There were 1,252 spoof news stories published in May 2007. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Harry Potter Actress Emma Watson Has Breast Size Enlarged in Movie Posters
Apparently, "the best witch of her generation" is not the "breast" witch of her generation. In movie posters promoting the new Harry Potter film, the Hermione Granger character has gone from a cute, perky smaller breasted teen to, abra-cadabra, a pa...
Read full storyBritney Spears Nude & Topless Photos Bare All
ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA (HOLLYWOOD TRACKER)--Britney Spears pop diva and toxic twat of the limelight of stupidity has done it again. Where Britney walks trouble follows, but, this time it may be deliberate. Nude & topless
Read full storySteroid Use can Make You Really Ugly Warns Stallone
In a shocking statement today police have revealed that there are 42,000 steroid users in the UK, on a par with heroin abuse. Today's teenagers and sad older men, yearning for a rippling muscular body are downing the drugs like there's no tomorrow. A...
Read full storyKeira Knightley nude scene as Princess Diana in new movie.
Actress Keira Knightley is being lined up to play Diana, Princess of Wales in a movie based on the late royals life.
Read full storyAmish Women Dress Sexy
Yes, the times indeed are changing, even among such staunch defenders of tradition as the Amish.
Read full storyLindsay Lohan's Breast Falls Out of Bikini
Lindsay Lohan, tired of being out of the news and wanting to promote her new movie, Georgia Rule, has had a recent "nip slip" while vacationing in the Caribbean. The young actress, who has tried to be as big a party girl as Paris and Britney, laughe...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney naked and unashamed!
Cannes - Euro ASS Press: - Brad Pitt and George Clooney had a late night game of poker yesterday whilst having some down time from doing the rounds at the Cannes Film Festival and it all ended in jeers, from Brad that is!...
Read full storyGay World Cup Reaches Its Anti-Climax
There was excitement in Birmingham at the weekend as the Gay World Cup football tournament almost reached its limp-wristed climax. The finalists, Birmingham Babbastabbers and the Arsenal Arsebandits...
Read full storyOld, fat, ugly or pregnant strippers will need NYC licence
New York - (Ass Mess): Officials in New York City have become so fed up with the recent influx of old, fat, ugly or "even heavily pregnant" strippers that they have decided to start a new licensing system "before New York becomes a lau...
Read full storyBreast is Best and Sperm is Good for Your Skin
Following a recent report by a respected male physicist into the cancer beating properties of breast milk, men all over the world are beating a path to local hospitals in a bid to buy gallons of the white stuff.
Read full storyBollywood poised for Aishwarya pregnancy announcement
Mumbai - (Ass Mess): Bollywood is abuzz with rumors that Aishwarya Rai and husband Abhishek Bachchan are to use the awesome astrology of this Friday's full moon to announce they are expecting the birth of twin daughters in February next year.
Read full storyBritney Spears: I Was Like a Nymphomaniac With NO Rubbers
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA (HARD ON-LINE)-- Toxic shock tween twat extrordinaire, Britney Spears, came out swinging on here website, berating the tabloids & cursing out her business manager and close family for trying to keep control of B...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Admits NASA Video of Alien Spaceship on Moon is Real
WASHINGTON (AP) - President George W. Bush has admitted that NASA astronauts videotaped a large alien spaceship on the moon during an Apollo moon mission.
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Arrested Naked, DUI, Possession, Victim In Critical Condition
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA (API) -- Actress Lindsay Lohan, 20, was arrested Saturday after she lost control of her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible she was driving and struck a curb. After receiving a 911...
Read full storyNew Miss Universe: "America s-u-c-h bad loser"
Mexico City - (Ass Mess): Newly crowned Miss Universe, 20 year old Miss Japan Riyo Mori, has hit back at allegations that the Sony Corporation rigged the pageant by doshing up the Mexican government with a $250 million bung for their beauty to win th...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan pleads no contest; will accept anal bleaching, community service
Hollywood (Spoof News) Lindsay Lohan has decided to take the advice of both her publicist and her attorney, and to plead no contest to the charges of driving under the influence and leaving the scene of a crime. Lohan also spoke wi...
Read full storyDid Kellie Pickler Have Breast Augmentation Surgery?
Last month, when American Idol runner-up appeared on American television's top rated show, the changes were enormous. She sidestepped questions, however, about whether or not she had gone through breast augmentation surgery. Yesterday, she appe...
