Lindsay Lohan's Next Diva Performance Act Will Be From Prison

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan's Next Diva Performance Act Will Be From Prison

LOS ANGELES - It is as if spoiled little rich blonde girls Paris "No Brains" Hilton and Lindsay "No Brains" Lohan are running the Kentucky Derby and trying to see who can get to go to prison the most times. Both bimbo blondes are perfect examples...

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Cats compete to get Most Popular news story on the BBC website

Funny story: Cats compete to get Most Popular news story on the BBC website

Cats from all over the world are now competing with each other to get their story of alleged cruelty to be the most read on the BBC's news website. Attention seeking moggies are literally falling over themselves to make their owners look like the...

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Free Political Prisoner Lindsay Lohan: Our Country Is At Stake.

Funny story: Free Political Prisoner Lindsay Lohan: Our Country Is At Stake.

The phrase "political prisoner" is no longer laminated into the radical mind as it once was. Its slapdash overuse in the 60s and 70s, like the words "genocide" or "fascist pig," has rendered it neuter in today's language. Yet, those that toil under bright sun, or spend 23 hours a day stuffed in the back of a poured-concrete cell --counting the long hours between 1-hour-pardons for exercise-- ar...

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Cookie Monster Duet with Coldplay Banned

Funny story: Cookie Monster Duet with Coldplay Banned

Following a pretty weird video of Katy Perry bulging out of a green dress thing on the Sesame Street, the producers were pretty keen to get some more child-friendly talent into the studios. Unfortunately, as Justin Beiber was busy getting bottles...

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Cameron's baby "Slept in a box of cornflakes"

Funny story: Cameron's baby "Slept in a box of cornflakes"

David Cameron's latest bundle of joy spent the first month of her life living in a cardboard box. "We didn't have a cot, so we let her sleep in a box of cornflakes. That was fine until we went to open the box for our morning breakfast. It was like...

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They have got to be joking

Funny story: They have got to be joking

It is reported today that, Her Majestys Revenue and Customs (HMRC) would like to see all employees wage slips so that rates of Income Tax can be properly applied. Are they serious? There are alleged to be £42 billion uncollected tax contributio...

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CSI Miami, Horatio breaks sunglasses, telephones IT helpdesk by mistake

Funny story: CSI Miami, Horatio breaks sunglasses, telephones IT helpdesk by mistake

It's all go for David Caruso, star of CSI Miami, filming here, filming there, nipping to the shops to buy factor 1000 sun cream for his lily white skin, due to being a ginger in the sunniest place on the planet. Apparently he was on set the other...

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Mexico's Most Powerful Drug Cartel, In Order To Show That It's Not So Bad, Vows To Ban Bullfighting In Mexico

Funny story: Mexico's Most Powerful Drug Cartel, In Order To Show That It's Not So Bad, Vows To Ban Bullfighting In Mexico

TULUM, Mexico - Nestled just outside of the ancient Mayan village of Tulum is Casa Buckingham, the exquisite fortress like headquarters of one of Mexico' top drug cartels, The Green Guacamole Drug Cartel of the state of Yucatan. The castle-like en...

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James Madison: Is He The Man We Think He Is?

Funny story: James Madison: Is He The Man We Think He Is?

It's been historically proven that James Madison is a homosexual. Historian I. Lovetosuckpenis has found records in the parchment where everything that happened during the Constitutional Convention is recorded that James Madison frequently left the Convention with his fly down, and when his chair was carefully observed under a black light, large white splatters appeared. "We think he was jac...

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Queen Visits Pawn Shops to Pawn Crown

Funny story: Queen Visits Pawn Shops to Pawn Crown

It has emerged today that Her Royal Trout, The Queen Elizabeth of Ye Olde England, has been trying to pawn her "rather elaborate and heavy crown" through several pawn shops in the London area. Following a recent investigation into Her Majesties ap...

