Daily Mail readers get behind Rooney
In a surprise show of sympathy, the liberal-minded and forgiving readers of the Daily Mail have started an appeal to help Wayne Rooney redeem himself. The appeal has been started by readers in the West Sussex town of Burgess Hill. A local couple,...Read full story
Local Man In Shock As Piranha Devours Severed Penis
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock needed a stiff drink last night as what should have been a relaxing evening in with a good film and a couple of beers turned into a living nightmare. "The wife brought this movie home called 'Piranha', which she'd bou...Read full story
Donny Deutsch Offers to Buy All Korans at Burning Event
Not wanting to be outdone by his pal Donald Trump, Donny Deutsch offered today to purchase all the Korans that would be burned for the price paid plus 26 percent. As part of the bid, any new Koran would be kept at least five blocks from the World...Read full story
New York Imam tells Pastor Jones "You've been punked!"
Pastor Terry Jones of Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida, who called off a controversial Koran burning event to be held on the 9th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist atrocity in return for an assurance by the New York Imam, Feisal Abdu...Read full story
Microsoft ban X Box player because he come's from "Fort Gay", West Virginia!
"Gay is an offensive word," proclaimed Microsoft and anybody living in Fort Gay and playing on the X box will be banned from further participation. A young X Box freak was playing intensively (how else?) and mentioned the fact that he lived in For...Read full story
Tiger Woods Having Putter Problems Off The Golf Course Also
According to Tiger Woods ex, Elin Nordegren, Tiger was having some 'putter' problems even before last Thanksgiving. A source told us that he was taking two kinds of pills according to Elin and that he would have severe headaches just afterward.Read full story
President Obama to Burn Koran on Oval Office Rug
WASHINGTON, DC - President Barack Hussein Obama, frustrated with the media for ignoring his press conference this morning, vowed to regain his momentum by burning a Koran on the new Oval Office carpet this Sunday. Mr. Obama's morning press confere...Read full story
Playboy Model Panics On Plane
Playboy model and centerfold Tiffany Livingston was sitting in her seat on JetBlue Flight 522 from Orlando to Newark one minute and the next she went screaming towards the plane door. "She looked like she was trying to open the stupid door", state...Read full story
Obama's Budget Reduction Commission Co-Chair Suggests Some Suicide Prevention is "Counterproductive"
WASHINGTON,DC - Ex-Senator Alan Simpson (R-WY) raised eyebrows again today in comments he made at an event to publicize "World Suicide Prevention Day." On September 10th, events are put on to explain that suicide is a preventable tragedy and to put...Read full story
Japanese 'quantitative easing', 77,000 people aged 120 or over, 884 aged 150 or higher, claiming pensions!
Toyko, Japan: Japanese authorities have revealed that it has thousands of people listed as still alive, who have been dead for years. More than 77,000 people aged 120 or over - 884 aged 150 or higher - are listed on government records as still al...Read full story
Alice Roberts, Krestovnikoff, Hughes Fans TV Brawl
There were ugly scenes in the Newsnight studio yesterday when rival fan groups of TV presenters squared up to each other. A fist fight broke out as anchor and arch-inquisitor Jeremy Paxman tried to intervene and keep the peace. The belligerents...Read full story
Florida Preacher Announces New Mission
(WSU Gainesville FL) This morning, at a press conference at his Dove World Outreach Center, the controversial Extreme Right Reverend Terry Jones, proprietor of cult slave labor TS and Company, purveyor of reconditioned abandoned curbside furniture, a...Read full story
Jesse James and Kat Von D Purchase A Ranch In South Texas and Name It The Blue Tattoo Ranch
SAN ANTONIO - Two of the most tattooed individuals in the entire country, Jesse James and Kat Von D, have just become the proud owners of a 3,000 acre working cattle ranch 40 miles south of San Antonio. The ranch which formerly belonged to San Ant...Read full story
Kanye West Apologizes for Quran Burning Preacher
Kanye West has just posted his 1,000,001st apologetic tweet this morning. This time, he unselfishly put himself aside to apologize for Terry Jones, the Apostolic pastor from Gainesville, Florida who is threatening and then not threatening and then th...Read full story
Pastor Suspends Controversial Koran Burning... Cable News Networks Furious!