Read full storyBoy Shoots 1,151 Pound Wild Hog in Alabama Same Day Rosie O'Donnell Reported Missing in State
An eleven year old boy in Alabama killed a wild boar hog weighing 1151 pounds on a hunting trip with his father. The pig is reportedly larger than the famous Hogzilla of the state and is the largest reported boar ever.
Read full storyPirates Orlando Bloom Naked on Stage with Nurse Gladys
Pirates of the Caribbean star Orlando Bloom has revealed he is planning to get back to basics by romping naked on stage with Nurse Gladys of "Open all Hours" fame.
Read full story'Uncle Jesse' From Dukes of Hazzard On National Book Tour
Tyree, Mississippi - Jesse Duke came roaring into town today, not in a Dodge Challenger or an old beat-up red pickup, but in an unassuming Ford Taurus.
Read full storyBritney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan - Vaginas are Drying Up
Paparazzi all over the world today claimed that crotch-shots are drying up in every country. One hack photographer commented, "A couple of months ago you couldn't take a picture without snapping something inadvertently flapping in the breeze...
Read full storyBritney Spears' New Hair Extensions Are Lindsay Lohan's Pubes
Britney Spears revealed her new controversial hairstyle today as it emerged that Britney's pals have all donated their pubic hair to make enough hair extensions to cover her recently shaved bonce.
Read full storyJared Getting Fat Again
Subway ad personality Jared Fogle, is now moving up, but not exactly in the way he wanted. While he made great strides with the Subway diet and losing a great amount of weight in the process, Jared's weight is going up, presumably fueled by 11 he...
Read full storyParis Hilton and Britney Spears in Lesbian Prison Romp
Paris Hilton, starting her 45 day prison sentence for drink-driving, was today said to be delighted at just how friendly the other prisoners in her women-only detention centre in California are being towards her.
Read full storyNZ naked Britney billboard banned for misleading public
Wellington, New Zealand - (Ass Mess): A naked Britney billboard campaign promoting Sky Channel TV has been banned in New Zealand after a massive public outburst that the picture had been 'doctored' with a pair of hideous blue panties that deg...
Read full storyKylie boasts about her "black girl's ass"
Cannes Film Festival - (Ass Mess): Aussie singer Kylie Minogue has stunned the entertainment business by revealing she has had a buttock transplant after finding an attractive bottom for sale on eBay.
Read full story'Bokito' the 400-pound gorilla escapes Rotterdam Zoo; Critics say 'Knut' Controversy is to blame
Amsterdam, Netherlands - After going on a wild rampage through the Rotterdam Zoo, sending holiday seekers in a panic, injuring four people, biting one woman in the forearm, smashing the glass to gain entrance to the quickly emptied grounds restaurant...
Read full storyHe Has Risen: Pillsbury Doughboy, The New Messiah
Minneapolis (Bakers Daily News)-Spread the good news! Spread the butter! Spread the margarine! He gave his life to save the world of its breakfast sins! And today he is risen, to sit at the right hand of the eggs and morning...
Read full storyStallone Convicted in Australian Steroid Drug Smuggling Case
American actor Sylvester Stallone was formally convicted in court for his smuggling of 48 bottles of illegal steroids into Australia in February. Stallone lied to customs officials about having a prescription for the medication that is illegal in bo...
Read full storyMarijuiana Leagalized in U.S
The U.S has decided that Marijuana will in fact be legal. One of the biggest reasons is people need more jobs.
Read full storyKentucky Derby Results Announced
Results of this year's Kentucky Derby have been announced and bettors are upset with the finish. Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain, who went off at 263 to 1 odds, won the race by the length of a hatpin.
Read full storyElisabeth Hasselbeck Apologizes to Rosie O'Donnell
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The View - Elisabeth Hasselbeck apologized to Rosie O'Donnell for being such a poor friend and a self-serving jerk on The View today. She told Rosie that she was sorry she lost her job over such a silly little thing.
Read full storyJesus' Sandals Found in Iraq Desert
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Iraq - In Iraq this morning, fighting had broken out in the desert. The fighting was fierce at first, but soon died down when everyone ran out of ammo.
Read full storyLiverpool set to sign David Beckham, Ronaldo and Eto'o
According to various reports, Liverpool are set to sign David Beckham, Christiano Ronaldo, Samuel Eto'o, Daniel Alves, Carlos Tevez and a host of other players in what can only be described as bad journalism.
