Abbey Road Hit by Earthquake

Funny story: Abbey Road Hit by Earthquake

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - London - Today, Abbey Road was hit by a major earthquake, ripping up the famous site where Sir Paul McCartney crossed in his bare feet with his eyes closed. It was a major upset for the world of music having the "most tec...

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Shrink Says Paris Hilton too Traumatized to Go to Jail

Funny story: Shrink Says Paris Hilton too Traumatized to Go to Jail

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Los Angeles - San Jose Mercury News reported that "Paris Hilton is "emotionally distraught and traumatized" over her 45-day jail sentence and is not capable of testifying in a civil suit against her."

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Jerry Falwell Passes Away - Bush Will Miss Him

Funny story: Jerry Falwell Passes Away - Bush Will Miss Him

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Heaven - Jerry Falwell passed away today after having a heart attack. Falwell, the small town son of an alcoholic father who sold bootleg liquor during Prohibition, registered millions of conservative voters to the Republican...

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Majestic America woos cruise passengers with 75% discounts

Funny story: Majestic America woos cruise passengers with 75% discounts

Juneau - (Ass Mess): Unpeturbed that its flagship paddlesteamer Empress of the North has now notched up four consecutive hits on sandbanks, rocks and other maritime obstacles, Majestic America continues to entice prospective passengers with the idyll...

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Portugese Police Eliminate Suspects One by One in McCann Case

Funny story: Portugese Police Eliminate Suspects One by One in McCann Case

The Portuguese police in the case of missing Madeleine McCann are leaving no stone unturned in the hunt for her alleged abductor. They are arresting "suspicious looking British men" one by one in an attempt to actually get the right man, as...

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Miss Marple to Head Diana Inquest

Funny story: Miss Marple to Head Diana Inquest

Michael Mansfield QC has today announced that he has appointed renowned sleuth Miss Marple to head the inquest into the deaths of Diana Spencer and Dodi Al Fayed.

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Leading TheoCon nutter Jerry Falwell is dead

Funny story: Leading TheoCon nutter Jerry Falwell is dead

Virginia - (Ass Mess): Leading TheoCon nutter Reverend Jerry Falwell died today aged 73 amid repeated warnings that the Lord would smite him down for his lifetime's dedication to reviling feminists, gays and lesbians, pagans, libertarians and any...

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Prince Charles: My Farts Smell Royal

Funny story: Prince Charles: My Farts Smell Royal

LONDON (AP Newsliar) -- Prince Charles says his farts smell royal.

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Doctors take breast exams into their hands

BETHESDA, Md. - Recent research shows American women are revolting against having mammograms, opting instead to have a more "hands on" breast exam, which may partly explain why rates of cancer have decreased significantly in the last fe...

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Moon Stolen by Evil Space Giant

Funny story: Moon Stolen by Evil Space Giant

FLAGSTAFF (AP Newsliar) -- The Moon was stolen last night by an evil space giant, officials at the Lowell Observatory confirmed today.

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Government to ban smoking during sex

Funny story: Government to ban smoking during sex

The latest politically correct act of the custodians of our nanny state is going to be to introduce legislation banning smoking during sexual intercourse.

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Nazi Party in takeover deal with History Channel

Funny story: Nazi Party in takeover deal with History Channel

The Estate of the Third Reich are in formal talks this week with popular documentary cable network the 'History Channel.' The talks may be the final process of a long speculated take-over of the documentary channel by the Nazi Party of German...

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Mars Bars Contain Beef!

Funny story: Mars Bars Contain Beef!

Masterfoods, the producers of household names such as Mars, Snickers and Malteasers, have announced that genetically modified animal ingredients are used in its chocolate snacks.

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Confirmed: George Bush IS on crack

Funny story: Confirmed: George Bush IS on crack

Washington D.C. - After years of speculation by the media, the White House finally acknowledged today that George Bush is indeed high on crack cocaine. Until today, the oft asked question, "Is Bush on crack?" was met with scoffing denials o...

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Fidel Castro Offers Health Insurance to US Citizens

Funny story: Fidel Castro Offers Health Insurance to US Citizens

Matanzas Province Cuba - Cuba's Minister of Health, Hyman Roth, in a press conference in Matanzas province said that the Government of Cuba will offer five different kinds of health insurance to US citizens. In addition, Cuba will write policies...

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Mark Viduka 'Puts on 3 stone in 3 days' shock

Mark Viduka's agent today described his 'despair' as 'Boro ace Viduka piled on the pounds. Since the end of the 2006/2007 season, Viduka has put on 1 stone a day, and shows no sign of stopping.

