Thursday, 21 December 2017

image for Britain's post-Brexit EU role confirmed to be that of "annoying friend"
Britain nags Europe into forming a continent

Britain is leaving the EU, but that doesn't mean for a minute that it is going to disappear. It is going to hang around the EU and hover over their conversations like a ghost. Prime Minister Theresa May has admitted as much when she said that she would love to hang out with the EU after the UK-EU break-up, like an obsessed ex-lover.

"Let's be honest," said EU negotiatior Michel Barnier. "The UK are like that woman you meet, you have a good time with, and then she calls you a slut on Facebook and doesn't return your calls. It's worse than dating a French woman."

Theresa May responded to Barnier's comments by calling him a "jealous shit" and saying "bet you wish you still got this."

Nevertheless, negotiators on both sides have agreed that the best possible solution is for the UK and the EU to set up a unique international relationship, whereby the UK will be considered an "annoying friend" of the EU. That way, they will have access to the EU's goings on, but will be eternally kept away from the inner workings of the powerful international body.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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