H&R Block Makes Interim Scapegoat Jeff Brown Permanent Scapegoat
H&R Block, the tax preparation company teetering toward a Conrail-level financial collapse, has turned Interim-CFO Jeff Brown into Permanent Scapegoat CFO Jeff Brown, this after long-time CFO Becky Shulman got the f==k out of Dodge in April. Who...
Read full storyHollywood Vaporized
Reports just in suggest that Hollywood has been vaporized. It is no more. SEN's US correspondent, Lindsay Liplicker called in today to confirm that she drove up from downtown LA, only to find Hollywood gone. All of it. Sunset Strip, Hollyw...
Read full storyPirate Ship Built as Back Yard Project Now Pillaging Coast of Lake Michigan!
Neighbors describe P.M Wortham as a normal bloke, 'just one of the neighbors, really,' before a childhood fantasy became all too real when he quit his day job and began building his boat in the backyard. That's when it 'all came a cropper' says his Y...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse In Vajazzling Parlour Bust Up
Unconfirmed reports are slowly filtering through to us here at Skoob Entertainment News that troubled and multi tattooed chanteuse, Amy Winehouse, got involved in a vajazzling parlour bust up, as a professional vajazzler refused to vajazzle her. W...
Read full storyDevil Rejects Ted Kennedy's Soul
HADES, HL - Lucifer held a press conference Tuesday afternoon to announce his decision regarding Ted Kennedy's application for residence. Mr. Kennedy applied for the permit to Hades after he was rejected at the Pearly Gates in 2009 after his death...
Read full storyEmma Watson Not Keen On Vajazzling Say Insiders
Insiders close to Emma Watson - Hermione out of the Harry Potter films - have stated that the elfin actress with the jazzy new short haircut probably wouldn't be overkeen on being vajazzled. Vajazzling is the latest craze from the left hand side c...
Read full storyCommon Waste Shames in jeopardy as participating nations unhappy with slumdog athletes villages
DILLY-DALLY, INDIA: The Common Waste Games plunged further into jeopardy. Athletic facilities were deemed to be filthy, unclean and unhygienic prompting the following riposte from the India Minister for Talking Rubbish: "Western nations have diff...
Read full storyGordon Brown offered a new job
"Some people say he's attracted to jobs which involve a lot of firepower. Some people say that nobody has ever seen him smile. Some say he can look a child in the eye and feel good. All we know is, he's called Gordon Brown." Jeremy Clarkson's w...
Read full storySusan Boyle to release Contraceptive
Following the success of the recently released JLS condoms (choose a member to cover your member), Trojan have announced that they will be releasing a rival product designed to prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spread of STDs. The Susan Boyle insp...
Read full storyMI6 Censures Truth
A long book which purports to be the history of MI6, covering much information about the secret organisation has kept a famous spy's activities unknown. It was thought her story might still cause problems on an international scale. We have been ap...
Read full storyJustin Bieber's underwear auctioned for charity
Justin Bieber's underwear has been put up for auction for charity - with experts estimating it could bring in over $10 million dollars. "Celebrity underpants are holding their value extremely well" Said Peter Kex of Bloomer-bergs. "It seems that t...
Read full storyBlair 'spitting venom' as second 'God's Banker' under surveillance after Pope visit!
London - (P2 Lodge News): Last week he was bathed in magnificent reflected Vatican glory, sitting in the front row at a televised Papal Mass, an official Pontifical address in Westmonster Hall and countless other Papa Ratzi public beanfeasts. This...
Read full storyUnsellable Ghost House in Portsmouth UK is sold to Paedophile ring!
A very creepy, ghost house in Portsmouth failed to sell to "normal" punters because it was just a bit too "chilling" but a ring of Paedo's snapped up the bargain because they want to make contact with Kiddy ghosts haunting the house: Apparently th...
Read full storyTEAT Party Activists Announce Whack-A-Thon
BOSTON, MA - Barney Frank, Chairman of the newly formed TEAT-Party (The Entitlement And Tyranny-Party) announced today that his organization is planning a 24-hour circle-jerk to protest the success of the TEA Party movement. The event will be held...
