Workshy Chav Father Of Twelve Battered Senseless

Written by Skoob1999

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

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Ner Ner Ner Ner! Chav For ICU!

Independent observers have warned about this sort of thing for years, and it finally happened last night.

Workshy chav, Delorian Sedgewick was battered senseless and hospitalised by the irate father of his latest beau, as he started what has been described as 'taking liberties.'

Delorean Sedgewick, who has fifteen children by thirteen different mothers and has never worked a day in his life, was allegedly battered senseless by Barry Glover, 42, the father of Moonbeam Glover, Sedgewick's latest conquest.

Describing himself as 'quite liberal minded' Glover explained that Sedgewick's inconsiderate behaviour had caused him to snap and put the boot in. He explained:

"I can live with the fact that he's never worked a day in his life. I understand about his brood of benefit dependent kids, and I can live with that too. Although I don't care for it much. I could even live with him shagging my little girl in our lounge, but when the dirty bastard wiped his cock on the wife's best velvet curtains, I just snapped."

Glover is expected to appear before magistrates tomorrow, accused of ABH, GBH, TCP, and TNT.

He didn't ask for any other offences to be taken into consideration.

Delorean Sedgewick is currently on life support in the ICU.

Just goes to show that wiping your cock on somebody else's curtains is not only a bad thing to do - it can also be extremely hazardous to health.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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