Seattle, Washington - As reported Friday, Hillary Clinton was arrested after an altercation in a Seattle downtown department store. As part of her never ending "What Happened" book tour, she was in Seattle giving speeches, signing books, and was caught moonlighting as a department store Santa Claus to sell even more books. Dressed as Santa, she was coercing young children into asking for her book "What Happened" instead of the Christmas gifts they really wanted. All hell broke loose when a precocious, defiant, little girl resisted her suggestions and Santa begin spanking her. Store security and the local police were called to break up the fracas. Santa's beard was pulled off during the scuffle, exposing Hillary who in turn was arrested.
Local Seattle authorities have now released some of the charges Mrs. Clinton is facing: Child Endangerment, Child Abuse, Delinquency of a Minor, and Conspiracy to Defraud. Since Seattle's transgender laws are very liberal, she was not charged with impersonating a man. Some have speculated that the cast and moonboot she wears on her right foot, after kicking a British reporter back in October when she broke her toe, is now hiding a police angle bracelet tracking device.
Since Hillary's arrest on Friday was her second time being apprehended for masquerading as Santa, the first occurrence last year at a New York department store, combined with the fact a minor was involved, the FBI was called in. Although the FBI gave Hillary a big pass on her illegal email server, ruining an innocent child's Christmas is quite a different matter. After an intense, all evening grilling, Hillary finally confessed what she was up to. She admitted: "The Trumpster absolutely devastated my last Christmas and I wasn't going to let him or any of those who voted for him get away with it this year!".
Much as has been reported about the infamous Uranium One scandal, in which the Clintons sold out 20% of Americas uranium to a Russian backed company. Over $140 million poured into the Clinton Foundation in bribes from companies involved. Bill Clinton, himself, receiving $500,000 for a twenty minute speech in Russia promoting the deal. What hasn't been reported is that after Hillary's devastating loss in 2016, the Clinton Foundation begin secretly buying up coal mines in Kentucky. The Obama administration's anti-coal policies almost devastated the coal industry and the Clintons were able to buy several mines for pennies on the dollar.
Hillary's plan was simple, but ingenious. Use her book tour to travel around the U.S., collect names and addresses of Trump voting deplorables and use her Santa appearances to identify the real Trump degenerates who didn't vote for her. On Christmas eve, with her army of Hillary feminists, with a little help from Antifa, sneak into Trump supporters homes. Stockings hung on the fireplace with care, would be stripped of their Christmas goodies and replaced with a lump of coal from one of the Clinton coal mines.
Although the FBI has assured the public Hillary's plan has been thwarted, they have asked any person receiving a lump of coal in their Christmas stocking contact the FBI.