Sex Every Night For Some Couples During Lockdown

Funny story written by Mister Meaner

Monday, 6 April 2020

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This lockdown's alright, isn't it?

It's being suggested, in some circles, that the closure of public places where people gather in numbers, to attempt to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus, is having a positive effect on married couples, some of whom now admit to having sex every night of the week!

The 'shutdown', or 'lockdown', also requires people to stay at home, and many couples have taken the opportunity to turn it into a 'sexdown'.

Dave and Jenny, from Rochdale, are one such couple. Dave said:

"Well, it's not ideal, not being allowed to go out, is it? But you have to make the best of a bad job, and we've been going at it 'hammer and tongs' for a fortnight, now."

Dougie and Bernice, who live in Peterborough, are also enjoying the 'extra playtime'. Bernice:

"To be honest, we have a fairly active sex life, anyway, but it's given us more time to try out new positions, and for Dougie to repair the wardrobe he damaged when trying that stunt."

Sex therapist, Ken Fuchs, advised that there was nothing wrong with people at a daily loose end enjoying each other's company:

"There's nothing wrong with a company of people daily enjoying each other's loose ends."

But, even though many are 'playing along', some are still looking forward to the end of movement restrictions. Tatty Mullett, 53, of Blackpool, said:

"I love my wife very much, and she knows it. But when this is all over, I'll be glad to get back to me darts on Mondays, me dominoes on Wednesdays, and me snooker on Fridays. In the meantime, I'm perfectly willing to snake her the odd length when I can, and, in all truth, it's not unpleasant."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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