Read full storyHilary Clinton attempts to stop global cooking smoke?
Best known for her forgiving role in that great epic "Bill and that girl who sucked me but didn't have sex with me", Hilary Clinton, has now switched from being a wounded ex-sucker and become a global fireman! Hilary is fighting global cooking smo...
Read full storyWorkshy Chav Father Of Twelve Battered Senseless
Independent observers have warned about this sort of thing for years, and it finally happened last night. Workshy chav, Delorian Sedgewick was battered senseless and hospitalised by the irate father of his latest beau, as he started what has been...
Read full storyApple's Genius Bar Expands to Include Food and Drink
Counting on the success of the Apple Store's Genius Bar for answers to technical product questions, insiders tell me that they will soon be expanding the concept to a separate building, serving food and beverages. "It was based on a suggestion sub...
Read full storyTortured Japanese POW Paris Hilton says Cocaine Was Not Was Mine
At this very moment Paris Hilton is being held captive in Japan by the Japanese Government. Paris Hilton flew to Japan on a private jet, and upon landing in Japan Paris Hilton was detained and interrogated for hours by the Japanese military. At this...
Read full storyTerrorist Dismayed That Planted Bombs Are Not Growing
Newly anointed Al-Qaeda member, Ali By-Golly, looked dismayingly upon an open dirt field and sighed deeply. "Why won't they grow? Why won't my planted bombs grow into wonderful bomb trees? Oh why? Oh why? Oh why?" "I joined Al-Qaeda to kill infidels. I joined Al-Qaeda to rid the world of infidels and I am trying so hard to rid the world of infidels, whatever the hell they are. They...
Read full storyVatican not only welcomes "bent Priests" it also loves "bent bankers"!
The Catholic church never manages to survive long without a scandal or two for it's leaders and followers to swallow. A well accepted fact that hidden amongst the ranks of its Priests there are certain undesirable elements fiddling with little boy...
Read full storyOne In Three People Who Drink Too Much Feel Like Sh*t The Following Morning
New figures released today reveal that one in three people who drink too much inevitably feel like shit the following morning. And apparently the other two don't fare all that much better. "I like a drink or two," one man said. "But the followi...
Read full storyA Tense Meeting
Penny and Terry were a bit worried. Their parents had arranged to meet each other and Sylvia Smythe was preparing a meal that would suit everyone. Eel Pie was discussed and slipped away, Fish & Chips was a favourite for a while until Penny announced she could not eat an endangered species. Finally everyone was happy with Toad in the Hole and Ice cream for dessert, or bread and butter pu...
Read full storyJimmy Carter Calls Bill Clinton a "Pussy"
Former President Jimmy Carter isn't letting the truth stand in the way of his assessment of his life. "I am superior to other presidents," Mr. Carter said in an interview with CNBC News. The former president released a statement not long after th...
Read full storyFruits, Nuts and Vegetables To Meet With President
Congressional leaders representing their respective constituencies are meeting with the President today. The Fruits, led by Barney Frank, the Nuts by Nancy Pelosi and the Vegetables, who claim Nevada Senator Harry Reid as their leader, are expected...
Read full storySandra Bullock Says That Jennifer Aniston Is Definitely One Woman That She Does Not Want To Kiss
AUSTIN - Sandra Bullock was sitting in the spacious living room of her Austin, Texas mansion playing hide and seek with her baby Louis Bardo Bullock, whom she refers to as her "Little Cajun Cookie." Bullock said that Louis was named after New Orle...
Read full storyBritney Spears Buys A Wonderbra
Hollywood was buzzing this morning as rumours flooded the street that Britney Spears has bought a Wonderbra. Sources claim that a 3D billboard outside London's Waterloo rail station inspired the star to go ahead with the purchase. One fan told...
Read full storyFear & Panic in the City
Bankers, white faced with terror, are reeling from the onslaught from Vince Cable and Nick Clegg against their bonuses. Cable, sensing blood, is on the warpath: 'I am very angry with the Banks. If they go on giving themselves bonuses I will be abs...
