Man Has Become Scourge Of His Neighbourhood For Refusing To Clap NHS Workers

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 23 April 2020

image for Man Has Become Scourge Of His Neighbourhood For Refusing To Clap NHS Workers
The clapping is good, but there are no points for social distancing here

A man has created a storm and incurred the wrath of his neighbours after refusing to stand outside his house at 8pm on Thursday nights to clap the efforts of beleaguered NHS workers.

Myke Woodson, 56, from Oaf-on-Sea, says that he acknowledges the wonderful and brave work the hospital staff are doing, and the sacrifices they are making, and fully appreciates that he, himself might be in need of their assistance at some time in the future. But, he said:

"I don't see the point of standing on me front step, and clapping like a loony - especially when I live five miles from the hospital, and nobody from the health service knows whether we're clapping or not!"

His neighbours say that it doesn't matter whether the doctors, nurses and cleaners can hear the clapping or not; it's the thought that counts.

Said Woodson:

"My favourite programme starts at 8 o'clock, and it'd be a shame to miss the start, but if it's only the thought that counts, I'll have the thought from the comfort of me settee, with a mug of tea and a packet of crisps."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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