Nursing Home for Aging Muslims Takes on New Meaning

Funny story: Nursing Home for Aging Muslims Takes on New Meaning

The Al Sukh en'Ip Home for the Aged has taken a recent fatwa, or religious edict, by Al-Azhar University cleric Ezzat Attiya and extended it to the care of its residents.

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Borat hires Larry Birkhead's lawyer as Mary Cheney gives mirth to son

Funny story: Borat hires Larry Birkhead's lawyer as Mary Cheney gives mirth to son

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Kazakhstani actor Mr Borat has hired paternity lawyers who represented Californian photographer Larry Birkhead in his custody suit for Anna Nicole Smith's baby Dannielynn following today's news that Dick Cheney'...

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Princess Di concert cancelled after massive black hole appears

Funny story: Princess Di concert cancelled after massive black hole appears

Hyde Park - (Ass Mess): The July 1st Hyde Park rock concert that was due to cash in on Princess Diana has been cancelled.

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Gas Prices

Can you believe these gas price's for crying out loud i need a second job just to afford the gas to get to the first one!...

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Rudy Giuliani Refuses to Read Ron Paul Books

Funny story: Rudy Giuliani Refuses to Read Ron Paul Books

WASHINGTON (AP) - Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul was dismayed to discover that Rudy Giuliani will maintain his foreign policy ignorance and refuses to read the books recommended by Paul.

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Amerikan Standard Set To Release New "Frontal Buttock Friendly" Urinals

Funny story: Amerikan Standard Set To Release New "Frontal Buttock Friendly" Urinals

Piscataway, NJ, (FP) - Amerikan Standard, owned by the Amerikas Bath and Kitchen Group, which encompasses the United States, Canada and Mexico, is set to release new "Frontal Buttock Friendly" Urinals in late 2008.

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Manchester United players urged not to appeal

Social scientists have warned Manchester United stars past and present to stop making appeals for missing children, as they have been found to have negative consequences.

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The late Cole Porter finally gets a star on Hollywood Walk of Fame

Funny story: The late Cole Porter finally gets a star on Hollywood Walk of Fame

Hollywood, California - Forty-three years after his death, Cole Porter, who wrote over 1,500 songs for the movie and television industry in his lifetime, just got his Star on the on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this week.

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Jews Sell Out to Soros

Funny story: Jews Sell Out to Soros

In a surprise move, the Jews sold their controlling interest in the International Financial Conspiracy to George Soros.

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Ron Paul Joins Hillary in Call for Withdrawal from Iowa

Funny story: Ron Paul Joins Hillary in Call for Withdrawal from Iowa

Ron Paul, the most prominent anti-war candidate among the Republicans running for 2008, today joined Hillary Clinton in her call for a complete withdrawal of presidential campaigns from Iowa.

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Mary Cheney Gives Birth to Hal Burton

Funny story: Mary Cheney Gives Birth to Hal Burton

Dick Cheney's daughter, Mary, has given birth to a baby boy whom she is planning to bring up with her long-time lesbian partner, Heather Poe.

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Disturbance In The Force Turns Out To Be Gas

Funny story: Disturbance In The Force Turns Out To Be Gas

DEATH STAR (Galactic Press) -- What he first identified as a "disturbance in the Force" turned out to be nothing but gas, a sheepish Darth Vader admitted yesterday afternoon.

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NSPD52, Bush To Answer All Questions, Inquiries With Retail Store's "Easy" Button

Funny story: NSPD52, Bush To Answer All Questions, Inquiries With Retail Store's "Easy" Button

Washington DC, (FP) - President Bush, on the heels of National Security Presidential Directives (NSPD) 51, which gives the president sole power of the universe in the event of an undefined catastrophe, signed a new directive into power today, without...

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Monica Goodling to pose nude in Playboy special section: Beltway Babes

Funny story: Monica Goodling to pose nude in Playboy special section: Beltway Babes

Inspired by her testimony before Congress, Playboy editors have reached an agreement with former Justice Department attorney Monica Goodling to feature her in a section highlighting women of Washington D.C. sans clothes.

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Clinton Wants New Cabinet to Combat Government Waste

Funny story: Clinton Wants New Cabinet to Combat Government Waste

Des Moines, Iowa - Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY), Candidate for the Democratic Party Presidential nomination, told an audience of war veterans in this mostly conservative city in the heartlands, that if she were elected President she would cr...

