Pontiff Admits Using Dope-A-Pope to Foil Would-be Assassins

Funny story: Pontiff Admits Using Dope-A-Pope to Foil Would-be Assassins

LONDON, UK - Anti-terrorism police arrested six men on Friday on suspicion of preparing an attack on the Pope. Police moved quickly to make the pre-dawn arrests of five men in central London where the pontiff later spoke: Your Majesty, Thank...

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Don't Mention United v Liverpool Says Nonentity

Funny story: Don't Mention United v Liverpool Says Nonentity

As Manchester United prepared to face Liverpool this morning in the run up to the battle of the one time - rumour has it that Chelsea currently define English football tradition - big shots, a Skoob Sports News reporter appealed for calm, and level h...

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Clare Balding is not a dyke

Funny story: Clare Balding is not a dyke

TV presenter and dental hygienist Clare Balding was delighted today to discover she wasn't a dyke. Balding complained to the PCC when an article was published in The Times by the famous dead American poet Dr Suess called the Dyke on the Bike. T...

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America's Got Talent's Jackie Evancho To Guest Star On Miranda Cosgrove's Show "iCarly"

Funny story: America's Got Talent's Jackie Evancho To Guest Star On Miranda Cosgrove's Show "iCarly"

HOLLYWOOD - Ten-year-old Jackie Evancho, who placed second on America's Got Talent, has agreed to make a cameo appearance on the top rated teen show iCarly which stars Miranda Cosgrove. Miranda told a reporter for the television publication TV Cli...

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Democrats Announce TEAT-Party Movement

BOSTON, MA - Congressman Barney Frank held a press conference today to announce the formation of a new political movement - The Entitlement And Tyranny Party, or TEAT-Party. The mission of the movement is to promote government-subsidies, handouts...

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Pope encourages suicide bombings

Funny story: Pope encourages suicide bombings

Today, the Pope controversially spoke of his desire to see Christian suicide bombers. In a speech to followers in London, he said "Those Muslims are getting all the attention by blowing themselves up. We Christians are being marginalised. The medi...

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Pope greets crowds at Ibrox Park

Funny story: Pope greets crowds at Ibrox Park

This week, the Pope has visited Ibrox Park in Glasgow as part of his tour of the UK. It is said that the Pope would visit Ibrox (home of the Protestant Glasgow Rangers football club) when hell freezes over. However, Celtic Park was unavailable due to...

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GOP: "The Ride of the Valkyrie"

Funny story: GOP: "The Ride of the Valkyrie"

Norse legend The Valkyrja (chooser of the slain), is one of a host of female figures in Norse legend who decide who will die in battle. They came as death in the night, the new Valkeyrie of the GOP. O'Donnell, Palin, Bachmann, and Angle. Are they...

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Socialists admit Robin Hood "was criminal"

Funny story: Socialists admit Robin Hood "was criminal"

The head of the Socialist Workers Party has today declared that it was wrong to base the principles of modern socialism on the mythological beliefs of a 12th century outlaw. Robin Hood is famous for stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, a...

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Adam Lambert Carrying A Torch For Taylor Lautner

Funny story: Adam Lambert Carrying A Torch For Taylor Lautner

The rumor mill has been going strong this morning that singer Adam Lambert has developed a taste for Twilight star, Taylor Lautner. "Oh he's looking alright", stated friend and sometimes partner, Drake LaBry. "I'm glad now that we called off the w...

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Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger is "Pumped" For Prom Season

Funny story: Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger is "Pumped" For Prom Season

(Pittsburgh, PA - September 17, 2010)… Early Friday morning, 2-Time Super Bowl Champion and star Pittsburgh Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger held a press conference to address the local and national media. Roethlisberger, 28, is yet to play in an NFL c...

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Five Street Cleaners Held Over 'Pope Plot' Sing like canaries

Funny story: Five Street Cleaners Held Over 'Pope Plot' Sing like canaries

After a huge operation by armed counter-terror officers, five street cleaners (none of whom were British) were arrested this morning after an anonymous tip off that the cleaners were planning to attack the Pontiff.However leaked information received...