Read full storyJoe Arpaio: "I Will Demand to see Obama's Birth Certificate"
PHOENIX AZ (AP) Sheriff Joe Arpaio called a press conference after hearing that President Barack Obama might visit Arizona to campaign for the reelection of Sen. Harry Reid. At the press conference, the sheriff reiterated his plan to demand proof of...
Read full storyPope Benedict's Travel Diary
Just got back from a four day trip with the lads to the United Kingdom. It was a holiday from hell from start to finish. The Flight: We booked with Ryanair from Leonardo Da Vinci airport. We were attracted by the promise of low low fares. However, with taxes and other hidden extras it came to nearly £300.00 each. One or two of the boys offered to only take hand luggage on which brought th...
Read full storySarah Palin Is Asked If She Plans On Getting The Latest Rage "The Left Coast Vaginal Vajazzling"
TARZANA, California - The former governor of Alaska and female leader of the splinter Republican group The Tea Bag Party was in town attending a meeting of The Big Game Hunters of The San Fernando Valley. Palin was asked if she keeps up with the l...
Read full storyCricketers come to blows over Mum Joke
The latest scandal to come out of the ongoing one day series between England and Pakistan has seen players from both sides become involved in a 'scuffle' at a nets session before the fourth match in the series. It is alleged that during practice,...
Read full storyDonald Rumsfeld's Memoirs To Be Out In January, 2011 - The Book Will Include 34 Pages Which Will Be Suitable For Coloring
RALEIGH, North Carolina - The former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was in Raleigh speaking before a gathering of The Tobacco Is Still King Federation. He was asked how he has been doing since leaving pubic office in 2006. He smiled and said...
Read full storyNew Zealand Marijuana Burn Off Smoke Fills School
Police in New Zeland seized marijuana over the past year and decided to burn off the marijuana that they didn't smoke or sell through their network of distributors. Police officers in Picton, New Zealand were burning marijuana when the wind changed d...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars: After The First Show The Jersey Shore's Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino Ties For Last Place
HOLLYWOOD - One of the cast members of The Jersey Shore flew in from the Right Coast to compete on the Left Coast and he did not do too good since he only got to rehearse for five days instead of fifteen days like everyone else. Michael "The Situa...
Read full storyKiss my Butt Outrage
England cricketers are outraged at the request of the Pakistan member of the International Cricket Committee that they must kiss his butt before Pakistan will play against England again. Rumours are circulating that some members of the England squ...
Read full storyCat angry at Wheelie Bin Scandal
The cat at the centre of the Wheelie Bin Scandal has been whining at the pathetic response to the crime committed by Mrs Beale of putting her in a Wheelie Bin. 'I expected a deterrent sentence of life imprisonment' said the cat 'we are already hea...
Read full storySchwarzeneggar CAN be President
Taking a leaf out of Barry O'Bama's book - Arnie (I'll be back) Terminator will be running for the top job at the next election. Citing Barry's ''what birth certificate? you can't see my 'genuine' birth certificate'', Arnie has 'lost' his and now...
Read full storyNew Athletics Challenge
As Athletics teams assemble in Delhi for the Commonwealth Games they realise that there are some extra competitions to deal with. First, crossing a bridge has been made into a new event for the steeplechase. The added excitement is that the bridge...
Read full storyTwitter down, thousands of twits left without anything to do.
The Twitter social tool was invaded today by a swarm of black boxes and gigantic letters, thanks to a newly discovered error called an 'onMouseOver' exploit that allowed tweets to repost themselves repeatedly or redirect users to other websites.
Read full storyBlair to write new book following failure of autobiography
Blair's previous autobiography has been dubbed a failure by critics. Common knowledge really. However, true to form, the ex- Prime Minister has vowed to write another book. The fictional book, named "Adventures of an Innocent Chap who can't say No...
Read full storyKate Middleton in nude burkha-trampling vid romp shocker!
London - (Reuterus): A tiny swastika-shaped birthmark on her left buttock is just visible in the grainy footage. Looking lean and tanned seven stone vamp Kate is seen trampolining up and down on a burkha that covers what looks like a royal-mammog...
