The UK government consists of many ex-public school toffs, so it comes as little surprise to learn that foreign secretary Boris Johnson believes that the Brexit negotiations are like "a game of soggy biscuit".
He explained further, "the people baked the biscuit by voting for it. Then every politician has produced a bit of happy juice and put their load on top of it. Now David Davis has to step forward and scoff down the whole bloody thing."
Johnson chuckled, then added. "But he's used to it. They used to call him 'the mop' back at Eton. Ah, happy days we all had there!"
Even EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier is said to have dropped his spooge on the metaphorical biscuit, yet when asked about it he claimed to have no knowledge. "Seriously," he said. "I have no idea what goes on in these people's heads, they seem quite disturbed."