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America's Got Talent Winner "Mississippi" Michael Grimm Proposes To His Girlfriend

Funny story: America's Got Talent Winner "Mississippi" Michael Grimm Proposes To His Girlfriend

WAVELAND, Mississippi - The 2010 winner of America's Got Talent, Michael Grimm, returned to his home in Waveland, Mississippi with a check for $1 million, a recording contract to headline at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, and about two dozen brand new...

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Sperm-leggers tried, found wanting, see men caught in a tissue of lies

Funny story: Sperm-leggers tried, found wanting, see men caught in a tissue of lies

In a first for English judicial law, two men have been found guilty of illegally making sperm, available over the internet, by turning a hobby into a scheme for reaping pecuniary rewards. The men behind the seminal case, Bill Wrangler and his rig...

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His Royal Highness - Philip the Greek asks top Scotttish Tory female if she's wearing crotchless tartan knickers

Funny story: His Royal Highness - Philip the Greek asks top Scotttish Tory female if she's wearing crotchless tartan knickers

Somewhere in the maze of Edinburgh's Palace of Holyroodhouse: You've gotta love him for the senile old fool that he has always been - the comic foil to the Queen's seriously frumpy frowning face. He is of course, the first Laddie of the Land...

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Ines Sainz Agrees To Appear Nude In PlayGuy Magazine

Funny story: Ines Sainz Agrees To Appear Nude In PlayGuy Magazine

CHICAGO - Ines Sainz, a sports reporter for Azteca TV from Mexico, has caused quite a controversy since she appeared in the locker room of the NFL New York Jets. Sainz, who wears her jeans tighter than possibly any woman in the history of jean wea...

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Andrew Flintoff Retires From Cricket After It Begins To Interfere With His Drinking

Funny story: Andrew Flintoff Retires From Cricket After It Begins To Interfere With His Drinking

Andrew Flintoff, the man who, for the last eleven years, has been at the forefront of English cricket, has this week called time on his wonderful career after he claimed it was starting to interfere with his drinking. In an 11-year Test career, th...

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Terry's Hat-Trick

'It was so exciting, Mum' exclaimed Penny 'Terry was really great. The best player on the pitch. He scored three goals and the second one was a real blinder. The Hoofers won 3-2. Terry says that he was approached after the game by a Leyton Orient scout.' 'My goodness. He must be good. Perhaps he will get an offer to play in their team.' 'No, he's too young for that but they have an under 16...

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Scandal as Premier League Star Sleeps With Own Wife

Funny story: Scandal as Premier League Star Sleeps With Own Wife

Manchester: Shocking news reverberates around the city as news came to light that a premier league star had actually slept with his wife last weekend and not some 2nd rate hooker. The NTNON Team has obtained secret text messages between the un-nam...

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Local Man Declines Discount Offer Of Nude Miley Cyrus, Emma Watson, And Selena Gomez Pics

Funny story: Local Man Declines Discount Offer Of Nude Miley Cyrus, Emma Watson, And Selena Gomez Pics

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, currently recuperating from a broken thumb, a suspected broken arm, a cut eyebrow, a 'both ends' mystery virus, a probing lady doctor and most recently, a purple toe - sustained by a falling Le Creuset casserole dish, w...

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ESPN Replaces Ines Sainz with Helen Thomas

ESPN President George Bodenheimer announced today that effective immediately ESPN is replacing sports reporter Ines Sainz with Helen Thomas. Bodenheimer said, "It took a long time for women to make it into the men's locker rooms where the men are...

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George Michael Is Not Pregnant

Funny story: George Michael Is Not Pregnant

Sources from close to those in the know, who may or may not be directly involved with Her Majesty's Prison Service (but probably not) today issued a vehement rebuff to suggestions from certain commentators that former Wham! star George Michael has fa...