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Monica Lewinsky Reveals She Used Clinton's "RED PHONE" For Sex

Funny story: Monica Lewinsky Reveals She Used Clinton's "RED PHONE" For Sex

In a shocking new book scheduled for release in time for Christmas purchases, Monica Lewinsky describes how she used then President Clinton's secure "RED PHONE" for sexual chatter and clitoral stimulation. This phone, which is supposed to be enabled...

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Independents Turn Against Major Parties, Offer Role of President to John Goodman

A group of independent voters numbering in the tens-of-thousands announced Thursday that it has offered the role of president to actor John Goodman. The group, COME ON, started out as a modest internet bulletin board but quickly blossomed into a nat...

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ABBA have been adopted by Danish Nazi's, Mamma Pia!

Funny story: ABBA have been adopted by Danish Nazi's, Mamma Pia!

ABBA those Swedish lovelies from way back when have relaunched their career as a "radical right band"! Benny and Bjorn decided to jump on the band wagon as an extreme right political party in Denmark adopted their song Mamma Mia and changed it to...

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Woman Sues State of Florida, Wants to Marry Her Dog

Judy Shriver of Clearwater Florida sued the state of Florida to allow her to marry her dog Rover, who has been her partner for the last five years. Judy Shriver is not alone in her quest to legalize marriage between people and animals. She has received over ten thousand letters so far offering her donations to cover her legal costs as well as words of encouragement. This is her story. Wh...

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A Day In The Life Of Obama As Seen Through FOX News

Funny story: A Day In The Life Of Obama As Seen Through FOX News

Media experts have been observing a recent trend in how seemingly simple events are portrayed by our news sources. Radical interpretations of ordinary incidents in the lives of the famous seem to be going through major distortions. How we perceive events in our reality is colored by prejudices, opinions and attitudes that we already have present in our minds. Nowhere is this more evident t...

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Nostradamus Pavlov Kutcher Brittany Murphy Brittney Jones Brit Spears

Funny story: Nostradamus Pavlov Kutcher Brittany Murphy Brittney Jones Brit Spears

Nostradamus was born in France in 1503. He stared into a bowl of water to see his prophecies. He loved to bowl and stargaze. They didn't have automatic pin setup; they used Inquisition victims. Nostradamus predicted the three Antichrists, Napoleon, Hitler and the daily mentor of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iranian Ayatollah Mesbah Yazdi, Nostradamus' Third Antichrist. Now Nostradamus has been linked to f...

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Secret Message To Followers Proves That Socialists Are Taking Over America

Funny story: Secret Message To Followers Proves That Socialists Are Taking Over America

IMPORTANT!! IF YOU ARE NOT A CARD CARRYING MEMBER OF "CONFEDERATION OF SOCIALISTS INTENT ON BRINGING DOWN THE CAPITALIST DRAGON AMERICA", THEN DO NOT READ THIS! Comrades!! The situation is dire! Our plans lay fast in rubble before us! Our goal to subjugate the great capitalistic tyrant the United States and lead them to the glories of socialism has run aground. The attempt to sneak Mar...

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Tree dwelling hamsters found in Essex

Funny story: Tree dwelling hamsters found in Essex

A colony of hamsters has been discovered living in a tree within the Lakeside shopping centre near Grays Thurrock in Essex. A spokesman for the 200 acre site, boasting 250 retail outlets and parking for 13,000 cars explained that as an eco-friendl...

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Don't dream it's over, it won't be for Susan Boyle on her Perfect Day come November

Funny story: Don't dream it's over, it won't be for Susan Boyle on her Perfect Day come November

The long awaited second CD from Susan Boyle looks set to break all her own records. Pre order numbers are reported to be startling. Susan, has chosen several Christmas standards, sure to surprise and delight many. It's wonderful that she manages t...

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C-SPAN to Launch Two Comedy Networks - C-SPIN and C-SPUN

Funny story: C-SPAN to Launch Two Comedy Networks - C-SPIN and C-SPUN

WASHINGTON, DC - Landel Hobbs, Chairman of C-SPAN, announced today that the company would be launching two comedy channels, C-SPIN and C-SPUN. The announcement came after Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central's Colbert Report appeared on C-SPAN testif...