ATLANTA, GA - Jonathan Klein, president of CNN lashed out at Pastor Terry Jones's decision to suspend the burning of Korans in Florida tomorrow. "This is an outrage! Our viewers depend on us to bring them controversial news. Our shareholders deman...Read full story
Prince Poppycock and Boy George To Record A Duet Titled "Just Because We Wear Lots of Make Up Doesn't Mean We're Sissies"
WEST HOLLYWOOD - The colorfully peacockish British singer Boy George flew into L.A.s LAX Airport from Heathrow Airport in London. He had earlier talked to the lavishly elegant Prince Poppycock about the two recording a duet. The prince or Pee P...Read full story
Al Qaeda announces thousands of redundancies due to recession and liberal American Government
Terrorist organisation Al Qaeda has announced that it will be making thousands of staff across the world redundant in cost-saving exercises. The organisation's CEO, Osama Bin Laden told reporters in a pre-recorded video shot in a cave that the decisi...Read full story
CDC Warns of New Strain of Flu Virus this Fall Related to Elephants
The Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta (CDC) has come out with warnings this week of a new strain of flu that is already showing signs of being a real problem this coming fall flu season. The reports claim the flu is related to elephants. Unlike...Read full story
Springfield Tennessee Minister To Burn Koran!
Bob Terry of Florida has some competition with the Koran burning on 9-11. Springfield, Tennessee's Pastor Harold Young said his decision to burn the Islamic holy book on September 11 has nothing to do with the agenda of the pastor in Florida or t...Read full story
Rush Limbaugh and Bible-Thumping Book Burner Go Way Back
New information about Terry Jones, the Bible-thumping, Muslim-hating preacher from Gainesville, Florida is now just making the headlines. He was a high school classmate of Rush Limbaugh at Cape Central High School in Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Somethi...Read full story
Pastor Terry Jones Challenges Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf to a Cage Match
GAINESVILLE, FL - Pastor Terry Jones, the man behind 'International Burn a Koran Day' issued a challenge to Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, the man who wants to build an Islamic community center two blocks away from Ground Zero in Lower Manhattan. "I chal...Read full story
Brett Favre Not Sure They Lost To Saints, 14-9!
After Thursday night's loss to the New Orleans Saints, Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre was asked about the loss. "Did we loss? Doggone it. At least I set another record with that interception. I knew we had a bad second half but we lost?...Read full story
Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite: Eastern Iowa Infested
THEY'RE BAA-AAACK!! "Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite" has taken on a whole new meaning as Eastern Iowa residents are sleeping with one eye open these nights. As if the beleagured residents haven't had enough problems with f...Read full story
Media horrified over speculation that Pastor may do something perfectly legal despite him saying he will not
The world's media reacted in outrage today as Reverend Terry Jones said he would not burn a Koran. In a statement made under police protection, he told shocked reporters he also had no intention of killing children or raping blacks. Immediately...Read full story
Sí, lo soy, ich bin ine Le Englander, tout le monde, terminó it's rascist now, capice? Mon deu!