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Big Brother Africa To Release Tiger Into House

Funny story: Big Brother Africa To Release Tiger Into House

Big Brother may have run its course in the UK last week with Brian Dowling taking the Ultimate BB crown, but the show still rolls on in the rest of the world, and nowhere is it more exciting than in Africa, where TV chiefs plan to release a tiger int...

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George Michael Unhappy at Prison Strip Search

George Michael has made a formal complaint at HMP Pentonville about the conduct of a strip search he received during his reception there. He said a prison officer lifted up his penis and stroked it three times. He has, allegedly, said on his compl...

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Pope Introduces Salute to Vatican

Funny story: Pope Introduces Salute to Vatican

A major row has erupted during the Pope's visit to the UK over reports that he has introduced Hitler Youth style salutes which Bishops must do every time they meet him. They raise their left hand and shout Heil Benedict. The Pope strenuously denied t...

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Popemobile Can Go "Like Shit Off A Stick" Claims Security Officer

Funny story: Popemobile Can Go "Like Shit Off A Stick" Claims Security Officer

Following the arrest of five men involved in a reported plot to harm His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI, a senior Scotland Yard security officer has spoken out in order to reassure Roman Catholics that any danger to His Holiness, the Pontiff is minimal.

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Borat Won't Be Playing Freddie Mercury - It Was All A Hoax, Claims Buffty Ginslinger.

Funny story: Borat Won't Be Playing Freddie Mercury - It Was All A Hoax, Claims Buffty Ginslinger.

Skoob Entertainment News Supremo Buffty Ginslinger, was quick to pour cold water on reports that Borat/Bruno star, Sacha Baron Cohen is to play Freddie Mercury in an upcoming biopic, co-produced by Robert DeNiro's TriBeCa Productions company. "Non...

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A Sexed Up Daybreak? Do We Really Need To See Adrian Chiles And Christine Bleakley Getting Jiggy First Thing In The Morning?

Funny story: A Sexed Up Daybreak? Do We Really Need To See Adrian Chiles And Christine Bleakley Getting Jiggy First Thing In The Morning?

Rumour has it that Daybreak presenters, Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley have been instructed by TV bosses to 'sex it up' in order to boost flagging ratings for their early morning TV show. Chiles and Bleakley have emphatically denied receivin...

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Five Paedophile Suspects Arrested in Pretend Pope Plot

Funny story: Five Paedophile Suspects Arrested in Pretend Pope Plot

Believers say "It's a miracle!" as Pope appears in Five Places at Once but Vigilant Police Soon Smell a Rat. Five alleged members of a paedophile ring are in custody today as police uncovered a plot to drive around in public dressed as the Pope in...

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Spoof Popemobile stunt staged by online bookies Aintgottaprayer.con

Funny story: Spoof Popemobile stunt staged by online bookies Aintgottaprayer.con

London - (Pope-on-the-Ropes Mess): The cyber spreadbetting site's waggish stunt follows the release of stupendous 6/4 odds predicting the Pope will be thrown in the Tower of London following his evil Consort Queen Elizabeth's Yom Kippur death tomorro...

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NYT/CBS Poll: WSJ/NBC Suck!

Funny story: NYT/CBS Poll: WSJ/NBC Suck!

NEW YORK, NY - The NYT and CBS just released a joint poll which finds that NYT readers think that "The WSJ is a POS rag, good for nothing other than lining the parakeet's cage" and CBS viewers think that "NBC is a washed up, socialist network that ha...

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Yom Kippur omen as giant Turin Shroud-shaped cloud hovers over Hyde Park

Funny story: Yom Kippur omen as giant Turin Shroud-shaped cloud hovers over Hyde Park

London - (Benny & The Jets News): An Eve Of Atonement Cumulo-Nimby formation has been spotted sizing up the Pope's rostrum in Hyde Park. Located close to Tyburn the vigil arena is slap bang in the middle of London's famous gallows site where c...

