Jared Getting Fat Again

Funny story written by Javi Ending

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

image for Jared Getting Fat Again
Jared Fogle?

Subway ad personality Jared Fogle, is now moving up, but not exactly in the way he wanted. While he made great strides with the Subway diet and losing a great amount of weight in the process, Jared's weight is going up, presumably fueled by 11 herbs and spices.

Jared has been caught eating KFC chicken numerous times since mid-2006. A KFC employee who wished to remain anonymous revealed that Jared has been seen wearing "gangsta gear and glasses" to hide his known preppy look.

"He was barely recognizable" said the anonymous employee, "I recognized him because of the funny way he pronounces the letter S and rushes through the words".

Apparently, Jared's new meal of choice has become public knowledge and Subway executives are not too happy about it.

Jared is definitely getting fat again and sources have confirmed that should he add a couple of more pounds he is out of the Subway endorsement deal. Jared denied such rumors.

"We (Subway and Jared) have a very strong relationship, my endorsement deal is not in danger".

As it relates to his recent weight gain, Jared had to say the following: "Michael Strahan and John Cena really did convince me to add more meat to my ssandwichess,".

But other reports confirm that he has indeed become a Kentucky Fried fanatic.

Meanwhile, executives at YUM! Brands, parent company of KFC, are already considering snatching Jared away from Subway should his endorsement deal fall through, even considering the replacement of the iconic image of Colonel Sanders with that of a chubbier Jared.

"They want to appeal to younger generation that's not too familiar with the legacy of Colonel Sanders, but definitely knows of Jared" said a source who wished to remain anonymous. "KFC wants people to know that their foods are pretty healthy, they are even building a diet plan that consists of wrapping napkins around greasier foods".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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