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Superduper Hooker Booker

Funny story: Superduper Hooker Booker

It is reported that a new website, available only to those with loadsofmoney, has caught the attention of very rich, very silly and very cocky professionals in the UK. Googling, superduperhookerbooker will get you into the site but a password is r...

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Latest craze hits UK, spraying "pussies" pink!

Funny story: Latest craze hits UK, spraying "pussies" pink!

It's all the rage and "pussies" are being sprayed different colours (mainly pink) all over the UK. Animal protectionists are not happy about this latest fashion in pet-keeping but have to admit, every "pussy" owner can do what they want with it (a...

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Dog Marriage Blamed on Local Gays

Funny story: Dog Marriage Blamed on Local Gays

(Garden Grove, CA - September 23, 2010)… A nightmarish prophecy from Evangelical Christians came to fruition early Thursday morning when it was revealed that local pets "Trooper" and "Cookie" were joined in holy matrimony. California, historica...

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Derek Hough's Girlfriend Cheryl Cole's Vajazzled Vagina Has Just Been Named The Sexiest In The World

Funny story: Derek Hough's Girlfriend Cheryl Cole's Vajazzled Vagina Has Just Been Named The Sexiest In The World

WEST HOLLYWOOD - One of the stars of Dancing With The Stars Derek Hough and his gorgeously stunning English girlfriend Cheryl Cole were sitting in a booth at El Taco Terrifico Diner having breakfast. The two have recently been named by several lea...

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Elmo Caught Upskirting Katy Perry on Sesame Street

Funny story: Elmo Caught Upskirting Katy Perry on Sesame Street

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Katy Perry will not be appearing in the Season Premiere of PBS's Sesame Street. The video was pulled after parents complained of too much cleavage being shown by Ms. Perry. After pulling the segment, it was discovered that Elmo had...

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Moyles Attacks BBC Over Non Payment Of Wages

Radio 1 DJ Chris Moyles has launched a scathing on-air attack on the BBC after it emerged he has not been paid for two months. The motormouth presenter seethed "I'm only earning 40 grand a month as it is. How do they expect me to live on that? Wou...

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Democrats Throw Barney Frank Under the Anti-Gay Bus

Funny story: Democrats Throw Barney Frank Under the Anti-Gay Bus

WASHINGTON, DC - In an effort to regain traction in the upcoming midterm elections, Congressional Democrats threw Congressman Barney Frank under the Anti-Gay Bus, driven by Republican Senator Saxby Chambliss. Chambliss was driving the bus emblazon...

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Facebook Outage - CIA Plot

Funny story: Facebook Outage - CIA Plot

Government departments reported a 73% increase in productivity for Sept 23, 2010. Walmart and blockbuster along with many other retailers noticed a sharp spike in sales of everything. One has to wonder if the Facebook outage was not part of som...

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Dr Jazz Saves the Day

Terry and Penny were worried about the 2nd great meeting between the Smith's and the Smythes. However to the youngsters delight it appeared that their respective fathers had discovered something in common. Traditional Jazz. They were all going to an open air concert at Hampton Court to hear a band from New Orleans. Penny had feared the audience would consist of a load of old fogies but when the...

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Large Halon Collider Discovers New Particles

Funny story: Large Halon Collider Discovers New Particles

Over the last 2 years scientists in Switzerland have been using the Large Halon Colider to find the elusive GOD particle. In their pursuit of the GOD particle they have discovered several other known but unproven particles including the DEVIL part...

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Another nail in Kate and Gerry coffin as Maddie-slam website cleared of fraud

Funny story: Another nail in Kate and Gerry coffin as Maddie-slam website cleared of fraud

Essex - (Whodunnit Mess): The founder of a website questioning Madeleine McCann abduction theories has seen fraud allegations scotched by Essex police. Retired lawyer Tony Bennet's Madeleine Foundation regularly slammed Kate and Gerry McCann for r...

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Pakistan helps out India

Funny story: Pakistan helps out India

In an impressive display of Commonwealth Solidarity the Government of Pakistan has offered help to the Indian Games Federation over the accommodation requirements for the Commonwealth Games. 'We have housing we can put at your disposal which will...