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Pope helps on a Gateshead market stall

Funny story: Pope helps on a Gateshead market stall

Pope Benedict surprised everybody, including his security retinue on his visit to Gateshead today. As part of his tour he visited Gateshead market where local stall holder, Bahja Singh has his Soap-on-a-rope stall. In honour of the visit, Singh ha...

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Nuns get cavity search in preparation for Pope coming

Funny story: Nuns get cavity search in preparation for Pope coming

Police were frisking monks and nuns today as crowds turned out for the Pope's first public engagement on English soil. Amid tight security, guests queued in a good-natured fashion despite fears of an unruly crowd, organisers were preparing to ask...

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Negotiations Break Down Between Barney Frank & Dancing With the Stars Over Partner's Gender!

Funny story: Negotiations Break Down Between Barney Frank & Dancing With the Stars Over Partner's Gender!

Just as 'Dancing with the Stars' producers were set to announce that Congressman Barney Frank would appear on the popular show in order to counterbalance the appearance of Bristol Palin, the light footed Frank demanded more concessions which have thr...

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New iPhone weight app hastily recalled

Funny story: New iPhone weight app hastily recalled

Apple released their latest applelet for the iPhone called iWeigh, and then recalled it within five hours after a barrage of complaints. Once the new applelet is downloaded onto the phone, the resistance of the screen can be used to weigh objects.

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SuBo fanatics held in custody!

Funny story: SuBo fanatics held in custody!

A gaggle of American Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies, on route to Scotland, have spent their first night in jail after attempting to smuggle SuBo into the country. The trouble started at Heathrow airport, when the loonies were seen...

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Local man gets taken roughly up the back passage by sat-nav

Funny story: Local man gets taken roughly up the back passage by sat-nav

A Local man seeking the golden beaches of Crapham Down, near Beachy Head, East Sussex, was disappointed when his GPS navigation system led him 400 miles off course, landing him instead, in the industrial northern town of Pisser Clough, near Widdop, W...

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Bath Dignatories shocked

The claim made by a Spoof writer that a pubic hair was found in Bath has created a storm that threatens the future of Spoof. 'We have been searching for this pubic hair high and low' said a frustrated local policeman 'it is not a pleasant job, but somebody has to do it.' In vain Spoof representatives tried to assure the people of Bath that the reference to a pubic hair in bath meant a bath w...

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Maddie: was the Pope involved?

Funny story: Maddie: was the Pope involved?

As the Pope touched down in England this morning, the storm of controversy surrounding his state visit increased as it emerged that The Sun newspaper has linked the disappearance of Maddie to the Pope's whereabouts three years ago. Maddie, whose p...

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Pope's immigration request refused

Funny story: Pope's immigration request refused

A request to Britain's Immigration authorities for Pope Benedict to live in the UK has been turned down. An official from the Authority told stunned reporters that due to the Pope's difficulty with speaking English he could not be allowed to reside h...

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Father Dougal McGuire: "If the UK is a third world Country, why are the Roman Catholic Church accepting money from the UK to pay for the Pope's ecumenical visit?"

Funny story: Father Dougal McGuire: "If the UK is a third world Country, why are the Roman Catholic Church accepting money from the UK to pay for the Pope's ecumenical visit?"

Craggy Island Parish Hall: Very little happens in Craggy Island Parish to be reported internationally, but in this series of news reports we examine the impact that the Popes visit to the United Kingdom is having on some of the far flung outposts of Britains former colonies and Empire. At Craggy Island Parish Hall, to coincide with the Popes first day in Britain, a 'special' spiritual ecumenic...

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I "Heart" You Being Replaced by I "Teeth" You as Hip Bumper Sticker

Funny story: I "Heart" You Being Replaced by I "Teeth" You as Hip Bumper Sticker

The runaway success of the Twilight movies and Vampire Diaries series has spawned a new teen trend that is both disturbing and dangerous. But, just like the characters they idolize, young people are willing to take a risk for love. The habit of bi...

