Written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 14 December 2017

image for Bing Crosby Chrissy classic banned at Brit University!
BTW, this is not a 'white' snow man, it's a colorless snowman because white aint a color!

"I'm dreaming of a WHITE Christmas," a Bing Crosby Christmas classic pop song, has been classified as "RACIST" by students dreaming of a romp in the snow!

It seems a snow blizzard entered the heads of the students as they inquired into whether the white snowy weather would close the campus, and the university answered via a tweet: "We're dreaming of a WHITE campus!"

Now in today's very sensitive, modern, multi-culti times, such a statement melts peoples tempers, and gets them boiling, which aint good for romping in the snow!

Many students from diverse ethnic backgrounds not knowing Bing's ancient classic, thought the Universities tweet was a racist slur, because Bing Crosby's and Bob Hope's 'Road to Mandalay' film was made in times when people understood a good laugh and joke! Crosby's classic song, played for over a half a century in front of Christmas is nowadays too sensitive stating the fact that snow is 'white', and not any other color!

So Jaggedone, to avoid all racial, modern, nonsensical innuendos, has decided to re-title the classic, and here are several options for you to choose:

1) I'm dreaming of a shagging good Christmas! (I'm too old for that one!)

2) I'm dreaming of a pissed up Christmas! (Even better!)

3) I'm dreaming of a rainbow colored Christmas! (oops sorry, gays & lesbians could be offended; forget that one!)

4) I'm dreaming of a vegetarian Christmas! (oops sorry again, vegans will be pissed off!)

5) I'm dreaming of a Red Nose the Reindeer Christmas! (Jaggedone, you butt-hole, animal rights followers will slaughter you!)

6) I'm dreaming of a Christmas without BULLSHIT! (A very difficult one, because the world is full of it!)

7) I'm dreaming of a colorless Christmas! (Great idea because black and white aint colors!)

8) Last not least; I'm dreaming of no fucking Christmas! (Because I'm sick of people getting over-sensitive about a white load of snow and ice!)

PS: When you play Bing's classic in private on the piano; do not tell your audience the colors of the keys you are hammering on!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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