Funny story written by walter

Tuesday, 21 September 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

Some linguists say language came about as an imitation of natural sounds -howling, ‎barking, baying, etc. On the other hand, bible says people, at the beginning, spoke one ‎language! One day, they decided to build a tower to reach heaven. God didn't like it at ‎all, so he 'confound their ‎language', and, thus, people ceased to 'understand one ‎another's speech'. ‎

Whatever. We may safely presume that man started singing much earlier than his ‎invention of language, cymbals, hand-bells, etc. Later, poetry appeared: rhyme, foot, ‎meter…Amongst the poets of history, there appeared a man who sang out a series of ‎unfamiliar lyrics accompanied by queer sounds or rather ululation. He was rejected ‎outright by the prominent poets of the time, but the new vocalist did not budge an inch. ‎To the poets' astonishment, the vocalist managed to gather a number of odd people ‎around him, who did not understand a word of his lyrics, but somehow enjoyed the ‎ululation.‎

First, nobody took him seriously until the presence of the vocalist picked some ‎momentum which made the lords of the time uncomfortable. On the other hand, the ‎encouraged vocalist continued adding more notes, which jolted the lords, but the lords ‎remained undecided since the whole affair looked just like routine people's business.‎

However, when they observed the gathering of a group of queer people around him, ‎they regretted their negligence. Now, poets and singers joined the lords and flatly ‎rejected the vocalist's voice and lyrics. To them the lyrics were/is synthetically and ‎semantically unacceptable. But somehow they missed a point: the vocalist did have a ‎touching tone. ‎

Anyway, they rationalized that he was no threat to the society because his lyrics were a ‎bunch of jimble-jumble-mash-mesh signs and symbols. Of course, they were mostly ‎about sex, female children, boys or girls, with translucent skins, poultry meat, drinking ‎best wine from running springs of red wine, and all the time resting on couches and ‎beds, covered with silk linen, and not worrying a bit about anything. ‎

Finally the lords and poets came to a horrifying conclusion: stupid, it is not the lyrics; it is ‎the tone he makes during his ululation. The result: the vocalist's ragtag ferocious fighters ‎attacked the lords and in no time the lords and ordinary people were defeated.‎

While alive, it was the vocalist himself who sang his numerous notes in public. After his ‎death, his successors hired new vocalists who could spectacularly imitate the dead ‎vocalist's voice, and thus all the hooligans, psychopaths, narcissists, attention seekers, ‎serial killers and you name it joined their army. Accordingly, no standard army could/can ‎withstand them. They destroyed/destroying everything in their path and took/will take ‎their children, especially virgin girls, and under-puberty boys as sex-slaves.‎

What happened/happening is comparable to Donna Summer's song but in quite ‎opposite directions. Theirs were/are misery and death; while Donna's song, 'Love to love ‎you babe', is life and hope. Some say Donna actually came dozens of time while ‎recording: "Do it to me again and again; you put me in such an awful spin in a spin; ‎when you're laying so close to me there's no place I'd rather you be than with me here."‎

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more