Prince William signs up to Faecesbook

Written by queen mudder

Monday, 14 May 2007

image for Prince William signs up to Faecesbook
Charles has said he'd better not use it for scoring or shagging

Bovington Barracks Obama - (Ass Mess): The eldest son of the Pretender to the Throne has signed up for membership of the Faecesbook site which promotes networking for little shits who can't get a life without self-publicity.

William registered as William Wales and posted a photo of himself wearing the Bonnie Prince Charlie ceremonial coronet and a minature sporran over the family jewels.

The website has been described as "increasingly addictive" and is rumored to best way of finding a new coke dealer without the bother of actually trawling Soho at one am on a Friday night.

This means local dealers can check out the Prince's profile, send him a message and before you know it a motorbike courier is on its way to Bovington Barracks with enough charlie to blow up a tank.

So far 843 new contacts have have registered, some saying cash only and some taking PayPal.

The growing popularity of Faecesbook is based on the simple code language which means scoring narcotics in Central London has never been easier or hassle free.

A members photo in a skiing or snow-scene setting is a coded request for cocaine, from the old cliche nickname for the toxic white powder.

A picture of lush background greenery such as a garden or field means the member wants to score some 'weed' or cannabis.

And a smiling face with lips glossy and parted usually means 'rent boy wanted, fifty quid an hour'.

Faecesbook is said to have over 50,000 members and an encrypted email service for members of the armed forces.

Membership requires sponsorship and a recomendation of at least two good shags denoted by the site's star-rating system similar to that used by satirical sites.

But that is where the similarity begins and ends.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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