to the government shutdown."
"Fly me to the moon," he ordered a startled taxi cab driver as he jumped into a cab in front of the station.
Viewing the whole episode, some delighted tourists reported that the performance of Mr. Goodytwoshoes was the most entertaining thing they had seen in NYC so far. "I say, give him a Tony award or maybe an Oscar," a tourist from Kansas suggested with a giggle.