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Howard and Mugabe, Sitting in a Tree, Both Condemned by Am-nes-ty

Funny story: Howard and Mugabe, Sitting in a Tree, Both Condemned by Am-nes-ty

Australian Prime Minister John Howard has very publicly condemned the rule of Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe labeling him a "grubby dictator". Howard has even gone so far as to prevent his beloved Australian cricket team from playing a...

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Cutty Sark arson sparks Royal Yacht Britannia 'Pirates' fears

Funny story: Cutty Sark arson sparks Royal Yacht Britannia 'Pirates' fears

Edinburgh - (Ass Mess): This week's torching of the iconic 19th century clipper the Cutty Sark has led to fears that disgruntled movie watchers sickened by the pitiful 'Pirates of the Caribbean: The World's End' rehash may try to tras...

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Iran not interested in nuclear weapons

Funny story: Iran not interested in nuclear weapons

TEHRAN - Iran is no longer interested in developing nuclear weapons, according to sources at the the International Atomic Energy Agency. Farouht Keck, a spokesman for the UN's nuclear watchdog, stated that, "based on our analysis, Iran coul...

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Iraq Insurgents Dispute Osama Timetable, Funding

Funny story: Iraq Insurgents Dispute Osama Timetable, Funding

The Iraq War showed another twist today when Al Jazeera reported an internal dispute within the insurgents.

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Westerner In Gun Battle At Thai Market

Funny story: Westerner In Gun Battle At Thai Market

Police in Thailand have exchanged shots with a man during a gun battle that "got out of hand" at a market in Bangkok. The market, selling mainly fruit, dried cuttlefish and other junk, was left in tatters,...

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Cutty Sark arson cops probe 'Pirates' link

Funny story: Cutty Sark arson cops probe 'Pirates' link

Greenwich - (Ass Mess): Police officers investigating the torching of the Cutty Sark are following up new leads that a renegade gang of disgruntled 'Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End' movie watchers set fire to the 19th century cli...

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Vaughan still fit despite loss of movement

Funny story: Vaughan still fit despite loss of movement

ENGLAND will take to the field against West Indies on Friday with Michael Vaughan at the helm - in full body scaffold and iron lung.

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Lampard fights with self - transfer auction sparked by split soccer ace

Funny story: Lampard fights with self - transfer auction sparked by split soccer ace

MENTALLY troubled Premiership ace Frank 'Lamps' Lampard has quit Barcelona just days after revealing he couldn't play alongside himself at Chelsea any more. Lampard set off for the Camp Nou hoping that the absence of himself from the line-up at th...

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Tom Cruise 'apoplectic' at rent boy porno stunt

Funny story: Tom Cruise 'apoplectic' at rent boy porno stunt

California - (Ass Mess): Actor Tom Cruise is said to be hopping mad today after an eighteen year old male hooker and fledeling porno star changed his name to Torn Cruise and pledged to lose his virginity in a live internet webcast.

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Dogs charged with perverting course of justice

Funny story: Dogs charged with perverting course of justice

HELENSBURGH (Cheuchters) - Strathclyde Police have charged two dogs with perverting the course of justice. DCI Helen Back stated the charge related to the devouring of a crime scene.

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John Howard Hits Woman With Car, Won't Say Sorry

Funny story: John Howard Hits Woman With Car, Won't Say Sorry

Australian Prime Minister John Howard has today hit a young aboriginal woman with his car. However, he has adamantly refused to apologize to the young woman who remains in intensive care.

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Sinister Wheelie Bins to Spy on General Public

Funny story: Sinister Wheelie Bins to Spy on General Public

New sinister black wheelie bins will be given new powers to spy on members of the public.

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Save farts or face a fine and "pay as you throw up" tax!

Funny story: Save farts or face a fine and "pay as you throw up" tax!

Families face a new "pay as you throw" tax on rubbish under proposals to be unveiled by the Government.

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Big, Fat, Lesbian, Rosie, Attacks Poor, Christian, Elizabeth

Funny story: Big, Fat, Lesbian, Rosie, Attacks Poor, Christian, Elizabeth

The fur and claws were flying Wednesday on the daytime talk show, The View, Joy Behar came up with a list of all the stupid things the Bush administration has done to date, stating, "former President Jimmy Carter and former Vice President Al Gor...