Read full storySarkozy's "Napoleon Castle" show threatened as Terror Alert High.
This story is a direct follow up of Sarkozy responds to Immigration Policy Criticisms If you haven't read it, you may want to before reading this one. Yesterday we broke the news that Sarkozy has launched the gameshow "Napoleon Castle". After one...
Read full storyAthlete's Villages Unfit. Plumbers called in.
Britain has come out to criticise the next Commonwealth Games, we can exclusively reveal. The group of athletes representing the UK are ready for the Games, but aren't prepared to stay in Athlete's Village until a plumber has been called. In w...
Read full storyObama administration recruit Noel Edmonds to deal with North Korean problem
The Obama administration has indicated a new line of policy after recruiting bearded TV presenter Noel Edmonds to help deal with the belligerent North Korean state. Edmonds, who has enjoyed a successful career including hits like Multi-coloured Sw...
Read full storyWooden bicycle sets land speed record
Dyna Moe, an inventor from Lincoln set a new land speed record this morning on a completely wooden bicycle. The frame, chain, seat, wheels and pedals were completely constructed from wood. "The initial idea was to set a land speed record for woode...
Read full storyMan Sues Doom Video Game Character for Violation of His Civil Rights
A Minnesota man, I. M. DeLusional, is suing that big, scary, ugly Doom video game character that shoots bombs out of his arms that nobody can seem to kill, for violating his civil right to his freedom to the pursuit of happiness. "You have no idea...
Read full storyParis Hilton does it again
Paris Hilton was sentenced to two consecutive six-month sentences in the Clark County Detention Centre, which were suspended, and she was warned that she faces being jailed for up to a year if she breaks the terms of her probation. "The purpose of...
Read full storyDr Penny Horlick, from University of Oxbridge, finds a living example of prehistoric man, the australopithecus!
Archaelogical Department, University of Oxbridge: Exciting news from the usually sleepy world of archaeology, Dr Penny Horlick, a prehistoric archaeologist at the University of Oxbridge, has found a living example of prehistoric man, the australopit...
Read full storyMoyes defends tactics despite shit start to season
Everton Manager David Moyes is currently experiencing the worst start to the season in twelve years, but he still sticks by his tactics. The manager, notorious these days for developing the efficient 5-5-0 formation, claims he knew what he was doi...
Read full storyParis Buckles Under Pressure Of The Press
Glamorous Socialite Paris Hilton was recently sentenced to 30 days in rehab after several incidents involving substance abuse. The first reported incident occurred last Wednesday at 21:17pm outside a night club in LA. Paris was seen being remove...
Read full storyDelaware Senate Candidate Christine O'Donnell Turns her Rival Into a Newt. Says She is Sorry
Delaware Republican candidate, Christine O'Donnell, turned her political rival Chris Coons into a newt today, after a chance meeting between the two on the state's capitol steps. Shortly after turning Coons into a newt, a robin swooped down and pick...
Read full storyCrouchy Left on the Bench again... at Disneyworld Paris
Shock horror this week as professional footballer and Bambi-on-ice impersonator Peter Crouch was forcefully evicted from Disneyland Paris. The 6'7" footballer was on holiday this weekend to escape recent media speculation that his partner Abbey Cl...
Read full storyCookie Monster named as Kim Jong Il's replacement
It's official. Kim Jong Il has confirmed reports that he is slowly dying of a painful Justin-Beiber related death in a rare conference held in his living room. The tyrannical leader also named his successor. Whilst many of us thought his son would...
Read full storyBlueberry diet stops senility
A recent study from nutritionists at the University of Newcastle has shown that a cup of Blueberries every day stops senility in its tracks. Even a very small cup, say doll house sized. Violet Beauregarde, who led the study, initially bred mice th...
Read full storyQueen Becomes Catholic: Finds Priests Sexy
Queen Elizabeth of Great Britain has converted to Catholicism. Her Majesty's subjects learned the news when Buckingham Palace issued a statement. Those subjects who are Catholic rushed out on to the streets where they fell to their knees in pra...
