Seattle, Washington - As I reported last year, during the Christmas holidays and after the presidential election, Hilary Clinton was caught masquerading as Santa in an iconic downtown New York City department store and arrested. Store management got suspicious after there were numerous complaints from parents. Instead of asking children what they wanted for Christmas, "Santa" would interrogate children how their parents voted in the presidential election. Children who replied "Trump" were rudely dismissed and sent off crying. After the embarrassing incident, many had speculated that Hillary had turned her aspirations on an another male dominated position, Santa Claus, to finally break the "Glass Ceiling" that she bragged so much about penetrating during her presidential campaign.
This year, after months, and months, and months, of Hillary's never ending "What Happened" book tour, after torturing people all over the world with the excuses why she lost, she recently ended up in Seattle, Washington. The alarming Santa incident occurred in a popular Seattle department store. It was newly adorned for the Christmas Holidays and decked out with an elaborate exhibit constructed for Santa Claus, including a fairy tale North Pole wonderland.
A horrified mother of two, who had brought her children to visit the store's Santa, described the shocking incident she witnessed. A pretty, precocious girl of 7 or 8 went up and sat on Santa's lap. After the little girl seem to pass Santa's 5 minute presidential election interrogation, Santa asked: "What do you want for Christmas darling?" The little girl answered: "A Barbie doll." This sent "Santa" into a 10-minute tirade about how Barbie dolls objectify woman, promoting impossible body standards in young girls which leads to bulimia and anorexia. Santa was also quoted as saying: "Barbie can't talk back and express whether she wants to play with you or not."
After Santa's excruciating dissertation on Barbie Dolls, Santa inquired: "Now, sweetheart, wouldn't you rather have a nice copy of "What Happened" instead, the wonderful book by the feminist icon Hillary Clinton?" The defiant little girl disappointed by Santa's obvious rejection of her Barbie Doll request, answered: "Why would I want a book on how to fail by one of the world's biggest losers ever?" Of course, this sent Santa into a conniption fit. Santa forced the little girl over "his" knee and began vigorously spanking her. The girl's horrified parents and other aghast onlookers tried to get the girl off Santa's lap. Department security had to be called, as well as the local police. During the melee, Santa's beard was pulled off revealing it was Hillary Clinton. She was arrested along with three accomplices, who were dressed as Santa's elves.
After the embarrassing incident, the department store quickly started disassembling the store's Santa winter wonderland. Workers found hidden in the North Pole workshop display thousands of copies of the book "What Happened". It has been speculated that Santa's little helpers, the elves, later identified as Huma Abedin, John Podesta, and James Clapper, were selling the books to parents after their children's little chat with Santa.