Lady Sybilla Beheads Rex Tillerson as Blood Sacrifice to Vladimir Putin

Funny story written by TheTempleReptilian

Sunday, 1 October 2017

image for Lady Sybilla Beheads Rex Tillerson as Blood Sacrifice to Vladimir Putin

Our ears are buzzing with rumors about the Russian scandal that never happened. Some call it #RussiaGate. Others call it #TrumpRussia, and yet others refer to it as "the Russia narrative."

No matter what you call it, you cannot escape from the blinding Twilight sparkles of Russian President Vladimir Putin.

While it's true that Vladimir Putin has been a famous celebrity in Russia for at least a decade or two, the Putin mass hysteria didn't start in the United States until the lugubrious, nefarious, Oliver Stone launched Putin to stardom in September 2016 with his film Snowden.

When the Snowden leaks took the world by storm in the summer of 2013, Lady Sybilla conceived of a saga taking place in Russia with Snowden chased by UFOs in the Siberian Forest. The Edward Snowden Saga

We will probably never know if Oliver Stone saw this concept art and was, at least in part, inspired to make a film about Snowden, or if he simply came up with the idea on his own.

What's important is that the Snowden leaks exploded to such monumental proportions in the United States, that Russian President Vladimir Putin rose to stardom overnight as a result of the feeding media frenzy that Snowden summoned up.

Enter screenwriter Lady Sybilla, who had been following the Snowden scandal daily on Google News for months, and she was bound to notice Putin's shining star.

At the time, life happened for Lady Sybilla, and she gave up on her vision of making a Snowden movie. It was never a serious project to begin with, but given the fact that Hollywood big shot Oliver Stone had his paws all over it already, Sybilla lost interest in it altogether and moved on.

Fast forward to the summer of 2017, when Lady Sybilla starts promoting her first published screenplay 'The Temple,' and shazam! The world is suddenly stricken with news that Vladimir Putin has been assassinated.

This is happening while everyone is pointing fingers at Jared "Jaredey" Kushner for trying to establish a secret line with the Kremlin, and Trump is harassing Comey for investigating him without his consent.

Suddenly, the wheels in Lady Sybilla's imagination start spinning, and she decides to find out on her own what really happened to Vladmir Putin.

Did he really get assassinated during a Satanic blood drinking ritual like Dan Flynn said on YouTube, or was the original Putin still alive?

Lady Sybilla had to find out for herself.

According to the video, Putin's alleged assassination had only been briefly announced in the news, when the whole story suddenly got taken down, and all traces of it were vaporized from the Internet.

The video then continues to explain a theory as to how Mr. Putin may have been assassinated and replaced with a different consciousness.

"Can a regressive entity take over a human body?" asks the video. Then it continues saying, "Yes, the process is very simple. They abduct someone, they bring him to death very slowly, and the moment his last breath, his essence, leaves the body, they replace it with another."

We all know about Hillary Clinton and John Podesta, and their #SpiritCooking debacle, also courtesy of Wikileaks. First came Snowden, and then, during the 2016 election, Hillary started spreading rumors about Trump's "collusion" with Vladimir Putin.

The whole thing ended up with Trump winning the election and Hillary constantly hanging around his neck like an albatross, reminding him that Russian hackers had 'meddled' with election results.

As of today, Lady Sybilla mostly believes that the real Vladimir Putin is still alive based on her Twitter interactions with the Kremlin and Russian media.

However, there's always that nagging little suspicion at the back of Sybilla's head which makes her wonder: What if the Putin we know today really were a reptilian alien shapeshifter who snatched the body of the real human Putin?

What a mindfuck, eh?

In the end, the whole #RussiaGate saga keeps getting waterboarded on Twitter, one day it's drowned out, while the next, it is revived when some journalist in search of ratings makes up another episode to keep on dragging the same yada yada every single day.

By the fall of 2017, Lady Sybilla has been chilling at home, airing out her grievances as loud as possible on Twitter and annoying the heck out of Trump and all the troll armies who have invaded the platform, when along comes this sci fi romance out of nowhere, and, just like that, Lady Sybilla is majorly blindsided.

But a hero's journey is never easy, so it's no surprise to Lady Sybilla that her announcement of her debut screenplay 'The Temple' is meeting with such a massive opposition from pretty much every angle of society.

Lady Sybilla starts analyzing headlines and be like there's no tomorrow on PlanetEarth if we don't save it NOW.

So, to make a story short, the constantly contradictory news stories thrown at Lady Sybilla on social media have got her very confused.

She then decides to create a digital painting of herself and Putin to promote the book on Twitter, and all hell breaks loose.

Rex Tillerson starts running around like a chicken with its head cut off, barking orders at Venezuela, North Korea, Iran & Cuba. He be trying to start a war no mater with whom or why. He just wants a war because wars are profitable to the slave masters.

And along comes Lady Sybilla, as quiet as can be, and #SNAP that monkey out of that tree.

She goes medieval on everybody on Twitter, starting from Mr. Putin to MFA Russia and even Russian media starts facing the holy wrath of Lady Sybilla.

The dust of the Lady Sybilla and Vladimir Putin enigma hasn't even settled yet when, all of a sudden, out of nowhere comes Sybilla and cuts off the head of the snake.

#RexTillerson, the infidel who constantly slandered North Korea, Iran, Cuba, Venezuela and Syria has found himself dwarfed by Lady Sybilla's telekinetic powers.

The story ends when Lady Sybilla blows a gasket and creates a digital painting of herself proudly showing off Rex Tillerson's severed head on a spike.

"I offered it as a blood sacrifice to Vladimir Putin," confirms Lady Sybilla. "Just in case it was true that he'd been assassinated, Rex Tillerson had to go, because he was getting on my nerves, and that's that."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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