Read full storyJennifer Love Hewitt Jazzed About Vajazzling
Jennifer Love Hewitt has always been a favorite of young men everywhere, but she had a procedure done earlier this year that has elevated her to the status as one of the hottest female celebrities this side of the solar system. Jennifer Love Hewit...
Read full storyNorth Korea to Hold Clown Congress to Choose New Leaders!
North Korea - North Korea today announced it is holding a "clown" congress to choose a new leader and several other important government posts. The surprising move appeared to turn their normal boring process of playing musical chairs, where Kim J...
Read full storyMoaning
Some linguists say language came about as an imitation of natural sounds -howling, barking, baying, etc. On the other hand, bible says people, at the beginning, spoke one language! One day, they decided to build a tower to reach heaven. God didn't like it at all, so he 'confound their language', and, thus, people ceased to 'understand one another's speech'. Whatever. We may safely presum...
Read full storyAustralia lists Farmville Crops as exports
CANBERRA- Legislation has passed the Senate today, allowing for Farmville Farmers to export their crops to potential overseas clients. This legislation comes after months of protests from disgruntled Farmville farmers, or 'facebook farmers', who u...
Read full storyNorth Korea Offers to take Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton and Bimbo to be Named Later
North Korea - Today Kim Jong Il held a very rare press conference to announce an offer to the world. Translated it was roughly this: "Today we ate some oreo cookies for breakfast, very naughty. Ahem, we have a more serious matter to discuss. Day a...
Read full storyAn Arrest Warrant Has Been Issued For Lindsay Lohan - Looks Like It's Back To Jail (Maybe?)
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - It appears that a pair of Hollywood celebs are keeping the California law enforcement departments, the court magistrates, and the prison system pretty darn busy. The two celebs aka blonde airheads Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan s...
Read full storyCheney, Rove, Palin and Limbaugh Threaten to Burn Spoof Writers
Indianapolis - Dick Cheney, Karl Rove Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin are tracking down American Spoof writers from the British internet rag The Spoof.com. First on their list was Jalopenoman in Texas who claims to be conservative, but is often cau...
Read full storyChristine O'Donnell Not Happy About Fielding Witch Jokes
When Christine O'Donnell of Delaware won the election to run for a United States Senate seat on the GOP ticket, she was all smiles, but it didn't take long for the bones in her closet to start rattling. The biggest bone rattler of all turned out to b...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan: This Time I Learned My Lesson, Unlike Last Time, And The Time Before That, And The Time Before That, And The Time Before That, And The Time Before That, And The Time Before That.
"I have learned my lesson," cried the Number One Skank-burger of the 21st century Lindsay Lohan. "It is so much different for me, unlike the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, and the time before that, and the time before...
Read full storyNew Tax on 'Green' Energy
A Scottish university professor has demanded the government tax green energy projects such as off-shore wind farms. The so-called 'green' energy is free once the infrastructure is created and Professor Tommy McKnife claims that reducing the cost o...
Read full storyInappropriate Behaviour by Male Warders at women's prison
The Prisons' Inspectorate have issued a damning report about inappropriate behaviour by male warders at the largest women's prison in the UK. According to prisoners, male warders have been peeping at them through spy-holes in their cell doors, at...
Read full storyWhat Does The Eagles Say to The QB Who Goes 37-58, 459 yds, 3 TDs, 0 INT, And Rushes For 140 Rushing Yards in 1 1/2 Games?
The question on the lips of football fans from Kennett Square to some northern Pennsylvanian town where Eagles fans reside is "Will The Philadelphia Eagles Start The QB Who Is The Best Athlete On The Team Or Bobby Hoying II?" Coach Andy Reid has a...
Read full storyBoliva Issues Alert for 'Tin Pot Dictator' Colonel Juan Bolivar In Inca Artifact Caper!
INTERPOL has been alerted after the state of Boliva issued a warrant for a self styled Bolivian Colonel who claimed to be the great grandson of Simon Bolivar in order to loot the country of priceless Inca Artifacts including the irreplaceable "Golde...
Read full story