Read full storySheryl Crow and Russell Crowe adopt baby, limit tot to one diaper per day
Hollywood - (Ass Mes): Grammy-winning 'Run Baby Run' singer Sheryl Crow and Oscar-winning 'Gladiator' movie actor Russell Crowe have just announced they have adopted a new-hatched little baby together.
Read full storyArchaeologists Find Ancient Audio Recording
NEWARK, OH (AP Newsliar) -- Archaeologists working in south central Ohio have found what may be the earliest audio recording ever discovered. The recording is etched into the surface of a large clay ceremonial burial pot, uncovered near the Newark e...
Read full storyJudge orders Paris Hilton to wear panties for 45 days
Los Angeles, California - (Ass Mess): Lawyers acting for peroxide socialite Paris Hilton have slammed LA Judge Michael T Sauer's insistence that Paris Hilton wears panties for the 45 days' duration of her prison sentence as 'cruel and un...
Read full storyGlobal Warming Much Worse; World to End Next Year
A pessimistic report on global warming reveals that the entire planet Earth will burn to a cinder in less than 2 years, according to Ralph Stetson, Chairman of the film department at Collins College in Tempe, AZ.
Read full storyNew Scientific Studies Show That Watching Gay Porn Makes Men Infertile
Yesterday German scientist Stefan Landheimer released new proof that watching gay porn actually negatively affects a man's fertility.
Read full story"Damned Mexicans hexed me!" wails Miss USA
Mexico City - (Ass Mess): Beleagured Miss USA Rachel Smith has blamed 'Mexican voodoo' after slipping and falling on the Miss Universe catwalk last night during the evening gown parade.
Read full storyBob Barker's Dirty Little Secret
BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA (HOLLYWOOD XPOSED) - "I peeked in the window and I can see about ten or twelve of them all having sex in the room. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was scared and shocke...
Read full storyLily Allen Admits To Being Fat And Ugly
Popster Lily Allen, who is absolutely wonderful, has checked into a weight loss clinic after confessing recently to fans on her Myspace page that she was "fat, ugly, fugly and a worse crooner than Amy Winehouse".
Read full storySheep 'Flu Epidemic Is Sweeping The Welsh Valleys
A recent outbreak in Wales of, what was thought to be H5N1 Bird 'Flu, has, in fact, turned out to be rather less sinister, and has mystified Health officials in the area.
Read full storyParis Hiltons Pussy goes hungry whilst she is in custody!
LA, USA, Global ASS' Press: - Wonderful human being, celebrity role model and animal lover Paris Hilton is know for her love of small fury things but has had to put her cuddly friends behind her as she prepares t...
Read full storyRon Paul Endorsed By Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and Paris Hilton
LOS ANGELES (FMLiveWire) - Congressman Ron Paul knows he is going to be the next president of the United States, and his prospects just improved dramatically with his endorsement by a succession of Hollywood stars, including Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt...
Read full storyIs American Idol, Rigged?
A source inside American Idol has come forward to reveal winning contestants are pre determined by the American Idol staff well before America votes. It's been alleged by a news source that Jordon Sparks was picked as the winner in the first few...
Read full storyBlow Dryer Maven Monica Lewinsky
Monica Lewinsky, the infamous mistress of former president Bill Clinton, has just announced that she has signed a deal with Conair to lend her name to a new line of hair dryers.
Read full storyJohn McCain Withdraws; Endorses Ron Paul
John McCain today announced his withdrawal from the 2008 Presidential race, citing low poll numbers, lackluster fundraising and other campaign difficulties. "We just weren't able to pull it all together," McCain admitted, "and it&#...
Read full storyBMW drivers "Are wankers"
Its official! The ministry of transport have announced the findings of a year long study into the behaviour of the UK's drivers.
Read full storyNew York Times Endorses Ron Paul
In a surprise move today, the New York Times endorsed Republican candidate Ron Paul for the 2008 presidential election.
Read full storyBritney Spears, Tom Cruise, Paris Hilton Sue Website TheSpoof.com
LOS ANGELES CITY HALL, CALIFORNIA (LAWYER'S JOURNAL) -- Britney Spears & Paris Hilton taking the lead in a multi-million dollar class-action lawsuit brought against high satire website, T...
