Enhanced Interrogation supervisor under investigation as she failed to provide protective face masks for clients
Since the Coronavirus pandemic put many full-time enhanced interrogators on furlough, there has been a shocking reduction in protection for staff, with many chambers not even providing a first aid kit. Freelance interrogator, Mr. E. Gore, of McLe…
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Sammy Hagar Pisses Off a Lot of Real Singers
BISON SPIT, Montana – Former singer, Sammy Hagar, who is 72-going-on-92, has just made what is being considered by many to be the most idiotic, stupid remark regarding the Coronavirus pandemic yet. The Memphis Post-Haste newspaper wrote that even...
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50% off meals will reinvigorate hospitality sector - but lardy lockdown bingers fear meals will simply be half size
The government's post-Coronavirus strategy will support ailing restaurants and tackle the lockdown binging obesity crisis by providing half a meal, at full price, for fatties. ‘This government isn’t going to sit on its arse, we’ve got an appetit…
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As Leicester is plunged back into lockdown Matt Hancock said that the City has plunged before so it can plunge again but he’s confident Leicester folk are plunge resistant.
Due to the pernicious impact of previous outbreaks of Leicester’s cultural heritage, such as Showaddywaddy, Engelbert Humperdinck, and Gary Lineker, the Prime Minister has said: ‘We’ll have a ring of steel round the place in hours. We can’t let any o…
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President Trump Says He Will Never, Ever Get The Coronavirus
NEW YORK CITY – The President flew into New York City to make a special appearance on the Sean Hannity Show. Trump informed Hannity that he will never, ever come down with the Chinese Checker Coronavirus King Kong Flu. He was asked how in the w…
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Spit-a-Long-a-Don
In his desperate quest to convince Americans of the utterly benign effects of Covid-19, President Donald Trump will be spitting on his audience at the next rally of Republicans, and will invite them to spit on each other as evidence of the total harm…
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Christmas To Be Delayed Until Next Year
‘Air bridges can be windy but they’re strong and stable’ claims anonymous Tory backbencher.
Biden calls for mandatory mask-wearing; almost gets himself tested with a GX-2009 Portable Multi-Gas Detector
Florida Sets The U.S. Record With 10,000 New Coronavirus Cases in Just One Day
Snake venom kills Covid-19 virus!
Major League Baseball Gains a Big Sponsor
CDC Warning to Men with Trophy Wives
Is Donald Trump Turning Into A Typhoid Annie?
The SPL and Aberdeen
Bomb Bomb China: Trump To Use Neutron Bomb To Get Rid Of Coronavirus
Wimbledon 2020 To Be Played On Nintendo Wii
Brit marrow champion 'slugged' after UK lockdown!
Canada Masks Up For Hockey
Toronto, CANADA (a country north of the USA) In Canada today, news came that every man, woman and dog within its borders has been nervously waiting for—the long drought is over—hockey will soon begin again! Yes, there is a God! If the good folks…
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Man Decides Yoga Is Not For Him
It's been difficult, for some people, to find things to do to occupy their time during the Coronavirus lockdown, but one man who took up Yoga has, after a brief struggle, decided that the activity is not really his 'cup of tea'. Moys Kenwood, 57,...
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Couple telling everyone about their lock down anxiety dreams
Mithering on the Trent couple, Stan and Vera, have been telling anyone who would listen, including their postmen, about the weird, anxiety lockdown dreams they have been having lately. 'Yes, it has been a bit strange,' said Stan, when we were the…
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Man Has Decided To Get Fit
In keeping with medical advice that everyone should take regular exercise, and taking advantage of the opportunity that the Coronavirus lockdown has provided him with, one man in his 'twilight years' has decided to 'get with the program', and to star…
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Tampa Bay Buccaneers' Coach Bruce Arians Fears That Most of His Players Will Come Down With the Coronapalooza Virus
TAMPA BAY – Regarding the dreaded Coronavirus pandemic, Bucs coach Bruce Arians has made it very clear that he's no doctor, but he says he doesn’t have to be a firefighter to know that a forest fire is damn hot. Coach A, said that when the Bucs si…
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Black Lace record has been played too many times during Lockdown
Agadoo, a 1980s hit for Yorkshire-based popular beat combo, Black Lace, is said to be the most heard, but least wanted song played during the lockdown. Couples all over the country, wanting to remember the good times when Auntie Janice would form…
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Coronavirus Spelled Backwards = Suriv-Anoroc: A Coincidence?
BILLINGSGATE POST: You might have to change your minds about the relevancy of unintended coincidences. But with all of the handwringing attention being given to the Worldwide Coronavirus epidemic, perhaps some linguistic analysis of the semordnilap o...
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Donald Trump Jr’s., Girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle Has Just Tested Positive For the Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The entire Trump klan has refused to wear the medical masks like every intelligent human being in the nation is doing. DJT thinks that he is immune, simply because he is rich, handsome, a Republican, and the Electoral College pr…
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COVID-19 Could Mean Lock-Down for Six More Years
WASHINGTON DC - The World Health Organization (WHO) has issued an Urgent Situation Update for the Coronavirus Pandemic. The top WHO official, Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, warned nations that "the worst is yet to come." Much of the concern came…
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Burger King To Offer Free Designer Coronavirus Masks With Any Purchase
INDIANAPOLIS – A high-ranking official with Burger King has just announced a summertime promotion. Plans are for BK to begin offering customers free Coronavirus medical masks with any purchase of a Burger King product. The masks will come in t…
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Woman still hasn't started her painting
Vera Smythe still hasn't started the painting she has been planning to do for years. The sprightly 73-year-old had always hoped to paint a masterpiece when she had the time, but even though she has been in Lockdown for four months, she still hasn't s…
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Mona Lisa Is Pouty As Louvre Opens Back Up
Paris, France - According to a super French art historian, Guy Ohlalâ, the Mona Lisa is not happy about the Louvre Museum opening back up after being closed for 4 months due to some weird bat burger illness. Monsieur Ohlalâ claims that he has a ve…
Read full storyFunny Coronavirus Headlines
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Coronavirus 'Antidote' Found
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Man's Friend Thinks China Started Coronavirus To Destroy Western Economies
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Billboard Top 10 Music Chart - Sponsored By The Coronavirus
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Spain Cancels All Bullfights – Matadors Are Demanding a Bailout
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Electric Eels 'Agitated' Left Man Agitated
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Welsh Government relaxes lockdown rules on sheep shagging
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Trump Facing Landslide Loss
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Designer Masks For Make America Great Again
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You had all of lockdown to read me and you still have not read a page
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Nancy Pelosi Suggests That The Coronavirus (C-19) Be Renamed The (C-45) in Honor of President Trump
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Anti-Coronavirus Dog Collars Available To Public From Friday
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Man Has Gone To Live In Parallel Universe
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Insect And Animal Populations Already Recovering As A Result Of Lockdown
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Greta Thunberg: Only A Meteor Can Save Us From Coronavirus
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Bored Tesla AI Assaults Driver
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Football Referees Will ALL Have Coronavirus Symptoms
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Fauci and Newsom get down to it in dark little club on collapsing virus narrative
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Liverpool Players Claim They Were 'Put Off' By Saxophonist
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Florida May Have To Close
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Beach bums refuse to wear masks in Bournemouth!
