Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

image for Dancing With The Stars: After The First Show The Jersey Shore's Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino Ties For Last Place
The Jersey Shore's Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino eats three pizzas a day to help maintain his personality.

HOLLYWOOD - One of the cast members of The Jersey Shore flew in from the Right Coast to compete on the Left Coast and he did not do too good since he only got to rehearse for five days instead of fifteen days like everyone else.

Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino was kinda placed in a situation where he may begin to feel like an Italian sardine out of water.

His professional dance partner Karina Smirnoff (which is pronounced: Ka-REE-Na VOD-ka) stated that "Sitty" as she calls him has got to hover down form his New Jersey Guidoesque personality and get into a California laid back style mode.

She said that he has got to stop talking about the Guidettes, pizzas, stiletto knives, and vineyards.

"The Situation" says that he is who he is and that even the old gray-haired relic from London Len "The Rock of Ages" Goodman ain't gonna change him.

He then said that the little gay judge on the end Bruno Tonioli cannot be Italian because he (Sorrentino) has never in his life seen a gay Italian. He then said that he is probably really a Portuguese dude faking an Italian accent.

And he stated that Carrie Ann Inaba is not fooling him one bit. He smiled and said that he knows a Puerto Rican vieja (woman) when he see ones.

He then remarked that host Tom Bergeron is a lot fatter in person and he also has false teeth, he plucks his eyebrows, and he wears a codpiece.

SIDENOTE: "The Situation" has flat out said that there is no way that he or his abs are going to be the first to leave this year's edition of Dancing With The Stars.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
59 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more