Read full storyRudy Giuliani Refuses to Read Ron Paul Books
WASHINGTON (AP) - Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul was dismayed to discover that Rudy Giuliani will maintain his foreign policy ignorance and refuses to read the books recommended by Paul.
Read full storyPrison Break's new member
Top TV show Prison Break is set to cast a new character in Season 3. TheSpoof.com can exclusively reveal that it is in fact Hollywood Super Bitch Paris Hilton. Cast member Wentworth Miller was not happy with this decision.
Read full storyBill Gates scraps his 360 for a PS3
It has been reported that Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft Corporation Worldwide has purchased a brand new Sony PlayStation 3 60GB. Despite him owning the company that fronts the PS3's main opposition, the xBox 360, He has purchased one in favour of...
Read full storyEx-BP Corrupt Bastard Browne booted off Goldman Sax
Wall Street - (Ass Mess): Ex-BP chairman and honorary Corrupt Bastards Club member Lord Browne was finally booted off the Goldmnan Sax board after New York financial regulators said he was one liability too many for the investment bank's balance...
Read full storyDanny DeVito Premium Limoncello Label Really His Piss
PASADENA, KALIFONIA--(WINO WEEKLY) Danny DeVito, Film actor, producer, director and now Liqueur Bottler Extraordinaire, embarrassed himself and a shocked ABC's "The View" television audience, estimated...
Read full storyVaginaplasty, Paris women get new Vaginas!
Paris, Root-hers: - Scores of fashionable young Parisians ladies are flocking to the plastic surgeons for a quick nip tuck of the old lady garden in a bid to regain their virginity.
Read full storyPrince William signs up to Faecesbook
Bovington Barracks Obama - (Ass Mess): The eldest son of the Pretender to the Throne has signed up for membership of the Faecesbook site which promotes networking for little shits who can't get a life without self-publicity.
Read full storyDaily Show Cancelled! Now 'The Ron Paul Show'
Due to popular demand, The Daily Show hosted by Jon Stewart has been replaced by the 24/7 "All Ron Paul Show".
Read full story10 Reasons why Willow was better than Lord of the Rings
Ever notice how similar films are becoming these days? Is this a recent thing, or are we to continue suffering through the same plots over and over again simply because producers are unwilling to toss the dice at risqué new films?...
Read full storyFox Ousts Ron Paul for Being a Real Republican
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - New York City - FOX News is trying to deny Republican Ron Paul of Texas the chance to appear in its televised debates, siting, "He looks too old to be on TV, and besides, he's a REAL Republican. The Bush Administratio...
Read full storyJ.K. Rowling Has Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Classified Top Secret
(Crappers USA) J.K. Rowling is taking no chances to keep her book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows completely classified as top secret. The American book publisher has bought large acres of land and places it into high security like Area 51, the...
Read full storyRosie O'Donnell Split The View Over Split-Screen? Reason why her aide drew mustache on Elisabeth's photo?
Hollywood, California - According to TheSpoof.com's reliable sources, Rosie left the View not so much over the spat she had with Elisabeth (allegedly Rosie is quite found of her), but over a producer's decision to maximize the show's rati...
Read full storyRon Paul recalled to active duty
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With the surge of support for Congressman Ron Paul's Presidential campaign, Karl Rove has once again engineered a victory for the Republican Party establishment. In a bold move that has surprised many political analysts and p...
Read full storyLesbian Jail Inmates Prepare for Arrival of Paris Hilton
Los Angeles, CA - Paris Hilton better like girls. The hotel heiress was sentenced Friday to 45 days at the Century Regional Detention Center, Los Angeles County's jailhouse for women just south of downtown in Lynwood and will be sharing a cell w...
Read full storyBill Gates Sues Plastic Surgeon
Microsoft Corporation founder and richest person in the world Bill Gates has filed a lawsuit against Seattle, Washington plastic surgeon Doctor Gordon P. Mengele, alleging gross negligence and malicious malpractice.
Read full storyIndian Prime Minister: Doctorate but Illiterate
Mahatma Gandhi, to show his compassion to the millions of the poor Indians, lived a simple life. His simplicity was interpreted by many to be akin to living in poverty. Any Indian political leader, by default, becomes a follower of The Great Mahat...
Read full storyBlair: I hate Gordon Brown
Tony Blair threw the Labour Party into further turmoil today by announcing that he 'hates' his probable successor and long-term political ally Gordon Brown.
