Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 16 August 2013

image for The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Are Told By Owner Jerry Jones That They Better Watch Their Figures
Jerry Jones says that he and only he will make the decison on who makes the cheerleading squad and who doesn't.

DALLAS - The man who owns the Dallas Cowboys has informed the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders that he will not put up with any muffin tops, untoned thighs, or non-nubile breasts.

Jones met with all of the cheerleaders in the conference room of an Enchanted Enchilada Restaurant located half a mile from AT&T Stadium, the home of the Cowboys.

He showed the young ladies a video that one of his assistants had taken showing every girl in action during the Cowboys home games.

Jerry, who is known as King Jerry, by all of his employees pointed out that 13 of the girls are in danger of being cut from the squad.

He did state that none look bad by any means, but he did stress that being a Cowboys cheerleader is an honor and it is a job that millions of young women throughout America would give their favorite earrings, high heel shoes, and even their favorite bra's to be a part of.

Jones said that he will personally be making the decision on which girls will be allowed to remain on the cheerleading squad and which ones will be cut.

SIDENOTE: Jones also mentioned to the girls that this year he is instructing the cheerleading squad seamstress to make their shorts even shorter in order to attract more male fans.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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