Around the country, families, friends and work colleagues are currently planning for the massed mumbling of Auld Lang Syne.
The song, written by Scottish Poet Robert Burns is only really known for its first verse and chorus (much like the national anthem) so anyone who sings it for longer will find themselves struggling with the remaining six verses, which considering they are in gaelic will lead to unforgivable social faux pas, and as everyone knows, that is no way to start the new year.
Mr Billericay MacDonald said 'Gie us a clue, matey. Nae, mon, I don't know it either, you timorous beastie of the porridge clan'
'It is ironic' said Eric Pickles, (no,not that one) a self proclaimed expert in New Year traditions 'that no-one knows the full lyrics of the first song we sing, once, and only once in every year. No, I have no friends, but five former wives'.