Written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 12 October 2017

image for Push up bra sales droop as big boob fashion sags!
Iggy is setting the trends with his non-push-up bra, but he certainly needs silicone somewhere!

It seems the days of huge silicone boobs, coconut like pairs of perfectly formed plastic surgeon tits bulging out of low cut dresses is over!

London bra retailers are noticing a huge 'sag' in their sales heading towards the Christmas rush for large size push-up bras with many horny husbands, young girls, and mums, who have enough 'up top' after breast-feeding their babies, opting for slim-line bras worn by less-curvy celebs!

Now every real man loves peeking down a lovely cleavage, but real men prefer real boobies and not the silicone, coconut versions, that have ruled the boob world since Marilyn Monroe left us with no option! So this trend is a healthy retro fashion guiding mankind back to what is real and what is plastic; no thanks to Baywatch!

As for ageing women with saggy, droopy boobs, sorry, you can still buy push-up jobs, but do not expect to look like your daughters because they are jumping on the natural boob trend set by their younger celeb heroes, not Katy Price! The only options left for older women, above 50 I guess, is to either go silicone (very dangerous) or put up with their boobs hanging on their knees or belly (depending on what size they are!).

Pamela Anderson & Co are mega out! Near boob-less, Cara Delevinge (who the F is she?) & Co are in, and as for males over 50, at least we still have some bouncy toys to play with!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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