Trump Eliminates Seat Belt Requirement as "Burdensome"

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Wednesday, 27 December 2017

MAR-A-LAGO, Dec. 25. From the Christmas White House, President Donald J. Trump today signed an executive order removing all federal regulations requiring automotive seat belts. At the same time, he ordered the Justice Department to begin legal proceedings to invalidate all similar state laws and directives mandating use of such physical restraints. He signed the order in the presence of CEOs from all the major domestic and foreign car manufacturers.

"Such regulations, promulgated by left wing presidential administrations previously, are financially burdensome not only to auto makers, raising the cost of new cars by billions of dollars each year, but to consumer as well, who may be priced out of the market by the cost of such unnecessary add-ons. Not only will elimination of these burdensome rules reduce the cost and increase sales, but it will also restore to the consumer the right of choice, a right that do-gooders have taken away in their zeal to protect everyone from everything," Trump explained.

"It is not the duty of government to insist on protecting everyone from every danger. That should be left to the wisdom of the individual citizen. Those who want seat belts can have them installed in the after market, but those who drive safely should not have to pay the cose of such unneeded protection."

White House sources indicate that a similar executive order, banning the helmet requirement for bike and motorcycle riders, will be released next week.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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