Read full storyShrek Comes Out But Insists That He Is Bi, Not Just Gay
Shrek, the animated film star voiced by Michael Myers, admitted that he is gay in an interview with People Magazine on this week's newstands.
Read full storyManchester United's Alex Ferguson To Retire Early After FA Cup Final
Sir Alice Ferguson, the Manchester United manager, has dropped an untimely Old Trafford bombshell only days before the FA Cup Final with Chelsea, by announcing that he will retire early
Read full storyJ.K. Rowling says she may do an Eighth Harry Potter
London, England - In an apparent response to the news announced just days ago in a story in TheSpoof.com that Christopher Tolkien and Paul Jackson are teaming up, J.K. Rowling's announced today she too would be doing yet another Harry Potter book...
Read full storyParis Hilton confesses to rigging polls for Congressman Ron Paul
Los Angeles -- Stunning observers in the court room, Paris Hilton said that she is the one responsible for rigging several online polls in favor of Presidential candidate, Congressman Ron Paul.
Read full storyMother's Day publication date for Kate Middleton's royal sex secrets
London - (Ass Mess): This year's Mother's Day will see the publication of the long awaited first official interview with royal ex-girlfriend Kate Middleton in Ok, Ok, Ok! magazine's US edition where the spurned brunette talks frankly at l...
Read full storyEuro-disaster as Scootch make an arse of it
Scooch, the British entry into this-years Eurovision Song Contest flew back into Heathrow yesterday evening to scenes of hysteria. People cheered "You're crap!" and "Tossers!"...
Read full storyParis Hilton Satisfies Lusty, Sweaty, Prison Women
Although Paris Hilton seduced a healthy number of people, estimated to be 30,000 signatures, to appeal to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger for a pardon, it seemed to be a case of, too little too late. When questioned about the Hilton plea for leniency Schw...
Read full storyRon Paul Excluded from Future Debates
Washington - Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX) has been officially excluded from all future Republican Presidential Debates. Paul, who officially entered the race in February of this year, has participated in the first two debates, and was ranked in the to...
Read full storyNude Twister, health and safety alert!
OSLO, Roothers, statistics just released show a worrying increase in the number of Twister related fatalities and injuries, as much as one third of which seem to occur whilst playing the popular party game in the nude.
Read full storyOprah Endorses Barack Obama on Larry King
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Larry King - On May 2, 2007, Oprah endorsed Barack Obama for president. "I know him personally," said Oprah, "and quite often. "That man turns me OOOOnnnn! With my billions, he's sure to make it to p...
Read full storyParis Hilton to be laminated nude prior to prison.
Pseudo celebrity stick insect, money shot purveyor and role model, Paris Hilton has been jailed for 45 days after being found guilty of violating her probation for a drink-driving conviction.
Read full storyBreast Size, Literacy Link Identified
Researchers in France have identified what they believe is a link between the amount of time women spend reading and breast size. Dr. Emile Goudeau, of the University of Paris headed the study, which stretched over the course of nine years and invol...
Read full storyMichael Moore "Sicko" Movie Frightens UK Doctors
Michael Moore's controversial new movie "Sicko" which highlights flaws in the US Health Care system has struck fear into the hearts of UK doctors, who are already aware that everything that happens in the US comes to the UK exactly four...
Read full storyNew Celebrity Impersonator Reality Series Has Strange Beginning
The newest ABC Reality Show is off to a strange start in the premiere episode. "The Next Best Thing: Who Is The Greatest Celebrity Impersonator" made its debut Wednesday evening.
Read full storyLarry's baby Dannielynn to meet Queen Elizabeth in Kentucky
Nassau, Bahama - (Ass Mess): Californian photographer Larry Birkhead is all set to take his baby daughter Dannielynn home to Kentucky to meet the family and to be presented to Queen Elizabeth who is due to visit the Blue Grass State later in the week...
Read full storyHarry Potter In Surprise 8th Book Sensation
Reports on the wires this evening are talking of a sensational new book that's set to take the libraries and bookshops of the world by storm.
Read full storyRon Paul Surges in Polls
Ron Paul is gaining in opinion polls in key states in the presidential GOP nomination race for 2008.
Read full storyGeorge Bush Claims he is Adolf Hitler
WASHINGTON (AP) - George Bush now claims he is the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler, and has realized this boyhood dream of becoming dictator with his new Presidential Directives which he released on May 9.
