Moaning

Funny story written by walter

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

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The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Some linguists say language came about as an imitation of natural sounds -howling, ‎barking, baying, etc. On the other hand, bible says people, at the beginning, spoke one ‎language! One day, they decided to build a tower to reach heaven. God didn't like it at ‎all, so he 'confound their ‎language', and, thus, people ceased to 'understand one ‎another's speech'. ‎

Whatever. We may safely presume that man started singing much earlier than his ‎invention of language, cymbals, hand-bells, etc. Later, poetry appeared: rhyme, foot, ‎meter…Amongst the poets of history, there appeared a man who sang out a series of ‎unfamiliar lyrics accompanied by queer sounds or rather ululation. He was rejected ‎outright by the prominent poets of the time, but the new vocalist did not budge an inch. ‎To the poets' astonishment, the vocalist managed to gather a number of odd people ‎around him, who did not understand a word of his lyrics, but somehow enjoyed the ‎ululation.‎

First, nobody took him seriously until the presence of the vocalist picked some ‎momentum which made the lords of the time uncomfortable. On the other hand, the ‎encouraged vocalist continued adding more notes, which jolted the lords, but the lords ‎remained undecided since the whole affair looked just like routine people's business.‎

However, when they observed the gathering of a group of queer people around him, ‎they regretted their negligence. Now, poets and singers joined the lords and flatly ‎rejected the vocalist's voice and lyrics. To them the lyrics were/is synthetically and ‎semantically unacceptable. But somehow they missed a point: the vocalist did have a ‎touching tone. ‎

Anyway, they rationalized that he was no threat to the society because his lyrics were a ‎bunch of jimble-jumble-mash-mesh signs and symbols. Of course, they were mostly ‎about sex, female children, boys or girls, with translucent skins, poultry meat, drinking ‎best wine from running springs of red wine, and all the time resting on couches and ‎beds, covered with silk linen, and not worrying a bit about anything. ‎

Finally the lords and poets came to a horrifying conclusion: stupid, it is not the lyrics; it is ‎the tone he makes during his ululation. The result: the vocalist's ragtag ferocious fighters ‎attacked the lords and in no time the lords and ordinary people were defeated.‎

While alive, it was the vocalist himself who sang his numerous notes in public. After his ‎death, his successors hired new vocalists who could spectacularly imitate the dead ‎vocalist's voice, and thus all the hooligans, psychopaths, narcissists, attention seekers, ‎serial killers and you name it joined their army. Accordingly, no standard army could/can ‎withstand them. They destroyed/destroying everything in their path and took/will take ‎their children, especially virgin girls, and under-puberty boys as sex-slaves.‎

What happened/happening is comparable to Donna Summer's song but in quite ‎opposite directions. Theirs were/are misery and death; while Donna's song, 'Love to love ‎you babe', is life and hope. Some say Donna actually came dozens of time while ‎recording: "Do it to me again and again; you put me in such an awful spin in a spin; ‎when you're laying so close to me there's no place I'd rather you be than with me here."‎

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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