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Foxord University Faculty of Psychiatry says: 'Mental illness not linked to violence'

Funny story: Foxord University Faculty of Psychiatry says: 'Mental illness not linked to violence'

Research just published by Foxord University has made the bold claim that there is no link between mental illness and violence. Professor Bertram Doodle-McFuckwit, Dean of the Faculty of Psychiatry, described the ground-breaking results of the st...

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Wealthiest Americans Expected to Seek Asylum with Lakota Nation to Avoid Federal Taxes

Funny story: Wealthiest Americans Expected to Seek Asylum with Lakota Nation to Avoid Federal Taxes

Three years ago a delegation of four Oglala Sioux Tribe members took their Declaration of Sovereignty to Washington, D.C. declaring themselves a separate nation. While the declaration has not been formally accepted by the United States State Departme...

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Australian Government solves the boat people and labour shortage with 'One Policy' solution

Under mounting media pressure, the Australian government has devised an extraordinary policy to deal with the growing influx of illegal boat people. What has been described as the 'one policy solution', the Australian Minister for Immigration, Satish...

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Azteca Reporter Ines Sainz to Interview President Clinton: "Somebody'll be throwing balls at her, I promise," says Clinton

Sexy, super-hot reporter Ines Sainz, who is pissed-off at the New York Jets for treating her like a sexy, super-hot reporter, will be on special assignment this week, interviewing randy former president Bill Clinton. "I is so excite to see Mr. Pre...

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YouTube Video - Make it Stop, Please Make it Stop!

This YouTube music video which has been making the rounds for a couple of years now has resurfaced after lying dormant for months. The insidious effects of this video are enough to drive some people, especially those suffering from ADHD and ADD to the brink of madness. I am writing this article merely to warn those who have not seen the video to ignore it at all costs if it comes across your co...

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Freak Tornado Destroys 1 Bedroom Apartment in Perth Amboy, NJ; 842 Left Homeless

Funny story: Freak Tornado Destroys 1 Bedroom Apartment in Perth Amboy, NJ; 842 Left Homeless

A freak tornado touched down in the Nueva Puerto Rico section of Perth Amboy, NJ this evening, destroying a 450 sq. ft., 1 bedroom apartment. Fortunately, none of the 842 occupants were injured, but all are left homeless. "Que fue, prima?" asked r...

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Britain stands ready to fight off Papal threat

Funny story: Britain stands ready to fight off Papal threat

From our Farmer's Weekly undercover reporter in Rome - Whilst Pope Ratshitter has criticised the moral and religious decline of Britain, and our inability to resist the daily temptations of pornography, alcohol, drugs, sex and rock 'n'roll, there are...

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Kelly Osbourne Confesses She Has Fallen Madly In Love With Chace Crawford

Funny story: Kelly Osbourne Confesses She Has Fallen Madly In Love With Chace Crawford

SANTA MONICA BEACH, California - Kelly Osbourne was spotted sunning herself on Santa Monica Beach with none other than the star of Gossip Girl, Chace Crawford, by her side. Kelly wore a skimpy pink bikini swimsuit that looks like it could have com...

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National Weather Service Predicts Tornadoes at New Jersey Shore, Issues Useless Warnings

Funny story: National Weather Service Predicts Tornadoes at New Jersey Shore, Issues Useless Warnings

The National Weather Service issued a cryptic, unintelligible and essentially useless tornado warning for parts of Monmouth and Ocean counties, New Jersey this evening as a heavy band of severe thunderstorms moved across the state bringing damaging w...

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Editors, Some People Say, That it is Believed That Many are of the Opinion that Weasel Words Should be Eliminated, Most Feel

Funny story: Editors, Some People Say, That it is Believed That Many are of the Opinion that Weasel Words Should be Eliminated, Most Feel

Many editors, experts declare, and it is often reported, that what it is widely thought to be "weasel words" should be eliminated, research has shown. "Science says that weasel words, it was proven, present what can appear to be supporting opinion...

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