Sperm Modified to Include Calorie Counter

Funny story written by carina-eta

Saturday, 12 May 2007

image for Sperm Modified to Include Calorie Counter
The clinic where trials are taking place

Scientists have today announced that human sperm can be genetically modified to include nutritional information and a calorie counter. The breakthrough follows years of abstinence by women who claim that sperm is fattening.

The scientists behind the breakthrough claim to have worked day and night for three years to achieve the necessary genome technology. The sperm can now be produced with a tiny little square of information revealing the calorie content, energy value and additives of every single sperm which is also given in "per 5ml" proportion too.

When asked how women are meant to check the calorific value of a particular sperm, scientists recommended requesting a pre-date sample by courier and checking under the microscope.

Weightwatchers and Slimming World have both today announced that sperm will now be included in their diet programmes and "Quickstart" incentives.

Scientists are now working on a "flavour selector" genome.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more