Une Language de Angletair ist finito daman unt herren, Le Government de Isle d'Inghilterra avec Europäisches Parlament dans le city of Brussels, says le grand NON. Nicht mehr parlez English at all, full stop, as it is now considered racist to spe...Read full story
'Dozens' of Rooney rough trade slappers gagged with privacy super injunctions
Manchester - (Gonads): Bang go the red top story sale aspirations of over a dozen bottom-feeder sluts. Today's privacy affidavit bloodbath at the High Court has quashed yet more lurid confession paycheck attempts. Mancunian hookers-turned wanna...Read full story
Lady Gaga Meat Bikini Fuels Jewish Protests
Thousands of Jews have taken to the streets across Israel, with some threatening to attack US bases over Lady Gaga's bikini made of cold cuts. A crowd, estimated at 10,000 by a government official, poured out of temples into the streets of Jerusal...Read full story
Florida Star Wars Fan Cancels Holy Star Trek Book Burning
A universally-condemned fanatic of 'Star Wars' who gained world-wide negative attention for his plan to burn the holy book of 'Star Trek' on the show's anniversary of 9/8/10, has been cancelled. Published in 1997, and sporting 630 pages of facts...Read full story
Ratzinger is Aleister Crowley's son say DNA experts
London - (Diabolical Mess): Is the Pope hiding behind a privacy super-injunction to gag genetic results about his real Pa? Scientists at the National Poisons Unit reckon the Vatican 'has moved heaven and earth' to destroy DNA specimens proving nec...Read full story
Cameron Family in shock Hindu mourning ritual
Following the sad death of Prime Minister Cameron's father the Spoof is shocked to learn that the entire family are to embrace historic Hindu rituals in the next week or so. Spoof Journalist Angie O'Gram says that the first clues came in today's T...Read full story
Queen must die to atone for 9/11 atrocity says Diabolical Liberties Union
London - (Hellfire News): The satanic frights body has issued a fat war (sic) condemning the needless public suffering behind prolonging Old Fatty Mountbatten's heinously sordid life. Recommendations for her immediate extradition to a Swiiss eutha...Read full story
Incredible Shrinking Sarkozy!
French scientists are deseperately seeking a way to stop the president, Nicolas Sarkozy, shrinking. It is feared that if they do not succeed he will be invisible to the naked eye by Christmas. Unfortunately for the President, no-one noticed his...Read full story
Derek Acorah's Spirit Guide Possesses A Dog
Derek Acorah, widely regarded as the broadband of connections to the afterlife, has recently been seen in public with an odd dog. The dog, called Abby, is often seen sporting a variety of hats, jackets and doggy bling, such as a tail piercing. It...Read full story
'Quiz-Rage' drinker lashes out at Stephen Fry
A teacher banned for life from his local after a sedate Pub Quiz evening ended in violence, says it is 'bloody Stephen Fry's fault.' Ardent quizzer Eamon O'Bohan, 52 was taking part in the weekly quiz at North Finchley's 'Elephant & Trumpet' p...Read full story
Tensions High As Soupathon Goes South
Tony Blair has just left town and it has not taken the rioters long to find their next target. Some may say that the thugs have every reason to be upset as they find that the much anticipated Soupathon 2010 (TM) is in serious doubt due to the fun kil...Read full story
SuBo unable to perform on America's Got Talent - truth revealed!
SuBo fanatics and the popular press have been speculating on why Susan Boyle was unable to perform on America's Got Talent this week, with many unwilling to accept the official reason of contractual difficulties affecting her new song. However, the t...Read full story
Tommy Cooper: "Fabio Capello may retire in 2012 as England Team Manager, when he gets older!"
Wembley, North London: In sumptuous surroundings, cigar smoke in the air and many people speaking in high class pronounced accents, with their noses in the air, everybody fell silent when the main speaker for the evening, Tommy Cooper who was already standing at the lectern, coughed to begin the lecture. "Lords Ladies and Gentlemen, may I remind all of you who are here this evening, that as st...Read full story
Rail Union Announces Anti-Strike
National Railway Museum: The British Rail Union has today announced that it has been secretly balloting members for its first anti-strike. An overwhemling majority of 98% of members have voted for the action which involves all railway staff member...Read full story
People on Welfare Say Politicians Sitting-in-the-House Lifestyle Will Come to an End
People claiming benefits have had enough of politicians lazing around the House of Commons and talking utter crap. Moreover, they are furious that they are now turning on the poor and accusing the needy of being scroungers while they claim expenses u...Read full story
Wayne Rooney Girls Plan Goodison Stunt
The girls at the centre of the Wayne Rooney scandal plan to make a public appearance at the Everton football ground tomorrow before the game with Manchester Utd. "Juicy" Jenny Thompson and Helen Wood, who allegedly performed a threesome with the M...Read full story
Rooney begs Coleen for one more chance
In an emotionally charged late night phone call, Wayne Rooney is understood to have pleaded with his soon to be ex-wife, Coleen, to give him one more chance. Friends reported that Rooney had begged her to allow him to meet up with hookers at Rio F...Read full story
Poor people ConDemmed, population cull next
Poor families and the sick will bear the brunt of new £4billion benefit cuts, according to sources yesterday, when all our troubles seamed so far away. ConDemming Chancellor George Osborne shocked MPs by saying the huge sum will be on top of £11bi...Read full story
Today's Sarah Montague dumped
Lord Lloyd Webber has cancelled the new production of My Fair Lady staring Sarah Montague which had been in production for two months. A spokesman for his company said that Ms. Montague was having trouble with her elocution. 'She was fine on the c...Read full story
New Burning Horror
A mound of computers is being assembled in a Church backyard in downtown America. The leader of a flock of geese is determined to burn them so that he can demonstrate the fury of God at internet activity. Speaking to his flock of five fellow worsh...Read full story
Gap ends 20 year sponsorship of the Tube
Gap, the clothing store giants are to end their twenty-year association with the London Tube system. For years, passengers on the underground have heard the phrase "Mind the Gap" whenever a train is pulling into the station, and now this will end.Read full story
Exciting Business Opportunity, open a TheSpoof.com Franchise.
