As the world is about to celebrate one of the most momentous events in human history, the birth of Jesus Christ. An equally extraordinary event, the end of Hillary Clinton's "What Happened" book tour which has lasted month, after month, after painstaking month has finally come to a close. On Friday Hillary tweeted: "Returning home after the final week of the book tour for 2017." Unlike Christmas, whether you are Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or an atheist there is reason to rejoice!
The Guinness Book of World Records reported that Hillary shattered the previous record for time spent on a book tour and she will be sited in their 2018 edition soon to be published. They said she also easily broke the world record for the most excuses given for losing an election by any politician in history. A spokesperson for the Jim Pattison Group, the book's publisher, declared: "I doubt anyone will ever break these records! Not even come close!"
Many members of the Hillary Clinton Fan Club lamented this devastating event, the end of her book tour - their Holiday season ruined again - like last season when Hillary lost the presidential election. However, many were hearten when Hillary announced Friday at her final book signing in Seattle: "Don't you worry you haven't seen or heard the end of me yet. I am working on more books!"
Hillary's publisher, Simon and Schuster, leaked a few teaser details of Hillary's new "What Happened" book series coming to the stores near you.
The first in the series:
What Happened to Monogamy
10 Ways to identify if your husband is cheating and what to do
- What to do when finding dry cleaning receipts for stained dresses that aren't yours.
- Noticing your husband's female co-workers always have rug burns on their knees.
- Your husband chews his cigars more than he smokes them.
- Avoiding stepping in wet and sticky stuff in your bare feet when walking around your husband's office.
Next in the series:
What Happened to America's Uranium
How to corner the Uranium Market and make your friends glow green with envy
What Happened to Philanthropy
How to setup a charitable foundation and keep all the profits tax free
What Happened to Private Email
Setting up your own email sever and what to do if you get caught