In a midnight tweet last night President Donald Trump tweeted: "I will issue an executive order tomorrow to decertify Columbus DAY...why should just one city get a national holiday named for them...SAD!"
In a 3:AM tweet he wrote: "Why not a Cleveland Day...or a Dallas Day...or a Dubuque day...SAD!"
In a Oval Office press conference this morning a reporter from CNN asked: "Mr. President, our viewers cannot understand your tweets saying you will issue an executive order to decertify one of our oldest national holidays. After all, it was Columbus who discovered America"
Trump exploded: "FAKE NEWS! CNN Alway6s reporting FAKE NEWS! Everyone knows it was George Washington who discovered America!"
Reporter: "Begging your pardon Mr. President, George Washington is known as the father of our country."
Trump: "SEE! I told you!"
Reporter: "Mr. President, Christopher Columbus was a Spanish exp0lorer and sailed the ocean at Queen Isabella's request to discover a new world."
Trump: "WRONG! For one thing I banned people from that place! Criminals and thugs! It was Washington and Abe Lincoln that cut down that cherry tree and built the ark and saved the world and animals!"
At this point, a voice from the back of the Oval Office was heard to mutter: "Moron!"
Without looking up President Donald Trump yelled: "YOU'RE FIRED!"
The female voice was heard to say softly in a distinctive accent: "Free at last...thank God almighty...free at last!"