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Pap' chap sues Perry, sneaky flash snap of Vajazzled "Brand-trap" scraps pap's cam.

Funny story: Pap' chap sues Perry, sneaky flash snap of Vajazzled "Brand-trap" scraps pap's cam.

Oh Lordy the troubles I've seen, not me, but them, the hard rocking pair, Brand and Perry have been in the wars of late and now the paparazzo that allegedly attempted to take a saucy snap up Katy Perry's petticoat is suing the "I kissed a girl" star...

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Wizard of Oz Found Behind Kansas Voting Curtain

Funny story: Wizard of Oz Found Behind Kansas Voting Curtain

Early voting was suspended in Kansas yesterday when reports came out of several voting districts that the same man looking like a dead ringer for the Wizard of Oz was found coming from behind voting curtains with a screwdriver and muttering the words...

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Swaziland minister 'was hiding in the Queen's bed'

Funny story: Swaziland minister 'was hiding in the Queen's bed'

London - (Reuterus & Bad Ass Mess): Former Swazi Justice Minister Ndumiso Mamba has been caught hiding in the Queen's bed at Buckingham Palace it has been reviled - er...revealed! "We caught the bastard under the bedclothes of Her Majesty's fo...

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Lynx admits deoderant is not chick magnet

Funny story: Lynx admits deoderant is not chick magnet

In a controversial press conference today, CEO of Lynx deodorant, Hubert Smith, confessed that his product would not guarantee multitudes of women. This admission comes after pending class action law suits against the company by hundreds of women-...

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Facebook crashes. Calls IT helpdesk.

Funny story: Facebook crashes. Calls IT helpdesk.

There was an incident yesterday when Facebook, the popular party advertising website, crashed. Details are sketchy, although more information is coming in by the moment. Apparently, the social network was driving along the Infobahn when another we...

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Scotland Yard chief Sir Paul Stephenson, admits 'psychological contract' with the public is broken.

Funny story: Scotland Yard chief Sir Paul Stephenson, admits 'psychological contract' with the public is broken.

Scotland Yard, London: An example of what Scotland Yard chief Sir Paul Stephenson, admits as the 'psychological contract' with the public being broken, is when a tin of pink emulsion paint dumped over a two-year old silver Chevrolet and the deflatio...

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Sixty-nine David Beckham stunt doubles have copper-bottomed alibis

Funny story: Sixty-nine David Beckham stunt doubles have copper-bottomed alibis

London - (Reuterus): This morning's headcount of professional Beckham impersonators and stunt doubles has produced a squeaky-clean sheet. Rippling six-pack hunk Andy Harmer - renowned for his ball-handling skills as featured in Sky One's LA with t...

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Colonel Juan's UN Presentation Sparks a Chord: New Yorkers Stone Ahmadinejad!

Funny story: Colonel Juan's UN Presentation Sparks a Chord: New Yorkers Stone Ahmadinejad!

Special Spoof Ambassador at large, Colonel Juan Bolivar, appearing for the first time at the UN after his recent fact finding mission to Auschwitz, managed to accomplish what no other speaker, including Barry Obama, has been abel to do, summon up out...

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Wayne Rooney Sleeps With Exotic Gibbon

Funny story: Wayne Rooney Sleeps With Exotic Gibbon

Further allegations in the seedy personal life of footballing fiend Wayne Rooney have come to light this week. His marriage already hangs in the balance due to several infidelities with hotel-room prostitutes, but a shocking confession from a tra...

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Facebook Geek Saves World From Disaster

Funny story: Facebook Geek Saves World From Disaster

Silicon Valley USA: Facebook went off line for 20 minutes last night, causing the asteroid Armageddon13 to change course for earth. Military scientists have known Armageddon 13 to pose a serious threat to earth for 17 years. Facebook was conceive...

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Aunty caught on CCTV dumping Chris Moyles.

Funny story: Aunty caught on CCTV dumping Chris Moyles.

