Written by anthonyrosania

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

image for What Does The Eagles Say to The QB Who Goes 37-58, 459 yds, 3 TDs, 0 INT, And Rushes For 140 Rushing Yards in 1 1/2 Games?

The question on the lips of football fans from Kennett Square to some northern Pennsylvanian town where Eagles fans reside is "Will The Philadelphia Eagles Start The QB Who Is The Best Athlete On The Team Or Bobby Hoying II?"

Coach Andy Reid has already answered: "It is contrary to every sacred cow that exists in the NFL today to have a QB lose his job because of an injury. And we are not going to fix the piss-poor decision we made in naming Kolb the starter now.

"If you want to start in the NFL, kill an animal that's not nicknamed 'man's best friend'."


PLAYER STATISTICS


MICHAEL VICK

PROS: 37-58, 459 yds, 3 TDs, 0 INT, And Rushes For 140 Rushing Yards in 1 1/2 Games.

CONS: Killed Lassie.

KEVIN KOLB

PROS: Won starting job during intense QB competition during training camp. Oh, wait, that didn't happen. Because Vick, you know, would've won that competition and entered NFL 2010 as the starter. And we would've been 2-0.

CONS: None.


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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