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Never Say Die jockey Piggot in intensive care

Funny story: Never Say Die jockey Piggot in intensive care

Geneva, Switzerland - (Ass Mess): Fabled veteran horseracing jockey Lester Piggot is said to be ailing in a Swiss cardiac clinic amid reports that his pacemaker has given out in the final furlong of a 71 year life.

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World Bank Finds Wolfowitz Repeatedly Violated It

Funny story: World Bank Finds Wolfowitz Repeatedly Violated It

WASHINGTON (AP) -- A World Bank committee has found that its President Paul Wolfowitz repeatedly violated the men and women of the World Bank, thereby breaking its rules and ethics. Although it was Wolfowitz's blatant promotion of his mistress and...

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US, Russia 'to moderate rhetoric' or not slag each other off, much.

Funny story: US, Russia 'to moderate rhetoric' or not slag each other off, much.

Hatchet faced Russian Premier Voldermort Putitin and visiting US Secretary of State Cumulonimbus Rice have agreed to tone down the rhetoric in public exchanges due to everyone on the planet wondering if we are soon to be eviscerated...

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Tarrant's Tiswas Tussle

Funny story: Tarrant's Tiswas Tussle

Chris Tarrant, recently arrested in a Nottingham curry house over charges of alleged assault, has vehemently denied any wrongdoing.

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Jewell Thief Was Sacked - Claim

Funny story: Jewell Thief Was Sacked - Claim

More details are emerging about the 'resignation' on Monday of former Wigan Athletic manager Paul Jewell. Sources at the club have said that, rather than having resigned, Jewell was sacked for thievin...

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Anna Nicole Smith's will 'leaves her $$$s to Scientology'

Funny story: Anna Nicole Smith's will 'leaves her $$$s to Scientology'

Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): An alternative will apparently drawn up on Anna Nicole Smith's instructions just days before her sudden demise leaves her entire estate 'real and contested' to the Church of Scientology according to documents fil...

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George Michael Bummed My Rabbit

Funny story: George Michael Bummed My Rabbit

LONDON (Defecated News) - Pop megastar George Michael was arrested by Metropolitan Police this morning following complaints from neighbours. They alleged that Mr. Michael, real name Fellatio Streptococcus had been caught 'having sexual relations&...

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Wolfowitz out as Blair flies in

Funny story: Wolfowitz out as Blair flies in

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): UK Prime Monster Tony Blair is flying to see George Bush tonight ahead of reports confirming he is all set to pack his bags and move to the US as GOP paymasters urge the President to dump ratings-disaster Paul Wolfowitz fr...

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Voodoo Hillary doll not scary enough

Funny story: Voodoo Hillary doll not scary enough

Washington - (Ass Mess): A voodoo doll of Hillary Clinton has been rejected by US shoppers as 'not nearly scary enough' after being launched last week complete with a book of incantations and a packet of pins.

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Bristol Myers Develops Instant Laxative

Funny story: Bristol Myers Develops Instant Laxative

San Francisco California - Bristol Myers Spokesman Julian Mazoola announced that The Bristol Myers Corporation has developed a laxative that works instantaneously.

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History Channel to Launch Latest Documentary Series About Hitler And the Nazis

Funny story: History Channel to Launch Latest Documentary Series About Hitler And the Nazis

Hollywood, FL - The History Channel announced today it will air it's newest docudrama series centered around Hitler, the Nazi regime, and World War II. The new show is entitled "The Hidden Great War in Germany" and examines specific aspects of the w...

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End of the road for God

Funny story: End of the road for God

Following the recent abduction of Madeleine McCann in Portugal, and the ensuing fruitless prayer services, church leaders have finally admitted that God just isn't up to the job any more.

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Blair Not Bush Poodle

Funny story: Blair Not Bush Poodle

On his way out of office, Prime Minister Tony Blair could not resist the opportunity to take some parting shots at his political opponents.

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DC to Construct New Kennedy Memorial on National Mall

Funny story: DC to Construct New Kennedy Memorial on National Mall

Washington, DC - Members of the Board of Trustees for the National Park Services and officials at the U.S Department of the Interior today unveiled plans for a new Kennedy Memorial, to honor all of the dynastic family's many contributions to Amer...

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Boy George to Release New Album

Funny story: Boy George to Release New Album

Los Angeles, CA - Musical Icon and paint palette Boy George, of Culture Club and solo artist fame, is set to release his first new album in eleven years.

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New Study Proves Global Warming Causes Vaginal Dryness

Ponds Laboratory Pine Island Florida - A Study conducted by the Womans Crevice Research Institute has concluded that Global Warming is the cause of the high rate of Vaginal Dryness suffered by the woman of the world.