Radio One, breakfast morning Deejay, Chris Moyles is a cock!. Its true, his cheery good morning wake up call is akin to the 'cock-a-doodle-doo' of the farmyard bird, although his cheery morning alarm has become a little less chearsome of late due to...

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Facebook crashed

Funny story: Facebook crashed

Last night, at about five to ten (GMT), Farcebook, the popular Social Networking site, crashed. The crash last ten minutes, until just before five past ten (GMT). Unfortunately, ten million people suffered crop failures, eight million failed to up...

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The Dream Cabinet

Funny story: The Dream Cabinet

Politics is a grey old business these days. Bland, sterile and media savvy types, who deliver policy through sound bites and press releases, seem to have taken over. There is enough spin to dry a week's washing. Where has the passion and vision gone? Where has the patriotism and loyalty gone, that once drove great men to serve their country. Who is there now who compares with Disraeli, Gladston...

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Neil Armstrong finally "tops Moon Landing feeling": Exclusive interview

Funny story: Neil Armstrong finally "tops Moon Landing feeling": Exclusive interview

Astronaut Neil Armstrong has revealed that finally, after 41 years of waiting, he has topped that incredible moon landing feeling. In a heartfelt interview, Armstrong spoke at length of the joyous moment on July 20, 1969 when he ushered in anew er...

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The List of Ten Rejected Automobile Names For 2011

Funny story: The List of Ten Rejected Automobile Names For 2011

Every summer Cordell "Carburetor" Fitzwalter spends an entire month traveling throughout America's dozens of automobile corporate industry offices in the capacity of chief senior executive writer for Showroom Floor Extensively Illustrated Semi-Monthly Magazine. Mr. Fitzwater conducts hundreds of interviews with corporate CEO's, Presidents, and Directors of the various automotive departments in...

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Demi Moore Furious At Husband Ashton Kutcher's Womanizing - She Says She Wants To Date Justin Bieber

Funny story: Demi Moore Furious At Husband Ashton Kutcher's Womanizing - She Says She Wants To Date Justin Bieber

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Demi Moore's hair stylist, Slicky Pomade of Pomona, has revealed that his long time client Ms. Moore aka Mrs. Ashton Kutcher is extremely furious over the infidelity allegations regarding her boy toy husband of five years. Moore...

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Sealed Knot Operation Desert Storm re-enactment hampered by lack of planes

Funny story: Sealed Knot Operation Desert Storm re-enactment hampered by lack of planes

The Sealed Knot's recent re-enactment of an episode from the First Gulf War has been condemned by spectators as the worst yet. The attempt to recreate the aerial bombing campaign, during which coalition forces dropped 88,500 tonnes of bombs in an...

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Latest Stonehenge revelation: Neolithic man used goal-line technology

Funny story: Latest Stonehenge revelation: Neolithic man used goal-line technology

A recent historical excavation of Stonehenge has shocked the sports world by proving footballers of the Neolithic period employed goal-line technology. It is the latest exciting development regarding the prehistoric megalith, following on from las...

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Blair insists "Iraq is my own private matter"

Funny story: Blair insists "Iraq is my own private matter"

Tony Blair has reacted angrily to persistent questioning about the legitimacy of the war in Iraq by insisting the issue is, and always was, his "own private matter". Currently engaging on a promotional tour for his book, "A Journey", Blair admitte...

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Team England Ashes Profiles

With the England squad due to tour Australia this winter announced today, we profile the men who will be going own Under to lose the Ashes. Andrew Strauss - England Captain and all round nice guy despite being born in South Africa, Strauss is apparently not good enough to play one day cricket for England. However, if your name isn't Darren Gough, Alec Stewart or Derek Pringle, Strauss has been...

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How's about that then? Cameron appoints Jimmy Saville to Fix Broken Britain

Funny story: How's about that then? Cameron appoints Jimmy Saville to Fix Broken Britain

Prime Minister David Cameron has unveiled his latest weapon in his fight to fix Broken Britain - former TV presenter Jimmy Saville. The silver-haired octogenarian, famous for his children's show "Jim'll Fix It" will set to work this week by tackli...

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