Virginia - The CIA has backed British reports claiming explosive breasts implants are threatening global security after pictures of foreign women's flame-thrower nipple-guards and related maternity bra stuff were posted on the YouBoob! network.
Agency lactation specialists had long suspected the existence of breast implants capable of concealing liquid explosives such as semtex and nitroglycerine.
They have theorized these could be activated by a simple hypodermic jab [ouch!] containing a thermite propellant that triggers a massive bang as described in the 9/11 edition of the Taleban Cookbook of Wholesome Nursing Tits - uh...Tips!
Last week US Customs seized thousands of underwired 'gel' bras manufactured in the People's Democratic Republic of Yemen destined for the Detroit Police Department following a tip-off.
Analysis showed a high concentration of liquid TNT in the gel inserts which manufacturers claim can give women a more rounded breast silhouette than traditional stuffed sock or paper tissue.
The raid took place in the wake of YouBoob! hackers' leaking of DPD female officers' vital statistics during Michigan's state-wide Cup Sizing Week.
The annual festival has been likened to a parody of a kids' pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey party game and involves pairing pics of the right mammaries to well-known local figures' faces.
One ounce of plastic explosive retails around $1,000 on internet grooming sites.