Mark Lowton, founder and administrator of the "popular" satire internet site TheSpoof.com has today announced plans to offer the brand as a franchise opportunity to interested parties. 'I believe that the TheSpoof.com is an ideal franchise opportu...Read full story
Katie Price shows off her new penis in nude photo exclusive
Katie Price, aka Jordan, shocked the world this morning with nude pictures displaying the results of her latest cosmetic surgery....a new penis! The photographs, part of an exclusive report from 'OK' magazine, showed Jordan proudly sporting her...Read full story
Harry Redknapp In Line For England Manager's Job?
Tottenham Hotspur manager Harry Redknapp has this morning emerged as the man most likely to succeed England boss Fabio Capello when the Italian is finally ousted from his post, I can report. Redknapp, formerly boss at Bournemouth, West ham, Portsm...Read full story
Kristen Stewart, Vanessa Hudgens, Miley Cyrus, and Selena Gomez To Star In "Intimate Secrets of The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders"
HOLLYWOOD - Noted producer/director Fanton Brasshorn has just announced that he will shortly begin filming on his new movie entitled Intimate Secrets of The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Brasshorn purchased the book rights from noted sports author E...Read full story
President Obama Invites Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan To Visit The White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has stated that he has invited Hollywood celebs Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan to visit him and his wife, the "First Mama" at the White House. The president said that he is really concerned with the way things ha...Read full story
Clint Eastwood Reveals Why He Turned Down The Role of James Bond
HOLLYWOOD - Clint Eastwood, the man who made Dirty Harry a household name and was the American who pioneered spaghetti westerns revealed that many years ago he was offered the role of James Bond. Eastwood said that his hair stylist, his manager, a...Read full story
JLS Condom Puncture Scare Rumours Hit The Net
It had to happen. No sooner did boy band JLS promote safe sex by launching a brand of condoms emblazoned with their images, than internet rumours surfaced claiming that the condoms weren't reliably protective. Because they might have been puncture...Read full story
Florida Pastor to Burn New Usher CD Instead of Koran
Terry Jones, the obscure minister who heads the equally obscure Dove World Outreach Center church in Gainesville, Florida, has decided not to burn copies of the Muslim Holy Book on September 11th as planned. Jones was contacted by Defense Secretary...Read full story
Neve Campbell Stalked By Masked Man Again
Terror in the UK last night as Skoob Entertainment News showbiz supremo Buffty Ginslinger was spending a quiet night in when he happened upon a live feed of Neve Campbell, the famous Hollywood acting person, being stalked and menaced by a man wearing...Read full story
Book Burning Cancelled
Just in from Skoob News International affiliate, Bureau, the snippet king and all round good egg - the Gainesville Koran burning session to commemorate 9/11 has been cancelled. Which is a victory for common sense, human tolerance, and Elf n Safety...Read full story
Koran-Burning Cancelled After Pastor Realises He's A De*d Man
US pastor Terry Jones has cancelled his sell-out Koran-burning event late last night after he realised he was all but a dead man. Jones, pastor of the Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida, which has fewer than 50 members, had planned...Read full story