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Shambo Sold to Masterfoods to Make Sacred Mars Bars

Funny story: Shambo Sold to Masterfoods to Make Sacred Mars Bars

In a cruel twist of fate sacred bull Shambo who is suffering from bovine TB will be sacrificed and sold on to the Masterfoods group, who have recently announced that they are adding mashed up dead baby calf to their previously popular chocolate bars.

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Richard Gere kiss more harmful to India than AIDS!

Mumbai, India, despite several weeks having passed since the Shilpa Shetty thing in India, blah blah blah, yawn….ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ..er wassat?!!...

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Five Hours Left To Save The Planet!

Funny story: Five Hours Left To Save The Planet!

Our planet is just five hours away from climate change catastrophe - but can still be saved, according to a new report.

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Gasps of shock as Gordon Brown announces leadership bid

Funny story: Gasps of shock as Gordon Brown announces leadership bid

There were gasps of shock all round as Gordon Brown announced he would be standing for the Labour leadership contest...

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Condoleeza Rice Victim of Identity Theft!

Funny story: Condoleeza Rice Victim of Identity Theft!

Washington DC - Condoleeza Rice Secretary Of State of The United States Of America lost her wallet at a Starbucks In Washington DC.

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New World Food Order Is Burger, Fries and a Diet Coke.

Funny story: New World Food Order Is Burger, Fries and a Diet Coke.

Camamile Tea Arkansas - The Most common of all food orders in the western world is burger, fries and a diet coke. In a survey conducted by the food channel and 300,000 fast food restaurants, there seems to be no contest.

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Australian Cricket Tour Called Off Due To "Lack Of Good Beer"

Funny story: Australian Cricket Tour Called Off Due To "Lack Of Good Beer"

The Australian cricket team's tour of Zimbabwe has been cancelled on the orders of Prime Minister John Howard. The despotic regime of President Robert Mugabe has been given as the official reason...

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Dead Suicide Bomber Angry Over Lack of Virgins in Heaven

Funny story: Dead Suicide Bomber Angry Over Lack of Virgins in Heaven

Muhammed Yabba Dabbadu speaking from heaven through an unidentified Muslim Cleric complained bitterly about the lack of virgins he found in heaven after blowing himself up.

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Global Warming in Hell

Funny story: Global Warming in Hell

Well, it seems as though some people just can't get any breaks. Of all the places which least need to feel the effects of global warming, Hell undoubtedly tops the list.

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Brain Usage down to 5%

Funny story: Brain Usage down to 5%

Researchers at Cerebra University in Enid, Oklahoma have discovered that the average person now uses a mere 5% of his or her brain. This is down from the standard 10%, which was the average as recently as 4 years ago.

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Hitler Angry with Comparisons to Bush

Funny story: Hitler Angry with Comparisons to Bush

Caretakers at Sunny Acres Nursing Home in Goering, Michigan were surprised to learn that one of their residents, a frail, kindly old man they knew as "Papa Joe" is actually the architect of World War II in Europe and the evil mastermind of...

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Wigan in Shock Split from Premier League

Funny story: Wigan in Shock Split from Premier League

In a shock announcement, Wigan revealed they will be leaving the FA Premier League and forming their own division, called The Dave Whelanship.

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Bush Speaks At Cheney Testimonial

Funny story: Bush Speaks At Cheney Testimonial

President George W. Bush spoke today at a White House Press Conference tribute to Vice President Richard "Dick" Cheney. It was a black tie affair in Washington D.C. Ann Carter of The Washington Times said that "The President offered...

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Death by teabagging

Since 2003 there have been so few public demonstrations that, given the widespread discontent with the government, it would not be difficult to believe that quietly in 2004 the right to free speech and protest were criminalised with a mandatory sentence of death by teabagging. Yet like illegal music, pornography and paedophilia the internet is set to breath new life into a nearly forgotten pursuit...

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'Forgotten Bush' Ponders Political Future

Funny story: 'Forgotten Bush' Ponders Political Future

Bent Ring, AL - Jed, George Herbert, and of course, "Dubya". We all know the names of this modern day "Scam-a-lot" political dynasty. But what about Elmer Bush? The quiet, slow, middle son of the Bush family, a local government representative in hi...

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Good Humor Truck Overturned in Riots

Funny story: Good Humor Truck Overturned in Riots

Parrish, WI - A teeming horde of upper elementary students at Wokum Elementary today rocked and tipped a Good Humor Ice Cream truck, its smoldering hull still visible by the curbside. During 2nd recess break from classes, an unsuspecting and hapless...

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