Steve Bannon Explains 'Grand Wizard' Visit At The White House

Funny story written by Dante Liberatore

Monday, 2 October 2017

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Steve Bannon, President Trump's former Chief Political Strategist, explained yesterday that the 'Grand Wizard' he invited to the White House Rose Garden was in fact 'Harry Potter'.  

"It was a complete misunderstanding," he said while ironing a Confederate flag in the White House laundry room. "..and another example of the press trying to label me as a racist." 

On a related note, Mr. Bannon also claimed he had nothing to do with the Nazi cupcakes served to David Duke on a White House portico. 

"It's just another attempt by the media to smear me as intolerant," he asserted while wearing an apron and holding a whisk. "And by the way," Mr. Bannon added. "..did you try those cupcakes? They redefine 'moistness'."

Mr. Bannon's lifelong friends also dispelled the clouds of racism. 

"Stevie Boy is not a racist because he never went to a KKK rally," said Myron Keehoe, the Grand Dragon of the Loyal White Knights of Skokie, IL. "I mean, he'd drop me off at a rally and pick me up, and maybe call me a few times to see how the cross burnings were going, but that was about it."

Randy Wayne, the Chairman of the American Nazi Party, also came to Mr. Bannon's defense.

"Whenever I needed picket sign for a Nazi rally," he said while breezing through a copy of 'Mein Kampf', "Steve would go to Staples and get the oak tag paper and magic markers, but I would assemble the signs. And furthermore," the Nazi added. "There's no way Steve Bannon is a racist because he once had lunch with a Jew." 

But there are those who are convinced that Mr. Bannon is discriminatory, like Juanita Alvarez, a Mexican-American White House maid who discovered a 'CAUCASIAN ONLY' sign on the restroom door in Mr. Bannon's West Wing office. 

"When I first saw the sign, I could not believe it," Mrs. Alvarez said while crazy-gluing Mr. Bannon's coffee pot to his fax machine. "And it made me want to string up that Nazi gringo and poke him like a piñata." 

But according to Mrs. Alvarez, Mr. Bannon's intolerable abuse did not end there.

"That fat puta once called me a 'border bandit' for forgetting to empty a wastebasket, a 'fence hopper' for not dusting his shelves and a 'bowl of chalupa' for refusing to shine his shoes. So as far as Mr. Bannon and that grand puta Trump are concerned," Mrs. Alvarez conclude, "..they can both besa mi culo (kiss my ass)".

Mr. Bannon could not be reached for a response to Mrs. Alvarez's allegations because he was busy watching a double-feature in the White House Movie Theater featuring D. W. Griffith's controversial film "Birth Of A Nation" followed by D.W. Griffith's controversial film "Birth Of A Nation".  

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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