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Liverpool Fan Now Needs Corrective Sugery

Funny story: Liverpool Fan Now Needs Corrective Sugery

A crackpot joker Liverpool FC fanatic who paid £40,000 to have a sixth finger added to his hand now wants the NHS to pay for the corrective surgery to have it removed.

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Control Orders not working, spanking to follow!

Funny story: Control Orders not working, spanking to follow!

Home Secretary John Reid has been accused of endangering the public as police continue to hunt three terror suspects on control orders who have absconded.

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Blair Meets Pope to Beg Forgiveness

Funny story: Blair Meets Pope to Beg Forgiveness

Downing Street announced today that Tony Blair will be travelling to the Vatican to meet the Pope before standing down as Prime Minister next month.

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Bush says Iraqi Oil is at the Center of Terror Fight

Funny story: Bush says Iraqi Oil is at the Center of Terror Fight

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- President George Bush portrayed the "War on Terror" as a fight to grab Iraqi oil on Wednesday, and added that Osama bin Laden was just a bogeyman.

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McDonalds Miss The Point of Oxford English Dictionary

Funny story: McDonalds Miss The Point of Oxford English Dictionary

Food chain MacDonalds have today completely missed the point of the Oxford English Dictionary. A dictionary defines the use of words in English, a point which senior executives have simply failed to grasp.

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George Bush Claims he is Adolf Hitler

Funny story: George Bush Claims he is Adolf Hitler

WASHINGTON (AP) - George Bush now claims he is the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler, and has realized this boyhood dream of becoming dictator with his new Presidential Directives which he released on May 9.

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Liverpool Fans Stranded On Merseyside By "Plane Problems"

Funny story: Liverpool Fans Stranded On Merseyside By "Plane Problems"

There was disappointment yesterday for 148 Liverpool football fans hoping to fly to the Champions League final in Athens, when the plane they were due to fly out to Greece on was stolen from John Lennon airport.

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New York Taxis To "Go Green"

Funny story: New York Taxis To "Go Green"

In an effort to cut air pollution and tackle climate change, plans have been announced for New York's famous yellow taxis to "go green". The carbon footprint of Native New Yorke...

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Ron Paul Allowed To Continue With Exception

Funny story: Ron Paul Allowed To Continue With Exception

Washington, DC (FP) - Ron Paul allowed to continue in the GOP debates "so long as he permanently wears a bull's-eye on his back" reported the GOP Tuesday.

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Lesbian scare tempts wrath of Allah

Funny story: Lesbian scare tempts wrath of Allah

LONDON-- The Guardian online news source is apologizing today after a typo in a recent headline set off a flurry of anger and confusion during a tense time in Northern Lebanon yesterday. Muslim clerics and Palestinian leaders were in an uproar ove...

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Why MUST I put the toilet seat down?

She won't put it back up for me! It seems every woman I have ever dated, lived with, or even met have this "thing" about putting the toilet seat down. It transcends races, religions, National Origins and cultures. It is one peeve that holds all women of the world together.

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Faux News Anchor Airlifted From Station

Funny story: Faux News Anchor Airlifted From Station

GREENVILLE, GA. (FP)- A local Faux news anchor, Maya Butreek, was airlifted to a local hospital after dislocating her neck while delivering a story about new red light cameras installed near the local station.

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Mary Cheney became pregnant by parthenogenesis; global warming to blame?

Funny story: Mary Cheney became pregnant by parthenogenesis; global warming to blame?

Frostbite Falls (Spoof News) Mary Cheney, daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney, gave birth today to an 8 and a half pound baby boy.

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J.K. Rowling Has Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Classified Top Secret

Funny story: J.K. Rowling Has Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Classified Top Secret

(Crappers USA) J.K. Rowling is taking no chances to keep her book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows completely classified as top secret. The American book publisher has bought large acres of land and places it into high security like Area 51, the...

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Juneau residents fear global warming could result in Baked Alaska

Funny story: Juneau residents fear global warming could result in Baked Alaska

Juneau, Alaska - (Ass Mess): Global warming fears are preying on the minds of Juneau residents after four torrid weeks of big oil graft-peddlers Corrupt Bastards Club headlines which exposed the bribing force behind state legislators preaching climat...

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