Read full storyHuffing Gasoline - New Drug of Choice for the Wealthy
Inhalant abuse among the affluent in America is reportedly soaring as the price of gasoline continues to rise to new levels. Cocaine had long been the drug of choice among those with more money than brains. That, however, is changing, as drug users...
Read full storyLeft-handed women like Angelina Jolie may have shorter attention span
London - (Ass Mess): A new scientific study suggests that left-handed women like Angelina Jolie have a huge attention need, tiny attention span and a morbid fear of dying from fatness.
Read full storyLindsay Lohan's Girl Gone Wild Video released to media just days after Paris invited Lohan to share accommodations at Gray Bars Hotel
Los Angeles, California - A videotape of Lindsay Lohan snorting 20 lines of cocaine with friends off a toilet seat in a bathroom stall of a nightclub surfaced this week in what some are saying is under usual circumstances.
Read full storyParis Hilton New Jail house Address :) Write Me!
LYNWOOD, CALIFORNIA (PENAL DIGEST) --Paris Hilton will be trading Prava for a Los Angeles County Jail orange jumpsuit and mug shot. Hilton found guilty on misdemeanor charges of driving without a California Drivers License, will be incarcerated for the next three weeks (Her time behind bars has been shortened). Now that she is doing her time there is no reason you can't write her or send her f...
Read full storyBritney Spears Stops Traffic In West Hollywood Media Frenzy
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA (HOLLYWOOD SPY) - Britney Spears started a media frenzy at tinseltown's famous Equinox Gym on the Sunset Strip, she was accompanied by her vagina, for a quick workout a...
Read full storySperm Modified to Include Calorie Counter
Scientists have today announced that human sperm can be genetically modified to include nutritional information and a calorie counter. The breakthrough follows years of abstinence by women who claim that sperm is fattening.
Read full storyChelsea Fans Revive Old Song To Honour Mourinho
Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho is to be honoured by Blues' fans at tomorrow's FA Cup final against Manchester United at the New Wembley stadium, with a revival of the old Stamford Bridge favourite 'One Man Went To Mow'. Mourinho, the chosen one, ha...
Read full storyScooch Thrown Out Of Eurovision Song Contest
That celebrated international festival of anti-talent, the Eurovision Song Contest gets under way in Helsinki this Saturday amid the usual controversies and scandal that make it one of the most shambolic, manufactured and tedious eve...
Read full storyAntiwar.com Claims Bush Studied Blueprints for Dictatorship
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - "The Internets," April 30 - Yesterday, Antiwar.com claimed in an article that the Bush Administration has studied blueprints for a dictatorship...
Read full storySweden pulls out of Ms Universe contest after topless decision
Mexico City - (Ass Mess): Sweden has pulled out of Monday's Miss Universe competition after strict new guidelines in the pageant's topless category banned surgiaclly-enhanced contestants.
Read full storyTom Cruise 'apoplectic' at rent boy porno stunt
California - (Ass Mess): Actor Tom Cruise is said to be hopping mad today after an eighteen year old male hooker and fledeling porno star changed his name to Torn Cruise and pledged to lose his virginity in a live internet webcast.
Read full storyMcDonalds serves up a Happy Bag pot burger to 8 year old
Ottawa, Illinois - (Ass Mess): McDonalds has market tested its wholesome organically-grown new pot bruger Happy Meals on an eight year old who received a lighter, a pipe, and bag of weed in her lunch bag according to Ottawa Police Chief Brian Zeilman...
Read full storyDead Suicide Bomber Angry Over Lack of Virgins in Heaven
Muhammed Yabba Dabbadu speaking from heaven through an unidentified Muslim Cleric complained bitterly about the lack of virgins he found in heaven after blowing himself up.
Read full storyLindsay Lohan's DUI / Cocaine charges Confirm Disturbing Trend
Lindsay Lohan was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence and cocaine possession at a Los Angeles hospital early yesterday morning. Lohan was driving with two companions through Beverly Hills when she lost control of her Mercedes, striki...
Read full storyCharles Nelson Reilly Found Dead; Severe Eye Infection Suspected Cause
Hollywood, California - Best known for his black oversized eyeglasses, making regular appearances on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and various late night TV games shows like Hollywood Squares, Charles Nelson Reilly, 76, was found dead in his ho...
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